


Hi Papi

by artificialalexandria



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Season 11, Sexting, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialalexandria/pseuds/artificialalexandria
Summary: Non AU about Branjie that is set during the filming of RPDR S11





	1. This is where it starts

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but Vanjie is so attractive to me. I know it’s kinda scandalous to date or mess around with other people in the competition because we’re all supposed to focus on winning, but I just can’t help it. That short little Puerto Rican man is like a magnet, I can’t help but be drawn to him. I saw him standing alone across the workroom and decided now was my chance to make a move.  
“Hi Papi,” I said as I walked over to him.  
“Hi,” He replied with a smile.  
“How are you?” I asked as I gave him a quick peck on the lips and hugged him. I noticed some of the other queens staring at us, but I don’t care.  
“I’m good,” Vanjie said as we pulled away. When he sat down at his workstation, I walked over and hugged him from behind and we both ended up looking over to see Akeria staring at us. She’s probably trying to figure out what is going on.  
“You were so good yesterday,” I told Vanjie. Today was the day after the Diva Worship challenge, which Vanjie absolutely killed.  
“I was feeling the spirit, the holy ghost,” He smiled.  
“It was so good,” I said.  
“Thank you,” He replied, still smiling. I started to walk away and turned around, looking at him over my shoulder with a smile. He made eye contact with me and I stared at him for a few more seconds before walking back to my own workstation. I tried to focus on getting into drag, but I was always thinking about him. I knew he was right across the room from me all this time. I tried to push away thoughts of what I wanted to do with him so that I could focus.  
After our maxi challenge was over, I started planning out my look for the fringe runway. Because we had a ton of time while we waited on the other team, I decided to go take a smoke break. I sighed as I walked out of the studio. As I lit my cigarette, I heard the door open and turned around. None other than Vanjie was walking towards me.  
“What are you doing out here?” I asked with a laugh.  
“Well, I saw you walk out and I figured I could keep you company,” He said as he walked over and hugged me. This feels so unreal. Why would the hottest man in this cast go for me? As we pulled away, I put my hands on his face and pulled him into a kiss. He put his hands on my hips and kissed back, pulling me closer to him. We made out for a few more seconds before we heard someone open the door. He jumped back and we turned to see one of the production assistants walking over to us.  
“Hey, guys. The other team will be finished soon, so I'll need you both back in the workroom in five minutes,” She said before walking back inside.  
“Hey, sorry I jumped like that,” He said as he turned back around.  
“No, I get it. You're not ashamed, you just don't want us to get in trouble,” I responded before walking past him, planning to go back to the workroom. He grabbed my arm and stopped me.  
“Listen, I really like you,” He said with a smile, pulling me in for a kiss.  
“I like you too,” I replied before kissing him again.  
“I wish we didn't have to go back inside,” He said as I rested my forehead against his.  
“I know, but we can talk more this later,” I said, giving him a quick peck on the lips and grabbing his hand, leading him back inside. Back in the workroom, I went back to my workstation and focused on my look. I occasionally looked over at Vanjie and smiled. I've got to kill this runway tonight that I can stay here long enough to see where this thing goes.


	2. The first time we did it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little smut goes down after Brooke sneaks into Vanjie's room

Well, my team won and that means Vanjie and I both made it to week four. We're all pretty shook up about the six-way lip sync, but still all I can think about is Vanjie. He's just so attractive. I'm shocked that he's even into me. Of all these attractive queens here, why me? We ended up sitting next to each other in the van on the way back to the hotel.   
“Hi,” I said. A giggle escaped my throat.  
“Hi,” He replied with a smile. We didn’t say anything else before he leaned over a kissed me. I put my hand on his sternum and moved closer to him. I could feel his rapid heartbeat beneath my fingers.  
“Ugh, I really miss my boyfriend right now,” Ariel whined from the other side of me. I ignored him.  
I slid my hand up to his neck. His skin was very soft and smooth, much like his lips. I can’t help but think this will never get old. I can't remember what life was like before I was making out with the hottest guy in the room.   
Vanjie briefly broke our kiss to pant against my cheek “Sneak into my hotel room tonight?”  
“I’ll try,” I replied before kissing him again. Too soon, we reached the hotel and we were ushered out of the van by the production assistants.   
I’d kinda become friends with the young production assistant who watches over me to make sure I’m following the rules at night. I had never asked her to help me break any rules, but I thought she might if I asked.  
“Tonight would be the night to test that out,” I mumbled. I waited about an hour to give all the queens and assistants time to settle in. Then, I went to the door and slipped a note under the door asking if my assistant could help me with something. Soon, I heard a knock at my door.  
“Yes?” She asked as I opened the door.  
“I need a huge favor,” I told her.  
“Okay. What do you need?” She asked curiously. I really hope that I can trust her to help me. Otherwise, I could get in trouble for even asking.  
“I think a relationship is starting between me and one of the other queens. They asked me to try and sneak into their room tonight. Could you make that happen for me?” I asked her, almost begging.  
“Which one?” She asked.  
“Vanjie,” I replied, wondering why it mattered.  
“Oh, Brooke,” She groaned. “Why the most guarded one?”  
“What do you mean?” I asked.  
“She’s the most popular because she returned and she also happens to have the most security around her,” She explained.  
“Oh,” I sighed disappointedly. “So I guess you can’t get me into her room then.”  
“No, no, no,” She assured me. “I can. I just need a few minutes to figure out a plan. I’ll be right back,” She said before walking away quickly. I shook my head in happy disbelief. I couldn’t believe my production assistant was actually gonna sneak me into his room. I sat on my bed and waited for her to come back. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. I jumped up and run to answer it.  
“Okay, come on. Quietly so you don’t attract any attention,” She whispered and grabbed me by the arm. I closed my door behind me and followed her down the dark hallway.  
“How long can I stay?” I asked quietly.  
“I can come get you about an hour before time to go get on the van,” She replied.  
“Thank you, Angela, I really appreciate this,” I told her.  
“Yeah, any time. I’m not going to stand in the way of love,” She giggled. We stopped at a certain door. This must be Vanjie’s door. She knocked on the door and after a few seconds, it opened.  
“Brooke?” Vanjie actually looked surprised to see me.  
“Shh, just let me in before one of the other PAs catches me sneaking into your room,” I laughed before pushing past him. He shut the door quietly behind him as I sat down on his bed.  
“I told you I’d try to come,” I said with a mischievous smile.  
“I didn’t think you’d be able to,” He said, sitting down beside me. “Yet here you are.” We looked into each other’s eyes for a second before he put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me into a kiss. I moved my hands to the bottom of his shirt, pulling on it softly. He let go of me, pulling away from the kiss. He took his shirt off, revealing his beautiful tattooed body. All the tattoos and muscles took my breath away for a second. I didn’t quite realized how ripped he is.   
“Your turn,” He smirked, pulling my shirt over my head. I immediately closed the distance between us and kissed him. He slowly lay down, pulling me on top of him. I leaned down and kissed him. I moved my hand to his chest, slowly dragging it down his body until I reached the edge of his shorts. He inhaled sharply, causing me to pull back a bit.  
“You sure you wanna do this?” I asked.  
“Less talking, more touching and kissing,” Vanjie replied before pulling me into a kiss once again. After a few seconds, I pulled away, moving to kiss his neck instead. When I kissed right below his ear, it made him squirm a little. I smiled and bit down on his neck softly, making a small moan escape from him.   
“Wow, that was hot,” I smiled, sitting up just enough to be able to look into his eyes.  
“Don’t stop now,” He begged, eyes full of lust. I grabbed his arms and pinned them over his head as I leaned over to kiss his neck again. He wrapped his legs around my waist, pushing his hips upwards in an attempt to create some friction between us. I moved my lips down his body, letting go of his arms once I got too far away to hold them down anymore. The further down his stomach I went, the harder he pulled on my hair. I didn’t expect him pulling on my hair to feel so good.   
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you wanted me to stop,” I laughed.  
“I’ve wanted this since the moment you stepped into the workroom,” He said, holding my face in his hands for a second.  
“Me too,” I hooked my hands into the waistband of his shorts and underwear, watching his reaction. He bit his lip hard as I slowly slid them off. We had until early in the morning to do whatever we wanted, so I figured I’d make this first encounter slow and memorable. No need to rush it along. I leaned down once again and slowly ran my tongue up his throbbing cock. His hands found their way into my hair again and he pulled at it desperately as he moaned.  
“Please,” He begged me. I moved my hand up to grab it, sliding it into my mouth. I started out at a snail’s pace because I knew it would piss him off. He squirmed beneath me.  
“Faster, please,” He moaned softly.   
“I’m in control here,” I growled. ”Just be quiet and be grateful that I’m risking us both getting in trouble just so we can fuck.” Vanjie inhale sharply, jerking in my hand.   
Huh, I think, looks like I discovered something he’s into.  
“Wow, I never pictured Miss Vanjie as a submissive bottom,” I joked before moving up his body so I could kiss him.  
“Anything for you,” He said just before our lips connected. We touched feverishly, both so desperate to release all of the sexual tension that had been building for over a week.  
“Are you ready?” I asked, sitting up as I pulled away from him. He nodded and impatiently bit his lip. I moved my hand down and guided myself into his hole. He moaned as I pushed in slowly. I gradually picked up the pace until I was pounding his tight ass as hard and fast as my body would let me without passing out. He was moaning so loud it was nearly screaming at this point and my god was it the hottest sound I’d ever heard. As soon as I felt myself getting close, I stopped and pulled out, taking a second to calm down before leaning over next to his ear.  
“I want you to blow me, Papi,” I whispered in his ear.   
“Yes, daddy,” He moaned hoarsely, voice cracking from all the screaming he’d been doing. Hearing those words was so hot it made my dick twitch and I bit my lip hard. I lay down beside him and watched as he moved quickly into place. He took all of me into his mouth, never breaking eye contact with me. I put one hand in his hair and gripped the sheets with the other. As I felt myself reaching the edge I pulled his head up roughly and growled every cuss word in the English language as I came all over his gorgeous Puerto Rican face. He just stared at me, breathing heavily.  
“Come sit on my stomach, baby,” I said as I caught my breath. He obediently moved up my body and sat down gently on my lower stomach. I pulled him down roughly into a kiss and grabbed his dick in my hand, pumping it fast. He moaned into the kiss, but refused to pull away from it. After a minute or so, he threw his head back and moaned loudly as he came in my hand and on my chest. Then, he lay down beside and tried to catch his breath.  
“Thank you,” He said quietly after several seconds.  
“For what,” I laughed. “I needed this just as much as you did.” I planted a kiss on his cheek, snaking my arm around his waist..  
“Just for even taking the time and effort to get here. You could’ve easily said it was too risky and just blown me off,” He said, looking up at me.  
“Of course, babe,” After a while, I said, “Hey, I have a question.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Be my boyfriend?” I asked him with a smile.  
“Duh!” He said before kissing me sweetly.  
“Hey, we should really shower. We’re both covered in each other’s cum,” I laughed.  
“Alright, true. Let’s go hop in the shower together,” He replied, laughing along with me. We got up and walked towards the bathroom. I laughed as I noticed he was nearly penguin waddling to the bathroom.  
“That bad, huh?” I asked, laughing harder.  
“Hey, now. You know you were power drilling this ass, bitch,” He laughed and playfully smacked my chest as he walked by. I reached out and smacked him hard on the ass, nearly sending him halfway across the bathroom.  
“Maybe you’ll get in the shower faster now,” I laughed, following him into the bathroom. He stepped into the shower and I stepped in behind him, closing the frosted glass shower door behind us. Once we got the water to a suitable temperature, we intermittently made out between taking turns washing each other. Eventually, we when the water was lukewarm, we finished our shower and made our way back to his bed. He faced away from me and I wrapped my arm around his waist, laying my head on his shoulder. For just a second, I wished we weren’t on RuPaul’s Drag Race and I wished that my production assistant wouldn’t be back in the morning to take me away from him.


	3. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rachel Maddow mini challenge and preparation for Trump the Rusical

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
I woke up to a knock on the door and groaned, knowing it was the production assistant coming to take me back to my own room. The sound had woken Vanjie up as well and he rolled over to face me.   
“I wish I didn’t have to go,” I whined and kissed him.  
“Me too,” He sighed as I climbed out of bed. I threw my clothes on quickly and groaned again as I heard another knock at the door.  
“I’m coming. Just a second,” I said. When I was completely dressed, I ran over and kissed Vanjie one more time before heading out of the door.  
“Thank god, I was scared I’d get caught if you didn’t hurry,” Angela said in a state of panic.  
“Sorry. I wasn’t dressed. I forgot to put clothes back on last night,” I said as we walked quickly back to my room.  
“Sounds like it went well,” She laughed, relaxing a bit.  
“Oh, yeah. It did. We’re dating now,” I said with a smile.  
“Aww! Congrats!” She exclaimed as we reached my door.  
“Thank you,” I said, smiling brighter.  
“Well, you’ve got about an hour until we come to round you up for the van ride to the studio,” She said as I opened my door.  
“Thank you for everything,” I told her and hugged her before walking into my room.  
“You’re welcome. Good luck today,” She said. We exchanged goodbyes and then I closed the door. I walked over to my bed and sat down. I noticed a plate of food on my nightstand with a note from the production assistant telling me to make sure I ate before leaving for set. I smiled and made a mental note to myself to thank her later.   
About the time I was placing my empty dishes in the sink, I heard a knock on my door. I quickly changed into fresh clothes and ran out the door. Some of the other queens were walking towards the van at the same time as me. I ended up walking alongside Akeria.  
“Girl, what is going on with you and Vanjie? I been seeing y’all and how y’all be all over each other and stuff,” Akeria said as we walked to the van.  
“Oh, we’re dating,” I giggled and blushed, thoughts of last night flashing through my head.  
“Is that against the rules?” He asked.  
“Not as far as I know. Production hasn’t said anything yet and they’ve seen us kissing several times,” I told him.  
“Well, just don’t forget the reason you’re here,” He said with a smile.  
“I won’t. I’ll send my own boyfriend home if I have to. I’m in it to win it,” I laughed.  
“Good. Glad to hear it, girl. And good luck with your relationship,” He said before we split up to get in on opposite sides of the van. When we were all settled in, I ended up between Ariel and Plastique with Vanjie behind me.  
“Good morning, baby,” He leaned over and whispered in my ear.  
“Good morning, Papi,” I replied with a laugh. The ride to the studio was boring and quiet as usual. The morning rides are particularly quiet because everyone is dead tired from waking up so early. I can’t say the night rides are much different. Everyone is still tired, but at least we have a day full of events to talk about.  
“Did I dream about last night?” Vanjie asked quietly as we pulled up to the studio.  
“Nope,” I laughed and headed out of the van after Plastique got out. We all waited patiently for the crew to lead us to the workroom. I felt someone grab my hand and turned my head to see Vanjie standing beside me. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand gently.  
“So, are you guys like dating now or something?” Ariel asked, walking over to us.  
“Yeah, girl,” Vanjie smiled.  
“Cool,” Ariel replied with a smile before walking away.  
“That was random,” I laughed.  
“Eh, it’s Ariel. She kinda reminds me of that airhead cheerleader everyone had at their high school,” He replied, making me laugh harder.  
“Aww, come on now. Ariel is sweet,” I said, trying to defend the younger queen.  
“Go date Ariel then,” Vanjie said followed by an eye roll.  
“First of all, Ariel has a boyfriend who is a tall, scary, ripped bodybuilder,” I started as I leaned down to kiss him. “Second, you’re the one I want.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” He laughed and kissed me. Production then started gathering us up and lining us up to walk into the workroom. When RuPaul walked in, he told us that we would all be doing quick drag as Rachel Maddow to read breaking news. I had no idea how to feel about this mini challenge, but I quickly ran to my station to get ready. When I was done, I noticed Vanjie walking across the workroom and I walked over to him.   
“You look real sexy,” I joked as I walked towards him.  
“Don’t you even dare look at me right now,” He said, laughing while continuing to walk. I reached over and smacked him on the ass. He flinched a little and I smiled, knowing it was because he was still sore from last night. I couldn’t help but pick on him any chance I got. It mostly just gave me an excuse to be around him in the workroom. It’s hard to focus on a competition when your boyfriend is across the room from you.  
During the mini challenge, I had to force myself not to laugh at Vanjie. He couldn’t pronounce any of the words as he was reading them from the teleprompter, and it was hilarious! Neither of us won the mini challenge, which I honestly expected based on our performances.  
After the mini challenge, RuPaul informed us that our maxi challenge would be a musical about Donald Trump. I was super curious to find out which characters were in it and who would be cast as whom. We all sat down and listened to it together. Then, Scarlet started assigning roles. Mercedes volunteered to be the main character and we all looked at him in confusion. I looked over at Vanjie to see he was staring at him, furrowing his brows in disbelief. No one felt confident that he would be good for that role.  
“Ariel, you’d also be really good at Shandee too. Just to throw that out there,” I said to Ariel, who looked even more confused than when Mercedes volunteered.  
“Yeah, I think you’d make a cute Shandee,” Scarlet agreed. “You’re just like really bubbly and you’re kind of a cartoon, you know, like it’ll-it’ll come across really well.”  
“You don’t want Shandee?” Scarlet asked, seeing that Ariel was clearly not happy with the suggestion.  
“I don’t know. I just feel like I connect more with Ivanka,” Ariel replied. I didn’t know what to say, so I just looked at Scarlet to see what his reaction would be.  
“I wanna see you as Shandee,” Scarlet said, making that his final decision for Ariel.  
“Okay,” He replied in a high pitched voice, visibly annoyed. Scarlet later suggested that Silky be Oprah, which made Silky mad because Silky wanted Ariel’s role as Shandee. Vanjie interjected, saying that Oprah is a fierce role. However, Silky continued to throw a fit, which really annoyed Vanjie. I could practically see steam coming out of his ears, so I pulled him outside for a smoke break.  
“Are you okay, Papi?” I asked him.  
“Yeah, I’m just aggravated. After that six way lip sync last week, we need to slay this challenge. These hoes need to be happy with the roles they were assigned and just fucking give it all they’ve got,” He said before taking a puff of his cigarette.  
“I agree,” I told him.  
“Hey, you really were sexy dressed up as Rachel Maddow,” I added after a few seconds of silence.  
“Shut up, you goofball,” He laughed and moved in front of me. I grabbed him by his hips, pulling him into a kiss as his arms found their way around my neck. We stood there like that and made out for a while until a production assistant came outside and told us to come back in. Well, time to kill this musical.


	4. Orange Alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember that one episode of Untucked?

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
It was time to learn and rehearse the choreography for Trump: The Rusical. The choreographer asked to have only the “Foxy Girls” on the stage, so the rest of us got to sit down, including me and Vanjie. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to sit next to him, but I’ll survive for a little while, I reassured myself. I sighed in disappointment before turning my attention to the stage. I watched in horror as the choreographer started teaching extremely difficult choreography to the four queens standing on the stage. I’m a good dancer and won’t have any issues, but I’m terrified for everyone else. I sat very quietly until it was my turn to go on stage. My group did alright except for Ariel. I could see him getting very upset at not being able to do the choreography. It was a little heartbreaking, especially when some of the other girls kept telling him to just do the moves. I was really worried he’s not going to be able to pull this off.  
When we got back into the workroom, I put my makeup on and tried not to focus on worrying about other people. I had no idea how some of these girls were going to do, and I was even worried about Vanjie. I had to push it out of my head and focus on myself.   
Thankfully, I was in the top and didn’t have to worry. However, the critiques made it seem like poor Vanjie was in the bottom three. I was standing next to him on the runway, so I had to hear everything that was said to him. I was really worried about how that would affect Vanjie. He’d been doing so well in the competition, so I knew he would be devastated. Honestly, it broke my heart a little. When we were sent to the Untucked lounge, I sat and listened to everyone else until I saw Vanjie walk over to a mirror. I decided to get up and follow him.  
“I have to come up with this little eight count and get what I gotta do,” He said as we walked towards the mirror. “You know me I gotta come up with something.”  
“You’re gonna be fine,” I assured him. “Are you feeling okay though, like...”  
“I mean, I’m just a little bit…” He trailed off.  
“Out of the three in the middle you were, I feel...” I said as I placed my hand on his back. “ You were given the least harsh critiques.”  
“Fuck that shit,” He said, turning around to face me. “If I’m given any negative, I’m gonna learn the song.”  
“You’ll be fine though,” I said. He sipped on his drink. With a pang, I could see he’s trying to keep himself from crying.   
“They gave you almost no negative critiques, like, when we were rehearsing,” I said. “And you were killing the dancing, so.”  
“Whatever,” He replied shortly. “I mean, you know, it is what it is.”  
I took this opportunity to wrap my arms around him, knowing that it may be the last time I would get to see him for months if he goes home. I kissed him on the cheek as we hugged. Vanjie leaned up to kiss me and we kissed twice. In that moment, we didn’t care if anyone saw, we just needed this time together before he possibly had to lip sync. We pulled away slightly and ran my fingers across his jawline. I really don’t want to do this without him.   
I made myself walk back over to the couches, only to hear the other queens talking about us.   
“What’s this hoemance about, Brooke Lynn?” Ariel asked. The others repeated it as I walked over to sit back down in my spot.  
I laughed. I was a little embarrassed that they caught us, but I was also proud to be able to say Vanjie is mine. “Oh fuck off, everyone. Go away.”  
“Vanjie is cute, honey,” Shuga said.  
“Get that D, bitch,” Nina said. I burst out laughing. “Get that Vanjie D.”  
I just laughed, not wanting to say anything in front of the cameras. We have both been so afraid of getting booted out of here like Willam did on season four. There never has been any official rule that two contestants can’t date, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t get in trouble. RuPaul is the main person we’ve been worried about finding out because at any time he would be free to snap a finger and have us both thrown out.  
Tiffany Pollard walked into the room and Vanjie headed back over to the couches. After a few minutes of her being around, I was able to forget about everything else for a little bit. Then she asked if there had been any romantic conversation between any of us. Well, fuck. I instantly knew the others would call us out, especially after they just saw us kiss. All the girls cheered and she said she wanted to know who. Akeria grabbed Vanjie by the arm and dragged him over to me. He quickly kissed me on the cheek, then backed away,  
“How long has it been going on?” Tiffany asked. “You got that itch that has got to be scratched?!” All the girls screamed in response to that comment. Neither one of us said anything. It’s not that we’re ashamed to be together, we just don’t want to get in trouble. When she left, Vanjie walked back over to the mirror to learn the lip sync song. I didn’t follow him this time. I wanted to give him a chance to learn the song and prepare to fight for his spot in the competition.  
Thankfully, Vanjie was safe from lip syncing, which meant we got to be together for another couple days at least. The walk back to the van was very quiet. Vanjie and I didn’t say anything as we walked next to each other. When we sat together on the van, I immediately pulled him into a hug.  
“Are you okay, baby?” I asked him softly.  
“I’m sorry,” Tears ran down his face. “I shouldn’t have acted like that with Tiffany.”  
“What do you mean?” I asked.  
“I wasn’t feeling my best. I was scared of leaving you here alone,” He explained. “So when she asked about us, I walked away from you because I was trying to focus on myself. I didn’t mean to seem like I don’t care about our relationship.”  
“Babe, I get it,” I smiled sadly and kissed him. “I completely understand. I’m not upset with you.”  
“Good,” He said, wiping tears from his eyes. I kissed his forehead and held him close to my body the whole ride back to the hotel. When we arrived, Angela was waiting for me outside of the van. Huh. I usually only see her when she calls me to come to the van in the mornings.  
“Brooke, I did something for you and I hope you’ll be happy with it,” She said excitedly.  
“What do you mean?” I asked. Vanjie hesitantly stood off to the side.  
“I got your room moved,” Angela giggled.  
“Huh?” I asked, not understanding.   
“You’re next to Vanjie now and it’s a connecting suite,” She explained. “You can go to his room any time you want now.”  
“Oh my god, you’re amazing!” I exclaimed. I hugged her tight. I was very happy to be able to spend as much time with Vanjie as I wanted. Especially after he nearly went home tonight. I pulled away and looked over at Vanjie, who was standing slack-jawed in disbelief at what he just heard.  
“That’s not a joke is it?” He asked in disbelief.  
“Not at all!” Angela replied. I pulled Vanjie into a hug and kissed him excitedly. Angela took us to our rooms and I opened my door. All my stuff had been moved to this new room. I couldn’t help but smile a little, thinking about Vanjie being in my room with me all the time. I quickly walked over to the connecting door and opened it. Vanjie’s side of the door was already open, so he walked in and hugged me.  
“Your assistant is a goddess,” He said. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He put his arms around my waist, closing the small amount of space between us.  
“So what do you wanna do?” I asked when we pulled away.  
“Do you want to cuddle and watch a movie?” He asked.  
“Sure,” I smiled. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the bed. We both lay down, getting into a comfortable position. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. He lay his head on my chest. Just being here alone with him like this made me feel safe. Nothing else in the world mattered in that moment but holding the man I love.  
“Honestly, I’m so comfortable that I don’t even wanna move to turn anything on,” He said. That made me laugh. I reached over and grabbed the TV remote, pressing the button to turn it on. The only thing on was late night talk shows, but we didn’t mind. We just lay there and enjoyed each other’s company. Vanjie lifted his head slightly and started kissing my neck. A shiver went down my spine.  
“What happened to cuddling?” I laughed looking down at him.  
“What if I don’t wanna just cuddle?” He smirked.  
“Tell me what you want then,” I said. He sat up and leaned down to kiss me. I pulled him over on top of me and continued kissing. I grabbed his ass with both hands, grinding against him. The friction made both of us moan.   
“I want you,” He said, eyes full of lust. He pulled away a little, pulling his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. I bit my lip as I admired his beautiful body. I put my hand on his collarbone, dragging my fingers down to his stomach.  
“You’re so hot, Papi,” I said. He bit his lip.  
“So are you, baby,” He smirked, leaning down to kiss me again. Now that I know I can be with him every night while I’m here, I can’t imagine ever sleeping alone again. I flipped us over so that I was on the top. I kissed his neck, making sure I paid extra attention to his sweet spot. He moaned loudly and grabbed my ass. I pulled away and took my shirt off, then I pulled Vanjie’s pants off.  
“Are you ready?” I asked. He only nodded and I shook my head.“I said are you ready?” I asked again.  
“Yes. Please,” He begged.  
“Please do what?” I husked.  
“Fuck me,” He said, his hands now gripping the waistband of my sweatpants. “Please. I need you.”  
“Good boy,” I said. I took my sweatpants off and leaned down, kissing him. I wrapped my hand around his dick, stroking him as we kissed. He moaned into the kiss, which made me want him even more. It took a lot of self control not to dive in right then. I moved so that I could hold both his dick and mine in my hand at the same time. Pleasure sparked and we both moaned.  
“Please, fuck me,” He panted. I moved into position and slid into him slowly, giving him time to adjust. He closed his eyes and bit his lip as I picked up the pace. I grabbed his dick, stroking him just as fast as I was fucking him. I was determined not to be the first one to cum this time. He moaned uncontrollably and it was so hot. I didn’t think I could get any harder, but Vanjie’s sexy moans made it possible. His moans became more frequent until finally he came, spilling hot cum on his stomach. I stopped and took a second to catch my breath.  
“You wanna finish me off again?” I asked as I pulled out. He nodded, so I lay on my back. Just like the last time, he wasted no time moving into position. He put one hand on my stomach and used the other to guide my dick into his mouth. I watched him intensely as he moved his head up and down. I felt myself getting close and I gripped the sheets hard. Vanjie kept going and soon I was cumming down his throat. When I was finished, he sat up a little and swallowed hard.  
“I’ve never seen anything hotter than what you just did,” I said, breathing heavily. He laid on his side beside me and leaned in to kiss me. I put one hand on his cheek. His lips were so soft despite all that had just happened.  
“You’re amazing,” I told him.  
“No you are,” He smiled.  
“I’m so glad we’re here together,” I said. “I couldn’t imagine what this competition would be like without you.”  
“Let's hope I don’t go home on the next episode then,” Vanjie sighed.  
“There’s no way,” I assured him. “You slipped up one time. Other than that you’ve been doing amazing.”  
“Whatever you say, baby. I’m just glad it’s the weekend so we can just spend two whole days alone together,” He laughed, laying his head on my chest. I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.


	5. Movie trip

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
I opened my eyes as the sunlight poured into the room. I smiled, noticing that I was still holding Vanjie in my arms. I planted a kiss on his forehead softly. I gently drug my fingers from his elbow up to his cheek, resting my hand there. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he looks when he’s asleep. It’s the first time I’ve seen it, and I’m glad it won’t be the last time. He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw me.  
“Good morning, baby,” I said sweetly.  
He leaned in and kissed me. “Good morning.”  
“We’re still going to see each other all the time after we get out of here, right?” I asked. “Even though we live states away from each other.”  
“Don’t even worry about that, babe,” He took my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Florida to Tennessee isn’t that bad of a drive.”  
“If you say so,” I laughed.  
“How long is it?” He asked smugly.  
“Tampa to Nashville?” I said. “Ten hours,”   
He sighed. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”  
Vanjie sat up on the bed and climbed off the opposite side. “I’ll be right back,” He said before walking to the bathroom. I sat up and waited patiently for him, combing my hand through my short hair.  
“I really should’ve peed before we went to sleep last night,” Vanjie said as he walked back into the room. “I felt like I was refilling the ocean just now, bitch.”  
I laughed, clapping my hands. “How’s your ass feeling after last night?”  
“Shut up,” Vanjie smirked, sitting down on the bed. “You know damn well I’m sore as hell.”  
“Well considering we fucked two nights in a row and I wasn’t exactly going easy on you either time, you should be sore,” I laughed. He rolled his eyes as he cuddled back up to me. I put my arms around him, pulling him close to my body. He wrapped his arms around me as well, laying his head on my shoulder.  
“Do you remember why I started calling you Papi?” I asked resting my head against his.  
“Yeah,” He laughed. “I said it’s funny when guys call me Papi because I’m obviously a bottom, then you started saying it too.”  
“You know you like it.” I replied, smiling.   
“It makes me feel like a sexy latino.” He said.   
I kissed the top of his head. “You are a sexy latino.”  
Vanjie looked up at me and smiled. “Oh, don’t start with me.”  
“What do you think the next challenge will be?” I wondered aloud.  
“I don’t know, but I hope they put us in teams and we get to be together,” He said.  
“So you can get me sent home?” I asked jokingly.  
Vanjie rolled his eyes and playfully slapped my arm. “No, so I can see your pretty face the whole challenge. Come on, I thought you said I was doing good!”  
“You are, Papi,” I kissed his lips softly. “I promise.”  
“I wish there was something we could do other than just lay in bed and watch TV,” He sighed.  
“I can’t wait to get out of these hotel rooms and go home,” I said.  
“Then we can go on cute little dates and shit,” He smiled. I kissed him again, moving my hand to his stomach.  
“No one gets to see any of this in the workroom, but your abs are godly,” I said, looking into his eyes.  
He blushed deeply. “Stop it.”  
“I’m serious, babe,” I smiled. “You’re super hot. Period.”  
“Do you think about it every second of every day?” He asked with a smirk.  
“Yes, I do,” I laughed. Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door. He quickly got up and went back to his own room, grabbing his clothes and closing both connecting doors behind him. I got up as well, throwing some clothes on before going over to answer the door.  
“Oh hi, Angela.” I said smiling as I opened the door.  
She smiled back. “We’re taking everyone out to see a movie if you and Vanjie wanna come.”  
“Yeah, for sure,” I said. “However, he ran back to his own room as soon as he heard you knock, so you might have to go get him yourself.”  
Angela laughed. “I’ll go get him then.”  
I closed the door and went over to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up in the mirror, washing my face and neck. Then, I brushed my hair. I figured that should make presentable enough to go out with everyone. I ran to the door, opening it to find Vanjie waiting for me outside. I smiled as soon as I saw him. He grabbed my hand and we walked to the van together.   
“I’m glad we get to leave the room for a little while,” I said, squeezing his hand gently as we reached the van.  
“Me too, baby,” He said. He let go of my hand so he could climb into the van, and I quickly climbed in beside him. I put my arm around him, as if my body’s instinct was to cuddle with him. He scooted as close to me as he could without sitting on my lap, laying his head on my shoulder.  
“Hoemance,” Ariel giggled from behind me. I lifted up my free hand and flipped him off. I thought it was kinda funny how everyone was so drawn to my relationship with Vanjie. They were all so dick deprived from being locked up in the hotel that they were watching us closely as if they were watching a soap opera. I played with Vanjie’s hair softly, drowning everyone out as if we were the only two there.   
“What movie are we seeing?” Nina asked.  
“Incredibles 2,” Angela said from the front seat.   
“Oh, that sounds fun,” I said. “It’s been years since I’ve seen the first one.”  
We pulled up to the movie theater and everyone got out of the van. While the production assistants were paying for everything, all of us queens just hung out in the lobby. I pulled Vanjie into a gentle hug, just enjoying the feeling of having him in my arms. He lay his head on my chest.  
“I’m so lucky that I have you,” I said softly.  
“Trust me, I’m the lucky one,” He said.   
I gently stroked his hair and smiled. “Yeah cause that’s why all the other queens tell me good job getting the hottest guy in here.”  
“Shut up,” He laughed. I’ll never understand why he’s so insecure about the way he looks. He really is a gorgeous man, but he has never understood why other people think so. Fans think he’s so loud and confident, but that isn’t true at all.  
The production assistants came inside and directed us to the theater we’d be watching in. We piled in and sat down, me next to Vanjie of course. I was on the end and Nina was on the other side of Vanjie. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. The movie started and I turned my attention to the screen.  
“Wait, super heros are illegal? I don’t remember that being in the first movie,” Vanjie hissed after a few minutes.  
“Guess so,” I said, eyes not leaving the screen. Vanjie mindlessly rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand as we watched. He laughed when Jack-Jack slapped the dad when he fell asleep. I looked over at him and smiled, admiring how cute he was when he laughed. I kissed him on the cheek and he blushed. It’s kind of insane to think he hasn’t caused me to slip up in the competition yet. He’s so distracting to me.   
“Ooooh that’s a big ol butch lesbian.” He said as Elastigirl started talking to Brick.  
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You have to be quiet, babe.”  
“Sorry,” He laughed. “Oh! That baby is bad!”  
A bunch of people shushed him and I sighed. He sank down in his seat, clearly embarrassed. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arm around him.  
“It’s okay, baby,” I said, holding his head against my chest. He put his arm around my waist and relaxed. I held him there until the end of the movie. When the movie was over, I let go and he sat up. We all started getting up and leaving the theater. I noticed Vanjie was really quiet as we walked back to the van.  
“You good, babe?” I asked. He just nodded.  
“Well, I thought your commentary was hilarious.” I said, gently nudging his arm. That made him smile.  
“I’m sorry,” He said as we climbed into the van.  
I frowned in confusion. “For what?”  
“Causing a scene in the movie theater,” He said, sitting down. I climbed in and sat down beside him.  
“Oh, hush,” I said. “You were just being your normal authentic self.”  
“Other people don’t tend to like that,” He sighed.  
“Babe, look at me,” I said, turning his head to face me. “You’re not afraid of being yourself, no matter how loud and crazy you are, and that’s one of the things I like about you. Don’t change yourself for other people. Ever.”  
“I’m sorry I-” He started, but I interrupted, taking his face into my hands.  
“Stop apologizing, sweetheart,” I told him. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”  
He looked into my eyes and smiled. “You are too damn good to me.”


	6. The first fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke thinks back on some things that were said after the last elimination.

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
Vanjie and I were sitting up in my bed watching TV. It was Sunday, so we were trying to enjoy having this whole day alone together before we had to go back to the competition. Thoughts of what happened right after the last elimination buzzed around in my head.  
“Babe?” I asked, turning my head towards him. One memory in particular was bothering me.  
He kept his eyes glued on the TV. “Yeah?”  
“Remember after the last elimination when we came back into the workroom and you said I’m a good friend?” I asked.  
He paused and turned his head. “Yeah?”  
“Why didn’t you just say we’re together?” I shifted my body so that I was facing him. “We already told Akeria and Ariel. Plus, everyone saw us kiss multiple times.”  
“I don’t wanna talk about it on camera,” He crossed his arms. “You didn’t do much better. You just said I’m cute and we’re getting to know each other.”  
“Well, it would’ve been weird to say we’re dating after you just sat there and said we’re just friends,” I replied, crossing my arms.  
“But then I kissed you!” He fired back.  
“That doesn’t change you saying we’re friends,” I huffed.  
He frowned. “I even said I didn’t wanna go home with you being here.”  
“I keep trying to convince myself that you’re not ashamed of us,” I said, forcing back tears. “It’s hard to do that when you pretend we aren’t together whenever there’s other people around. Everyone has seen us kissing, they know what’s going on. I want to be able to proudly say you’re mine.”  
“I’m just gonna go,” Vanjie said, leaving the bed and walking across the room.  
“Why?” I asked, standing up myself.  
“I just don’t wanna talk about this right now,” He said. I wanted to chase after him and beg him not to leave, but I didn’t. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t make myself move. I curled my arms around myself, watching as he walked over to the connecting door, leaving me alone in silence.  
I sat down on my bed hard, staring blankly ahead. I just wanted to know why he was pretending we weren’t dating. I leaned over and held my face in my hands. I didn’t know what to do other than sit here and let all the tears out.   
A couple hours passed without even a sound from Vanjie. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and walked over to the connecting door to our rooms. My side was still open, but Vanjie’s was closed. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Nothing.  
“Baby, please,” I begged as I continued knocking. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”  
Vanjie opened the door, eyes red and puffy from crying. I pulled him into my arms, hugging him tightly.  
“I’m sorry,” I said, tears still rolling down my face. “I felt what it was like to be without you and I hated it.”  
“I’m mad at myself, not you,” He said when we pulled away. “I shouldn’t be acting the way I have been in the workroom. I don’t want to go home anytime soon. Yes, I want to win, but I also want to be here with you.”  
I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. The way our lips moved together said ‘I missed you’ in every way. I couldn’t believe we’d actually had our first fight already.  
“Please just try to be more careful about what you say,” I said quietly as we broke the kiss. “It really hurt my feelings that you told everyone we’re good friends.”  
“I promise I will,” He said. “I wouldn’t want to do anything that would hurt you.”  
“Come on, Papi.” I smirked and grabbed his hand. “We need to go make up for those hours we missed.”  
“Thank god,” He laughed. I pulled him over to the bed and gently pushed him down onto it. I climbed on top of him and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I leaned down so I could whisper in his ear.  
“I missed you, baby.” I gently pulled on is earlobe with my teeth, making him shudder. I moved my mouth to his neck and he moaned quietly.  
“I always love seeing what sounds I can get out of you,” I said. He moaned again in response, moving his hips to try creating friction between us.   
“Please,” He begged. I loved it when he begged for me. I knew he couldn’t stand to wait because it would drive him crazy.  
“Papi, we’re still fully clothed,” I laughed.  
“I need you,” He said quietly. Hearing him beg like that made me so hard. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning.   
“Get out of those clothes then,” I said in a demanding tone. I sat up to give him room to undress and he quickly rose. I chuckled, watching him undress as if his clothes were on fire.  
“So needy,” I laughed. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Then he kissed me feverishly, wrapping his arms around my neck.  
“Pants off, please.” He said, breaking the kiss.  
“Hey, I’m the one making the demands around here,” I hissed. He inhaled sharply and a shrill whine escaped his throat. I smirked, knowing exactly how to drive him crazy. I roughly pushed him onto his back again, moving down his body so I could give his dick some attention. With one hand on his chest holding him down, I took his dick in my other and blew on it softly. He bucked his hips upwards and I pulled my head back.  
“I don’t even know why you tried that,” I laughed. “I wasn’t just going to open my mouth for you.”  
“Stop teasing,” He grunted.   
“You don’t get the satisfaction of getting fucked right away,” I said. “You’ve been bad.”  
He tried to buck his hips again so I put one hand on each thigh, pinning him to the bed. I leaned over and blew on his dick softly again. It twitched and he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.  
“Are you gonna be good now?” I asked. He nodded.  
“You should know by now that nodding isn’t the right answer,” I told him.  
“Yes,” He said. “I’ll be good, I promise.”  
“Yes, what?” I asked.  
“Yes, daddy,” He whimpered.  
I smirked and let go of his thighs. “Good boy.”  
I moved up his body, leaving a trail of kisses along his abs and chest. When I reached his lips, he grabbed my face in his hands as we kissed. I pulled back and sat up slightly. I grabbed my dick and slowly pushed into him, looking into his eyes the whole time. I leaned over so I could grab his hands, and I placed them over his head, lacing our fingers together. I started moving my hips, setting a slow pace.   
“I thought you were supposed to be punishing me,” He smirked. I thrust really hard one time, making him moan loudly in surprise.  
“I am,” I laughed. I gradually picked up the pace and Vanjie squeezed my hands, moaning softly.  
“Touch me,” He breathed heavily. “Please.”  
I let go of one of his hands, reaching down to stroke his dick. Soon, he was shooting cum across his chest, nearly reaching his neck. I slowed down, finishing shortly after he did. I leaned down and kissed him, both of us completely exhausted.   
“I need a shower,” I said, pulling out once I caught my breath. ”Since we have to get up early for filming and all.” I cleared my throat. “You gonna join me?”  
“Yup,” He said. “Give me a minute.”  
~~~  
I put my arm around Vanjie’s shoulder as we lined up to walk into the workroom. I felt very excited this morning. Vanjie and I had discussed more about our argument and he said that a big reason he was so scared is because he felt like such a failure when he went home first and it made him terrified to go home again for any reason. I managed to convince him that he’s been doing so well in the competition that he doesn’t have any reason to fear going home this early. After a while of talking, he said that he wanted to be more open about our relationship to the other queens. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face ever since he said so. Vanjie and I were last into the workroom, my arm around him proudly as we walked in.  
“I think we have a couple name for you guys,” Nina said as we all sat down at the table.  
“Oh yeah?” Yvie asked.  
“Okay what is it?” I asked with a smile, leaning down to put my elbows on the table.   
“Branjie,” Nina said. Everyone repeated in a way that mocked the way Vanjie had said his name when he exited on the first episode of season 10. Plastique put hands on my shoulders as he said it, and I laughed at everyone. As Plastique let go of me, Vanjie moved over slightly so that he was standing behind me, and he put his arms around both of us. He then moved back over to where he’d been standing behind Shuga. Plastique put his arm around my waist and I began to wonder why he was all over me all of a sudden. Plastique and I are good friends, but he’s not Vanjie.  
“What about the other couple?” Silky asked. “My man left me, but I’m working on another one.”  
It was only then that I noticed Nina had been standing behind Silky the whole time, running his hand up and down the fur that was on his shoulders.  
“Who is your next man?” I asked. Silky turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder at Nina. Nina then leaned over and kissed Silky on the lips. We all screamed excitedly and Plastique put his hand on top of mine. I was really starting to wonder what was going on with him. Nina put his arm around Silky’s shoulder and rested his head against Silky’s. As the screaming died down, Plastique covered his face with his hands and leaned his head against Vanjie’s shoulder, who was now standing behind me again.   
“I’ve got to give it to ya, honey,” Silky said, turning his body towards Nina and taking off his fur coat. “Hold on.”  
Nina’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”  
“I wanna see tongue!” Vanjie screamed over my head.  
They leaned in again and Nina stuck his tongue out slightly as if he was going in for a French kiss, but then he laughed and pulled away. All I could hear was Vanjie screaming over my shoulder.  
Then, we heard the siren and headed over to see what our mini challenge would be this episode. When we reached the TV screen, I put my arm around Vanjie’s shoulder and he grabbed my hand, holding it in place. He then wound his free arm around my waist. I glanced over and noticed Nina had his arm around Silky as well. I couldn’t tell if they were making fun of us or if they actually had something going on.  
RuPaul came out and we gathered around closer to where he was standing. He told us that we would be doing a photoshoot where we would be turning ourselves into living dolls. Trixie Mattel came out and RuPaul informed us that we had 20 minutes to get ready. We all took off running to our stations.   
I threw on a short red dress and a veil. My goal for my mini challenge look was to look like a drunk bachelorette. I think I did well portraying the character I was aiming for, so hopefully RuPaul agrees. I got to see Vanjie before he went in, and I laughed as I saw what he was wearing. He had on a dress made of pink tulle and he was carrying around two pink suitcases. I think he’ll do well in the photoshoot.   
“This look is hot,” I laughed.  
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, go away.”  
Looking around at everyone, I figured Rajah probably did the best. Apparently, I was right because he ended up winning.  
After the mini challenge, RuPaul told us we were doing a halloween ball. While listening to the descriptions of the three challenges, I wondered how some of the girls would do. Especially the glamour queens like Ariel and Plastique. I walked over to my station so I could get out of my quick drag and plan out my looks.


	7. This angel's got a secret and it's MISS VANJIE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke isn't confident for the first time in the history of ever and it worries Vanjie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha I'm sorry, I love that quote too much not to make it the title of this chapter

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
When I was fully out of my mini challenge look, I threw on my grey sweatpants and beanie. No shirt. I decided to go check on Vanjie and see how he was doing.   
“How you doing, boo?” I asked, hugging him from behind and resting my head on his shoulder. He was shirtless too, and his skin was warm against mine.  
“Good,” He said, not taking his eyes away from his work.  
“What kind of monster are you?” I asked.  
He pointed to a piece of paper on the table and slid it towards me. “I drew it out here.”  
I picked up the paper and looked over it.  
“I’m gonna do it longer,” He explained. “I was gonna do it short, but I’m doing it longer.”  
“Cute,”I said. I could tell he was very focused, so I walked back over to my own work station and put on the shirt I’d been wearing when we walked in that morning. As I was sewing one of my outfits, RuPaul came over to me.  
“Well, hello, Brooke Lynn Hytes,” He said excitedly.  
“Hi, Ru,” I smiled, sitting up straight.  
“Where does your design aesthetic come from?” He asked.   
“All over,” I explained. “I just know what looks good on my body and I know what I like to wear, so I always start there.”  
“When did you find that out?” He asked. I felt a little like I was being interrogated, and it was a little intimidating.  
I hesitated a second before answering. “Probably a couple years ago?”  
“Just a couple years ago?” His voice pitched. Now I really feel intimidated..  
“Yeah,” I said. “I only started sewing probably a year and half ago.”  
“And so when I say a sexy monster,” He moved on. “What’s the first thing that comes to mind?”  
“I actually don’t watch a lot of scary movies,” I admitted. “So the first thing that came to my mind was I wanna be a sexy pageant queen.”  
RuPaul’s facial expression changed and I could tell he wasn’t pleased with my answer. I saw a couple of the others, including Vanjie, look over from across the room, so I knew I had to try and save the conversation.  
“But I want to be a first runner up who never wins.” I quickly added. “So she scalps all the other winners and makes her own crown out of their heads.”  
“Okay,” Rupaul said, and I could see by the glassy look on his face that he was not impressed. Fuck.  
“So, you know...” He said, stuttering a little as he struggled to think of a response. “That’s an interesting choice.”  
With that, he walked away and left me standing alone again. That made me extremely nervous. I shifted in my seat as I tried to think of a new concept I could go with for the outfit. Going home was the last thing I wanted.  
After a while, I just needed to step away and take a break from my work. I walked over to Vanjie, who was standing by the couch. As I was making my way towards him, he looked over and puckered his lips at me, indicating that he wanted me to come kiss him. I leaned over the arm of the couch, kissing him softly.  
“What you making, hoe?” Silky asked as I turned around.  
“I’m doing…” I trailed off, trying to think of how to explain it.  
“I heard something about first runner up or something.” Akeria chimed in.  
“I was gonna do that,” I said nervously, turning away from them and scratching the back of my neck. ”And then I was like, I don’t like that idea anymore”  
“So now what you thinking?” Akeria asked.  
“I think I’m gonna do this snake wrapped around me,” I put the snake around my neck. “Like I know what I wanna do, but I don’t know how to, like…”  
“Monster it up?” He asked, finishing my statement.  
“What makes that a monster?” I asked my reflection..  
“You’ve only got one snake?” He asked.  
“Yeah.” I sighed and took off my shirt. I noticed Vanjie looking at me with a worried expression, which made me even more nervous. Leaving him here alone this early in the competition would be devastating.  
I put on the rest of the outfit and turned to Shuga. “Do you think it’s monstery enough?”  
“It’s very glamour,” He said.  
“This is gonna be cute when you figure out, like, what it’s gonna be,” He added. I kept trying to piece things together in the mirror, trying to make it look more like a monster.  
After we all took a short break, I walked back into the workroom with my arm around Vanjie.  
“Gimme a kiss,” Vanjie said as we were walking towards our workstations. I leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the lips before we went our separate ways.   
“Miss Branjie,” Scarlet said from her table, which made me laugh.  
When it came time to hit the runway, and I was finally feeling more confident in my three looks. I started to feel confident in how Vanjie would do as well as I saw him walk to his place in line looking like a Victoria’s Secret angel. His costume had the giant wings and everything. I was living for it, and even thought it was kinda hot.  
My first look was a sexy ballerina mummy. To emphasize to the judges that my mummy was a ballerina, I walked the runway on point the entire time. I felt so confident in this look. It was a great feeling for me to be able to combine my two passions, dance and drag, into one runway look.  
I quickly changed into my second outfit and prepared to walk the runway again. For that look, I decided to take inspiration from the Enchantress from the movie Suicide Squad. I took a deep breath and walked down the runway, being as animated with my characterization of her as possible. I hoped that would really sell it to the judges.  
Finally, the look I’d been struggling with the most. I’d managed to pull together an outfit inspired by a black widow, which featured a black form-fitting gown, a ton of tulle, and that snake I’d been carrying around. I was sure the judges could see that I was telling the story of a woman who’d gotten rich off of her many dead husbands.  
On the runway during critique, I anxiously scoped out the competition. A sigh of relief escaped my body as RuPaul called Vanjie as safe. I smiled a little as I watched him leave the stage. From looking at his runway looks, I knew I had no reason to worry, yet I still felt a weight lifted off my chest knowing he was safe. I was even more relieved to hear positive comments from the judges about all three of my looks. The actress who played the Enchantress in Suicide Squad was even a guest judge, and she totally got the reference in my outfit!  
I strolled into Untucked feeling great. I wasn’t sure I would win, but it was definitely a possibility. Ariel, on the other hand, was very distressed. I heard his critique, and knew he was almost definitely lip syncing. He knew it too and it really shook him up. I listened to him talk about their negative comments on his third look, his voice tight. I felt this ache in my chest for my sister, and I wanted to help but I didn’t know what to say to him.  
At least Vanjie tried to say something when I couldn’t. “Look, when I saw, I was thinking,” he said. “It’s really pretty and it’s very her, I just don’t know if they’re gonna say, you know…”  
Ariel’s worrying made me think back to how much of an issue I was originally having with my outfit. As hard as I’d struggled, I still couldn’t imagine being in his position.  
Back on the main stage, I was absolutely thrilled to find out I had my second challenge win of the season. I think it felt even better knowing the struggle I went through with it. Unfortunately, my friends Ariel and Shuga were in the bottom two. Ariel was actually doing pretty well until -- I gasped as Ariel fell. He didn’t just stumble. He fell. Hard. Like, did a whole flip and nearly fell off the stage. Somehow I knew that meant it was over for him and he’d be the one going home. He was so shaken by it, he couldn’t recover. RuPaul decided to send Ariel home. I felt myself deflate. The sadness on his face… it hurt to watch.Ariel had always been really nice to me. I’d miss him teasing me and Vanjie about our relationship.  
“I can’t believe that she fell...” I told Vanjie as we walked to the van hand-in-hand.   
“It looked like it hurt,” Vanjie said quietly. We climbed into the van and sat down.  
After some respectful silence, a happier image popped into my head and I laughed.“Okay, but, can we talk about your Victoria’s Secret Angel look?”   
“Oh, did you like it?” He smirked.  
I took his hand in mine and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “It was really hot.”  
“What did you like about it?” He purred.   
“Those sexy thigh high stockings,” I whispered, letting go of his hand and running my fingers up his thigh. “Paired with that corset that shows off your perfect ass. I was drooling, Papi.”  
Vanjie bit his lip hard and shifted in his seat.   
I loved watching what I did to him.  
“Too bad we’re around all these people, huh?” I teased, resting my hand on his inner thigh. Before he had a chance to respond, we arrived at the hotel and I quickly hopped out of the van. A soft whimper escaped Vanjie’s lips as I bounced away from him. I smirked victoriously, knowing he’d be begging for me later. He decided to wait until everyone else got out of the van to follow.  
I stepped into my hotel room and sat down on the bed. I laid back on the bed and waited for Vanjie. Right on cue, he stumbled through the doorway.  
“You are such a fucking tease,” He growled, walking over and crawling across the bed towards me.  
“So are you for even wearing that look on the runway,” I smiled. He sighed and flopped down beside me, laying so that it he faced me.  
“You drive me crazy.” He shook his head then leaned up to kiss me on the lips. It’s just one for now, but I feel the hunger radiating off of him.  
“I know,” I smirked. “That's why I do the things I do.”  
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked. His fingers were already curling through my hair, cradling my head. “You just seemed really out of your element in the workroom today.”  
“Oh you come running in here like you need me, then you’re suddenly worried about my emotional state?” He looked away, pursing his lips. “I’m kidding, babe. Yeah, Ru just freaked me out with his interrogation of my design.”  
“Good,” He put his hand on my cheek, leaning in for another kiss. It was soft, caring kiss, and it was the first time since we’d met that a kiss had felt like that.  
“I… I’m confused.” I said, looking into his eyes.  
He smiled. “What?”  
“What changed in you all of a sudden?” I asked.  
“Nothing,” He laughed. “I’m still me. I just realized that even though we’re all trapped in these hotel rooms and sexual tensions are high, that’s not all I want from you. Yeah, it’s amazing and everything, but so are you as a person.”  
I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t realized how caught up we’d gotten in ripping each other’s clothes off every night.  
“What I’m tryna say is, I really like you and I don’t want us to be some little fling that ends as soon as one of us goes home.” He said, looking into my eyes.  
“I don’t want that either,” I took his hand in mine. “You’re all I think about all day in the workroom. I have to force myself to focus on the challenges because I just want to be by your side.”  
“I’m glad you convinced me to be more open about our relationship,” He smiled. “It feels like there is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.”  
“Me too,” I said. “That means no one else will try to make a claim on you.”  
He laughed. “You really think I’d let anyone try?”  
“I don’t know,” I teased.   
“Of course not!” He playfully hit my arm. “I’m only looking at you, baby.”  
I kissed him, our lips moving together slowly. I put my hand on his hips, pulling him closer to me.  
“Everytime we kiss it reminds me why I wanted to date you in the first place.” I smiled, resting my forehead against his. “I could've easily decided I just wanted sex from you, but I started getting to know you and realized you're actually this kind, sweet, amazing guy. That's when I knew I wanted to be with you as long as you'll let me.”  
Vanjie blushed deeply. “Shut up with that cute shit and just kiss me.”   
I rolled my eyes playfully and returned my lips to his. As we kissed, I just thought about how nice it was to have him in my life. I never imagined that it was possible to fall for someone after only knowing them for two weeks. However, I couldn’t deny that it’d happened between me and Vanjie. After a while, we broke the kiss and he lay his head on my chest. I closed my eyes, and sleep quickly overtook me.


	8. Chapter 8

Brooke Lynn’s POV  
The next morning in the workroom, there was a lot of tension between Yvie and Silky. I walked in with my arm around Vanjie, just like I did when we filmed the previous episode. Yvie and Silky started arguing as soon as we got to the table to wait on the mini challenge. Vanjie leaned over the table to listen in, and I stood beside him with my hand on his back. I tried to drown out the sound of the argument so I could mentally prepare myself for whatever RuPaul was about to throw at us next. Finally, the siren sounded and cut off the argument.  
“Thank god!” Vanjie screamed. We quickly walked over to the screen to listen to our message from RuPaul. I stood behind Vanjie with my arm thrown over his shoulder. He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers, and put his other hand over mine. I couldn’t have pulled away from him even if I wanted to, but I didn’t mind at all.  
When RuPaul came through the door, we all moved over to where he was standing. I tried to pull my arm away from Vanjie so I could move faster, but he grabbed onto my wrist tightly with both hands. We had to kinda just side-step over to where we were supposed to be standing. I smiled, finding it cute that he didn’t want me to leave his side even for a second.  
At some point, while RuPaul was describing the mini-challenge, Vanjie let go of my arm and I let it fall to my side, stepping away to stand beside him. I wasn’t really sure why he’d suddenly released me, but I thought maybe it had something to do with him being afraid of RuPaul finding out about our relationship. Despite the fact we’d worked towards being much more open about it to the other queens, we were still terrified of RuPaul.  
As with every mini challenge so far this season, we were sent off with 15 minutes to get into quick drag. This time, RuPaul asked us to get into workout drag for some kind of exercise challenge. I went over to my workstation and pulled out a pink and purple windbreaker jacket and a hot pink bodysuit. I threw them on quickly, adding a purple sweatband on my forehead. Then, I rushed through some quick makeup and threw on a wig. I looked over at Vanjie to see what he was wearing. I couldn’t help but laugh at him in a purple sports bra and leggings with a jacket around his waist. I’d never seen him wear anything like that before. And his makeup… don’t even get me started. I love Vanjie, but his quick drag makeup is never cute nor is it fishy. I wanted to tease him about it, but I knew now just wasn’t the time.  
The exercising with guest Connie Love began and I tried my best to keep up with what we were doing. It was kind of fun, honestly. I had to move my sweatband up to my wig because it kept falling in my face. Eventually, I had to throw my jacket off too because it was in my way. Being in the front allowed me to be seen by RuPaul, but I wished I could’ve been in the back so I could watch Vanjie. I was sure whatever he was doing was hilarious. He has always given his all and more.  
I clapped and cheered for Scarlet and Yvie while they did their wildest moves for their solos. I was super excited when it was finally my turn to do a solo. I was like a graceful cheerleader, doing high kicks so high that I was close to kicking myself in the face. I was really enjoying the fun of it all.  
Plastique’s solo came around and he immediately went from a high kick into a split, making RuPaul gasp. After rolling on the floor a bit, he then dropped into a death drop. We all cheered excitedly. I knew that would be hard to beat in RuPaul’s eyes. He loves stunts.  
Next up was Vanjie. I was excited to see what he would do.  
“This is not gonna make me look masculine, right?” Vanjie asked when Connie instructed him to do arm curls.  
“No, but your face will!” She retorted. I burst out laughing, unable to restrain myself. He then dropped into a death drop of his own and when he rolled over, his wig came off. That didn’t stop him though, He grabbed his wig and kept on rolling across the floor - twirling his wig over his head the whole way. That made me laugh even harder. There’s certainly never a dull moment with him around.  
Silky’s routine was as crazy as everything else he does. Somehow he ended up eating at the end, which was hysterical. This was probably the funniest mini challenge we’d done so far.  
Akeria and Plastique won the mini-challenge, which wasn’t a surprise to anyone. I wasn’t disappointed at all. It was too fun to care about winning it.  
RuPaul then announced that we’d be doing a drag version of the olympics. I was a little nervous because drag queens in high heels don’t tend to mix well with sports. Because Akeria and Plastique won the mini-challenge, they were the team captains. Akeria picked me first, which felt really good. No one wants to be last. His next pick was Silky, which gave me hope that I could end up on the same team as Vanjie considering Silky and Vanjie are Akeria’s best friends.  
“Vanjie,” Plastique called out when it was his turn again. My heart broke a little when I heard it. Just when I was beginning to think we’d get to spend time together during this challenge, we got separated yet again. I tried to just smile through it and laugh when Vanjie took off running to join their team. On the outside, I looked happy, but on the inside, I was frustrated and upset.  
After RuPaul left, I looked down the line at Vanjie. He looked very annoyed about being on Plastique’s team. Seeing who was on the team, I didn’t blame him. Akeria had taken all of the good dancers, leaving Plastique with Vanjie as his best dancer along with queens who were known in the competition for not being able to dance if their life depended on it.  
I took my time getting out of my quick drag. I wasn’t ready to be separated from Vanjie for the rest of the day. I sighed as I finished, throwing away my makeup wipe. I moved over to the chairs where the rest of my team was slowly gathering to discuss the challenge. I was a little worried about our team. Not because of who Akeria had picked, but because Yvie and Silky had argued both after Ariel’s elimination and this morning in the workroom. I pulled my legs up into the chair and sat cross-legged.  
“Now, are you two going to be okay working together?” I asked, gesturing towards them as I scooted back onto the table behind me, spreading my legs out in front of me. “It got a little heated this morning.”  
Neither of them said anything, so Akeria spoke up. “We have to address this issue because at this point in time, we are a team and we’re all on a mission.”  
“I can put all my personal things aside,” Silky replied. “This is work for me, so it’s like I’m coming into work.”  
Yvie nodded his head in agreement. I waited for any other responses, but none came. I figured that meant it was settled.  
“Okay, I just wanted to check we’re not gonna have any issues,” I said, feeling relieved.  
“Yeah, cause there’s five of us,” Akeria chimed in. “And I can hear what everyone is saying as if they want to be the number one or the top three. That’s what’s gonna get us through this.”  
We took a little more time to practice and we taught each other a few things before heading out to rehearse with the choreographers. When it was time to go, we quickly made our way to the main stage. Overall, the rehearsal went great. I got lots of praise from the choreographers. I felt pretty confident in myself with this choreography, and it was rewarding to hear that I was doing well. Akeria and Silky had some issues, but they managed to make things work for them. Shuga didn’t get many comments, so I figured he did well enough that he didn’t need to fix any major problems. The only issue Yvie had was the pain it caused him to do some of the dance phrases, but he assured the choreographers that he would be able to power through it. It worried me a little, but Yvie had done just fine during Trump The Rusical despite having a similar problem, so I wasn’t majorly stressed over it.  
I passed by Vanjie’s team in the hallway as we walked back towards the workroom. He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head in my chest.  
“I’ve missed you so much today,” He whispered.  
I smiled, wrapping my arms around him and holding his head against my chest. “I’ve missed you too.”  
We just stood there for a moment and enjoyed being in each other’s embrace. We were eventually interrupted by a production assistant telling his team it was there turn to head to the main stage.  
“Go get ready to kill this challenge so we can enjoy our weekend after it’s over,” I said, pulling away from him slightly.  
“I’m ‘bout to try, but you see who I got on this team,” He laughed. I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. I sighed as I watched him walk away with the others. I hope this challenge won’t be the one that sends him home.  
After rehearsal, we all got to head back to our rooms for the night. I closed my door behind me and waited for Vanjie to come over. Just as I sat down on the bed, he appeared in the doorway between our rooms.  
“How was rehearsal?” I asked him as he ambled over to where I was sitting.  
He let out a groan of frustration as he sat down. “I’m the best one on the team and everyone else can barely keep up with the choreography.”  
“Even if your teams end up in the bottom, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” I assured him.  
I put my arm around his shoulder and he lay his head on my lap. “I guess you’re right,” He sighed.“I’m also worried about the runway,” He said. “My gold look is another bodysuit, but there ain’t nothing I can do about that now.”  
“Surely if you kill the challenge they won’t put you in the bottom purely based on your runway, right?” I asked.  
“They might,” Vanjie sighed again.  
“Look at me,” I grabbed his jaw in my free hand, turning his head to face me. “Just get out of your head about the runway and focus on standing out in the challenge. Like you said, there’s nothing you can do about the runway now.”  
Tears escaped his chocolate brown eyes and rolled down his cheeks. “I’m just not ready to go home yet. Not without you.”  
“It breaks my heart to even think about being here without you,” I admitted, moving my hands to cup his cheeks. “But I know that means we both have to fight for our spots to be here. I use it as motivation to do my best in the challenges. You can too.”  
“I’m sorry,” He closed his eyes, tears still spilling out.  
I wiped his tears away gently with my thumbs. “Don’t apologize for being human. We all have emotions.”  
“Everything is riding on this challenge,” He said as he opened his eyes. “If I don’t fucking kill it, I’ll be in the bottom for sure.”  
“Well, let me see you practice it.” I let go of his cheeks.  
He stood up from the bed and walked over to a spot that had plenty of room for him to dance. I watched as he carefully went through his whole routine for me. Everything was sharp and precise. Just as I thought, he had nothing to worry about. When he was done, he looked to me for my reaction.  
“That was really good,” I smiled. “I told you that you’d be fine.”  
“You’re not lying, are you?” He said, blushing.  
I stood up and moved over to where he was standing. I put my hands on his hips, pulling him closer to me.  
“Not at all,” I whispered. I leaned in to kiss him and his arms found their way around my neck. I’m on the complete opposite side of the country from my house, but Vanjie feels like home. As long as he’s here with me, nothing else matters.  
~~~  
“Let’s walk in first today,” Vanjie smiled up at me as we stood waiting to enter the workroom.  
“Aye, lemme walk in with y’all,” Silky said. “Y’all not gonna take my screen time, bitch.”  
I laughed, putting my arm around him. “Of course you can join us.”  
“Hey, now, don’t forget about me,” Vanjie said, lifting my other arm and throwing it over his shoulder. I couldn’t help but laugh at his mock-jealousy. The three of us strolled in together.  
“Silky!” Vanjie called out, pushing my arm off of him. “Why’d you fart?”  
“You farted?!” I squealed, letting go of him. “Bitch!”  
“Nasty,” Vanjie laughed as we split up and headed to our own stations.  
As always, I tried to shut out everything around me so I could focus on getting into drag. I heard Vanjie and Silky talking across the room, so I looked up. Vanjie was sitting at his station crying, and Akeria and Silky had arms around him. I hated seeing Vanjie cry. It always made me really sad to see such a lively, happy person so distraught. I wanted nothing more in the world than to run over there and comfort him, but I knew I couldn’t. Moments like this make it hard to be in a relationship during a competition. Especially not knowing if we’re breaking rules by being together. There was always an internal battle inside me in the workroom between wanting to win and wanting to be with Vanjie.  
I was pulled away from my thoughts by Plastique asking me about how I started drag. I told him all about the drag ballet company I used to be in. Scarlet joined in as well, commenting that he’d heard of the company and had friends in it. It was nice to have a distraction from the stress of the challenge and my guilt over Vanjie’s emotional state.  
Soon it was time for the challenge. I confidently strode out into the arena with my team. I took a deep breath as the music started, and I did my best to stand out while still dancing sharply and accurately. It was a lot of fun getting to do something I’ve loved for so long. During the last runway, I couldn’t have imagined incorporating dance into drag in a bigger way than walking a catwalk in pointe shoes. This challenge was something I could’ve only dreamed of. It was made for me. I smiled brightly as we walked out of the area. We’d done an amazing job and I couldn’t have been prouder of my team.  
I watched nervously from behind the curtain as Vanjie’s team started performing. They didn’t do as badly as I expected, but Vanjie was certainly the star. He was much more high energy than the rest of his team and it was hard to pay attention to anyone else. Short performers usually have a harder time grabbing attention, but he was certainly the most memorable.  
Yvie had injured his ankle during the performance, so I gave him a piggyback ride during the closing ceremony dance. The judges found it funny, so it worked in our favour.  
Back in the workroom, I quickly changed into my gold runway. It was a simple, yet gorgeous gown that was very reminiscent of old Hollywood glamour. The feather boa on my arms, the cigarette holder, and the matching gold turban on my head brought the whole concept to life. I felt quite beautiful in the look.  
As expected, my team won the challenge. I cheered in excitement as Akeria was announced the challenge winner. I patted him on the back to congratulate him. He’d worked hard to lead us to a win, so it was well deserved.  
In the Untucked lounge, I sat down on the couch with a sigh. Despite our big win, I couldn’t help but worry about Vanjie. I listened quietly whilst Akeria and Silky talked to Yvie about his attitude. Yvie’s blunt responses were the last thing on my mind. I couldn’t wait for the other team to leave the stage so I could talk to Vanjie about his critiques. I chimed in to defend Yvie when I thought it was needed, but other than that I kept to myself.  
When that conversation died down, I suddenly remembered something I’d been hearing about in the workroom earlier in the day.  
“So, I know there seemed to be drama, between you and Plastique over Ariel’s wigs,” I said to Silky, curious about what happened.  
“The drama hasn’t really happened,” Silky explained. “I just heard there were some things said behind my back that came back to me.”  
“Oh,” I said, still confused.  
“So pretty much what had taken place was,” Akeria chimed in. “when Mercedes was eliminated, Ariel decided to take some of her wigs over there because there wasn’t enough room at her station.”  
“My suitcases are in near that station too,” Silky added.  
“When Ariel was eliminated,” Akeria continued. “We came back in and the station was still full of wigs, and she was already gone. So, a couple of the girls, including myself, grabbed a wig or two. It came back that Plastique said they were hers but it’s okay because the other girls needed them.”  
At that point, I zoned out because it became a much more heated conversation than I had intended for it to be. I just wanted to know what was going on, I didn’t intend to start a long drawn out rant about wigs left by a queen who was long gone at this point. Granted, she’d only been gone a few days, but in Drag Race time that was like months.  
Finally, the losing team entered the lounge. Vanjie stood behind me, placing his hand gently on my shoulder. One look and I could tell he was stressed out. More arguments ensued, first between Rajah and Scarlet, then between Silky and Plastique, so Vanjie and I decided to leave the couches.  
“Are you okay?” I asked as we reached the mirrors.  
“Not really,” He sighed. “Just as I expected, they said my runway was the same.”  
“What did they say about the challenge though?” I asked, leaning on the vanity next to him.  
“Well, they said I was the best on my team and I was memorable,” He said. “But Michelle said she knows what my runways are gonna be like at this point because they’re always the same. Then, she said she’s starting to get bored with me.”  
“Oh no, I’m sorry,” I pulled him into a hug.  
“I feel like I’m letting everyone down,” He cried into my chest.  
“No, you’re not,” I told him. “I’ve never been more proud of you than when I was standing backstage watching you murder this challenge.”  
“Really?” He asked, looking up at me.  
I pressed my lips against his, lingering there for a second. “Yes, really. You were amazing.”  
The lights went off and we looked around in confusion. I took his hand and pulled him back over to the couch. Sadly, that was right about the time when a production assistant told us it was time to go back to the main stage. I squeezed his hand once before walking away to get in my spot in line. All we could do at this point was just wait and hope he wouldn’t be in the bottom two.  
Thankfully, he wasn’t even in the bottom three. I let out a sigh of relief when RuPaul told him he was safe.  
Scarlet and Rajah had to lip sync, which I wasn’t surprised by at all. They were the clear weak links of their team. I was so glad when I was able to get back to the workroom and get out of drag. Watching someone you care deeply about, struggle to stay in the competition while simultaneously fighting for your own spot in the competition is so stressful. When I finished, I turned around to look for Vanjie. I wanted us to walked to the van together, but he was nowhere to be found.  
“Akeria, have you seen Vanjie?” I asked.  
“I think he’s already gone outside,” He replied, not even looking up from his mirror.  
I ran out into the hallway. I kept going until I finally spotting Vanjie opening the door to walk outside.  
“Vanjie!” I called down the hallway as I ran towards him. He turned around and paused in the doorway.  
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” I asked, a confused look on my face.  
As I reached the door, he stepped outside. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m tired.”  
“Vanjie, please,” I grabbed his arm, pulling him back towards me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“We have to go,” Vanjie replied softly. “I promise we can talk about it in the hotel room.”  
I sighed and let go of his arm. “Alright. Let’s go then.”  
The van-ride back to the hotel was pretty quiet. Vanjie fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, and everyone else was too mad about the events of Untucked to even talk. I just stared out the window, trying to think of all the possible things that could be wrong with Vanjie. It was confusing to me, how he’d suddenly gotten so distant. I couldn’t think of anything I might’ve done to upset him.  
When I stepped into my hotel room and closed the door behind me, my chest was tight with anxiety. The van ride had given me just enough time to stress myself into a panic attack over whatever is going on with Vanjie. I paced the room nervously until he finally appeared in the doorway.  
“What are you doing?” He asked, still a little groggy from his nap in the van.  
“I’ve been waiting on you so we can talk about whatever is going on,” I said as I moved over to where he was standing.  
“I just…” He trailed off, looking at the floor. “I saw the way you looked at me in the mirror when I was crying today, and I can’t help but think I’m distracting you.”  
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I can multitask. Why is that bothering you so much?”  
“I can feel myself getting more and more attached to you every day,” He admitted. “I don’t know if you even feel the same way. The stress of feeling like this combined with being terrified of going home is hurting both of us. I’m afraid it’s gonna get one or both of us sent home.”  
“It might, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take for you,” I said, grabbing his hand. “Either way, I have never felt this way towards someone else. My feelings for you are stronger than I even knew was possible.”  
“Are you sure?” He asked.  
“Yes, I’m sure,” I laughed. “Otherwise, I would’ve decided weeks ago that the crown is more important than any man.”  
“If I were to go home next week, you wouldn’t hook up with anyone else?” He asked, looking up.  
“No,” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I promise that you’re the only man for me.”  
His sad expression was finally replaced with his signature smile. “You wanna prove that to me?”  
“Is that a challenge?” I laughed.  
“I just thought maybe you’d wanna help me de-stress a little,” He smirked, pulling me over to the bed. “Ya know since it’s the weekend and all.”  
I bit my lip. He looked up at me, eyes full of lust, and pressed his lips against mine. I roughly grabbed his hips and pulled him closer to me.  
I broke the kiss, pulling away slightly. “You sure this is what you want right now?”  
“I’ve whined about my problems enough,” He said. “I’d much rather get fucked.”  
I reconnected my lips to his, sliding my hands down to grab his ass. He moaned into the kiss, hips jerking forward to meet mine. I could feel how hard he was against me, which only made me harder in response. I pushed Vanjie down onto the bed and climbed on top of him.  
“You’re not gonna get me all worked up and then change your mind like you did last time, are you?” I joked.  
“I might if you keep on talking instead of touching me,” He laughed.  
I rolled my eyes and kissed his neck, quickly finding his hot spot. He whined at the feeling. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head before turning my attention back to kissing his neck. I slowly left a trail of kisses from his neck down to the edge of his shorts. He shivered as I ran my tongue up his abs.  
“So beautiful,” I growled. It amazed me how quickly he could go from the loud Vanjie everyone saw in the workroom to the squirming needy mess that lay beneath me. His eyes were closed now and he was gripping the sheets, waiting to be touched.  
I moved up to whisper in his ear. “Tell me what you want, baby.”  
“Anything,” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just need you.”  
“That’s not what I asked you, is it?” I looked into his eyes sternly.  
He bit his lip and shook his head. “No.”  
“Then be a good boy and tell me what you want,” I growled.  
“Touch me,” He whimpered. “Please.”  
I reached down into his shorts, stroking his dick slowly. “Like this, Papi?”  
“Yes,” He said, thrusting into my hand. I pulled away and he whimpered at the loss of touch. I took my shirt off, followed by my shorts. I slid Vanjie’s shorts off as well.  
“On your knees,” I commanded him as I sat up. He did as he was told, moving quickly.  
I moved around to position myself behind him. I ran a hand from his shoulder down to the small of his back, admiring his smooth skin. I used one hand to guide my dick in and I grabbed his ass with the other.  
“Don’t touch yourself or you’ll be in trouble,” I growled, leaning over so that my stomach was pressed against his back. “Understand?”  
“Yes, daddy,” He whined. “I’ll be good.”  
I thrust in and out slowly. I’d been waiting for days to make suffer him for the way he’d teased me. He pushed his hips back to meet mine, which prompted me to stop.  
“Is that not good enough for you?” I asked.  
“Faster, please,” He begged. I picked up the pace a little and he moaned in response. The way he was gripping the sheets told me it was taking all of his self-control not to touch himself, so I reached my hand around and stroked his dick in time with my thrusts. His whole body trembled beneath me and twitched in my hand. I rewarded his patience by thrusting into him harder and faster. I could feel him getting close as his body tensed, so I pulled my hand away.  
“Not yet,” I said before biting down on his shoulder. He whimpered but said nothing.  
I sat up and pulled out of him. “Lay on your back.”  
Again, he quickly obeyed. He panted heavily, looking distraught over his denied orgasm.  
“How bad do you need it?” I asked, running a finger down the length of his hard cock. His hips jerked upwards involuntarily.  
“Please, I need it so bad,” He panted, closing his eyes. I pushed my dick back into him slowly, quickly regained my previous pace. I took him in my hand and pumped furiously until his hot cum spilled out onto my hand and his stomach. I pulled out, feeling my own climax building quickly. I angled my hips upwards and stroked myself, cumming on his stomach with a deep moan.  
I flopped down beside him on the bed, completely exhausted. “I think that might’ve been the best one yet.”  
“No denying that,” He laughed softly.  
After a much-needed shower, we climbed into bed. I pulled Vanjie into my arms and kissed his forehead. He smiled and lay his head on my chest. At this point, I could never imagine being with anyone else. Vanjie is everything I’ve ever needed or wanted. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his shallow breathing until I fell asleep


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much happens in this chapter. Alyssa Edwards visits, Brooke makes a confession, and Untucked gets super heated.

Brooke Lynn’s POV

Another Monday morning meant another long week of filming. Our weekend had been very quiet, but not in a bad way. We'd spent the weekend enjoying each other's company rather than enjoying ripping each other's clothes off. I felt like I'd gotten the chance to know him a lot better, and it only made my feelings grow even stronger.

We ended up having a long talk this weekend about how afraid we were of being found out by RuPaul. Because we’d had our arms around each other two episodes in the row when he walked in for the mini challenge, we decided we needed to dial it back a little in the workroom. That lead us to the decision not to walk in together this time. I was a little sad, but I knew it was for the best.

I walked in with Nina, and Vanjie walked in front of us with Silky. Sadly, we ended up on opposite sides of the table from each other as well. I sighed and thought about how long of a day it would be without any interaction with Vanjie. When the siren sounded, we made our way over to the screen. As usual, I stood next to Vanjie, but this time was different. I didn’t throw my arm over his shoulder and he didn’t put his arm around my waist. We just stood there like everyone else. It almost drove me insane not to instinctively put my arm around him. I could tell Vanjie felt the same way because he was standing with one leg crossed over the other and his hands clasped in front of him.

RuPaul had us do the strangest mini challenge of probably any to ever be on the show. We had to get into quick drag and stuff our bras as big as we could. Then, we had to participate in a potato sack race in which the main goal was to make our boobs bounce as much as possible. I tried my best, but I really struggled to make mine bounce. By the end of the potato sack race, one of my silicone breast inserts had fallen out of the bottom of my bra, but there was barely any bounce. Thankfully. it didn’t matter because it was just a mini challenge.

When it was time to learn about the main challenge, RuPaul had the pit crew bring in two wheelbarrows full of organic materials such a burlap, pinecones, and beans. He explained to us that we were to make looks make from these materials. After getting out of my quick drag, I went over to the table to grab my materials. I ended up arriving there at the same time as Vanjie. His arm brushed against mine as he reached over me to grab some rope. I inhaled sharply, but I managed to push away the urge to interact with him in any way. I grabbed lots of denim and dried oranges before heading to my own workstation.

“I’m thinking of something like...really structured.” I explained to Plastique as he sat down next to me at my table. “What are you thinking of doing?”

“Probably a corset and have it where it shoots feathers.” He said, making hand gestures to show me how the feathers would point skyward out of the corset. “I have a lot of feathers.”

On the day Vanjie and I decided to be open with the other contestants about our relationship, Plastique was really clingy with me for some reason. I hadn't had the chance to ask him why, and I hadn't really thought about it much since. However, today he was suddenly very clingy again and I began to wonder why. He playfully stroked my face with a feather, which made me laugh.

“You’ll make it work,” I smiled, forcing my mind to return focus to the concept for his runway look.

“You’ve won both of the design challenges so far,” Plastique pointed out as he ran the feather across my face one last time. “But I’m not mad about it.”

“Just like you’re not mad about those wigs,” I retorted as he started to walk away. He stopped, a shocked and dumbfounded expression on his face. Then, he laughed and made his way over to his workstation. I couldn’t tell if Plastique was still bothered by the other girls taking some of the wigs Ariel left him, but I couldn’t think of anything else to pick on him for.

“I love you, I hope you win,” I laughed as I watched him leave. Yvie stepped past me as he was headed to the mirror, so I decided to ask him about his look.

“Have you figured yours out yet?” I asked.

He came over and leaned against my table, one hand on his hip. “Yeah! I’m gonna make the dress that Soju went home in, but right.”

I burst out laughing and took a few steps away from my workstation. Poor Soju didn’t stand a chance because her dress was a disaster due to the fact she can’t sew. I listened carefully as Yvie described his outfit idea, pushing all thoughts of Soju and her dress away. When Yvie left to go help Vanjie with something, I turned my attention back to making my denim outfit. After a conversation with Nina about his outfit, RuPaul came in the to check on everyone. I was first, of course.

“Brooke Lynn Hytes,” RuPaul called my name enthusiastically as he walked over to me.

“RuPaul,” I replied in the same tone, smiling,

“You’re known as a design queen,” He pointed out, “You’ve got a lot to live up to here.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s just so funny because back home I am not known for being a design queen at all. I’m known as the dancing queen.”

“Really?” He asked. “I’m surprised. I thought you would be a bigger personality, but you’re actually more subdued.”

“I am.” I replied simply. I saw Vanjie looking over at me from his workstation. “I’m not super loud and in your face. I’m like an introverted extrovert.”

After a few more random questions, he finally asked me the big question of the season. “Who do you think should go home?”

“Just speaking on what I’ve seen and who has been in the lowest category the most times,” I said, trying to phrase my answer in a way that wouldn’t upset either the queens or RuPaul. “I’m gonna go with Rajah.”

RuPaul seemed pleased with my answer, so he reminded me again to bring more personality and left to bother the next queen. I always felt as if these walkthroughs were more for intimidating us rather than helping us. I looked to Vanjie and he was still watching. He smiled, clearly happy with the conversation he’d overheard. I smiled back then turned back towards my outfit.

After a few more queens, RuPaul made his way over to Vanjie. I took a deep breath, hoping he’d have as good of a discussion with RuPaul as I had. I heard both of them laugh multiple times, which I knew must be a good sign. Then I heard that damn question again.

“Who should go home?” RuPaul asked him.

“Who is left?” He said, looking around the workroom. We made eye contact and I smiled brightly at him. The lack of interaction and physical contact was still torturing me, but it was nice to have that small moment. I heard Vanjie mention Yvie’s name and looked over to see his typical not bothered reaction. However, I knew that Yvie often used that look to cover his anger and frustration. Thankfully, RuPaul was happy enough with Vanjie’s answer to crack a couple jokes with him before leaving him alone. I had a feeling RuPaul wasn’t the one Vanjie would have to fear for that answer.

When RuPaul had finished questioning all of the queens, he asked us to gather around for an announcement. He told us we had a surprise waiting for us on the main stage. It was nice to take a break from the stress of the workroom. We all ambled onto the runway and saw someone standing down in front of it. The mystery guest turned around to reveal none other than the legendary Alyssa Edwards. He explained to us that he’d be giving us tips on how to walk down the runway.

“Alright, let’s start with Miss Vanjie,” He said. The rest of us filed off stage and sat down in the chairs that were neatly placed on the side for us. _This should be interesting_ , I thought. Vanjie came prancing out confidently and I cracked a smile. I loved seeing that personality I adored so much.

“I don’t walk slow like them other hoes,” Vanjie said, a devious smile on his face the whole time. “You know, I like to come through and be ghetto.”

“Now, hold on, Miss Vanjie,” Alyssa said. “That was too fast. I thought you were running from the cops.”

We all laughed, Vanjie’s thunderous cackle the loudest of all. “You probably have run from the cops, haven't you, Vanjie?” Alyssa asked, still laughing.

Vanjie went back to the starting point to give it another try. He strutted down the runway as sassy as I’ve ever seen him. He posed confidently at the end of the runway and Alyssa screamed her approval. I smiled, feeling proud of how well he was doing. As Vanjie walked off stage, my name was called to be next. I reached out and gently squeezed Vanjie’s hand as we passed each other.

“Oh, it’s serious and severe,” Alyssa commented as I strided down the runway like a model. I crossed my legs over each other and dramatically swung my hips from side to side. As I made my way down the runway, she praised my technique and mentioned that I’m obviously a dancer.

“Here’s a note for all of you,” She said when I’d finished. “Your personality is what every judge wants to see. Brooke, let’s do it again.”

I nodded and headed back to the starting point. I raised my outstretched arm to shoulder level and walked elegantly down the runway. I just let my body move naturally as I went, beaming with pride. Alyssa seemed pleased and I was allowed to leave the stage. I zoned out as the other girls had their turn, occasionally zoning back in to laugh when they did something funny. Vanjie shuffled around to different seats each time someone went up onto the runway, and soon the only person between us was Rajah. I shifted around in my chair, waiting impatiently for Rajah’s turn so I could be beside Vanjie. Finally, Vanjie slid into the chair beside me. I looked over at him with a smile and he grabbed my hand. We just watched quietly for most of the time. Silky was up to her usual shenanigans and we both laughed hard at her poses. He pulled his hand away, throwing both hands in the air playfully at Silky. I laughed, turning my head away and leaning back. My hand lightly brushed against his shoulder as I raised it to my face. I couldn’t wait to go back to our rooms for the night so I could touch his soft skin as much as I wanted.

Vanjie moved over to Plastique’s seat as he ran to the starting point, leaving me confused and a little frustrated. It was as if he was trying to make me miss him as much as possible during filming.

~~~

“This little country dance thing we’re doing is gonna be so fun!” Vanjie squealed, jumping up and down beside my bed. I laughed and reached out to grab his hand. I pulled him over to where I was sitting on the bed.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” I smiled, grabbing his other hand as well. “You did so well today with everything we had to do.”

He blushed and looked away. “Whatever. Don’t lie to me.”

“Why can’t you ever let me compliment you?” I laughed. Every time I’m romantic and cute with him, he gets all flustered. It’s kind of adorable and makes me even more infatuated with him. He let go of my hands and sat down beside me, leaning against my shoulder. I snaked my arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

“It’s complicated,” He sighed. “Don’t feel like you can’t though. It does make me feel better.”

My heart fluttered as I was surrounded by thoughts of how deep my feelings have become for Vanjie. I know I’ve only known him for a few weeks, but that feels like years when you’re so isolated from the world. Being in this competition made you lose all sense of time.

“Are you okay?” I heard him say. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down to see him looking back at me. His expression was one of concern.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to say…” I cleared my throat before speaking again. “But I’ve been afraid of scaring you away.”

“Did I do something-” He started. I shook my head and interrupted him before he could panic too much.

“I love you,” I blurted out. I looked into his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction.

“What?” He whispered. “I don’t understand.”

“I meant exactly what I said,” I said nervously. “I love you.”

Vanjie smiled brightly and leaned up to kiss me. “I love you too.”

“Really?” I asked, genuine surprise in my voice.

“Yes,” He giggled happily. “And hey, I’m not fragile. I’ve just had a really complicated history with relationships, but that doesn’t mean I want you to hide how you’re feeling, and it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

A sigh of relief escaped my body and I smiled. “Oh, thank god. I thought you’d feel weird about it and never want to speak to me again.”

“No, no, no.” He cooed. “I was just scared because I thought you were about to break up with me.”

“I could never.” I lifted my hand to his face and rubbed my thumb across his cheek. Something about that conversation was so freeing. It felt like a huge weight off my chest to finally tell him how I feel.

~~~

Vanjie and I pranced happily into the workroom together the next morning, no longer caring about what anyone thought about our relationship. We love each other and that’ll never change whether either of us gets the crown or not. Sure, we still wanted it, but we weren’t paralyzed in fear of being sent home for our relationship anymore. It wasn’t just some fling that would end as soon as one of us left, and as long as Vanjie and I knew that, nothing else really mattered.

We went our separate ways and I headed over to my workstation to get in drag for the runway. I was really calm as I put my makeup on. I had nothing in the world to worry about, not the challenge, not my outfit, and certainly not my relationship. Looking at Vanjie’s outfit he designed for the challenge, I knew I didn’t have to be worried about him being in the bottom. He’d changed up his silhouette for this challenge, and I was confident the judges would be pleased with it. He most likely wouldn’t be in the top, but it was enough for him to at least be safe.

As I predicted, Vanjie was safe. I smiled as I watched him leave the stage with Shuga and Silky. Even though I’d got used to being in the top by now, it still felt amazing to hear the judges tell me how much they liked my outfit. I especially loved hearing Ross saying I’d set a standard for myself that I was consistently exceeding every week. I was beyond grateful to be doing so well and to have such a great relationship forming behind the scenes. Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too.

When we arrived in Untucked, we were immediately asked what we thought our placements were. Nina stated that Plastique, Yvie and I were clearly in the top. This seemed to bother Silky a lot based on the annoyed expression on his face. Yvie called him out for it, which I’d seen coming ever since both Vanjie and Silky told RuPaul in the workroom yesterday that Yvie would be the one to go home this week. I sipped my drink and listened, knowing this was about to be a bumpy ride. A few angry back-and-forth comments later, Vanjie came over to defend Silky and stand between them. The argument between Silky and Yvie quickly escalated, Yvie getting more and more defensive as they talked. The whole time, I’d just been sipping on my drink and making sure I didn’t get involved. The last thing I needed was to get in between two fist fighting drag queens, or worse, get a punch or two thrown at me for trying to calm a heated argument.

Finally, a production assistant brought over a video message, which ended things for the moment. It was a really sweet message from Plastique’s boyfriend. Seeing that video made me even more thankful to have Vanjie here with me because I couldn’t imagine being away from him for this long to film a competition.

Just when I thought the drama was over, Rajah walked over and started going off on Plastique. I had no idea why it was happening. It just seemed like Rajah was upset about being in the bottom again and needed something, or rather someone, in this case, to direct his anger at. I leaned back into the couch and slid down slightly, trying to ignore whatever the fuck was happening. Suddenly, they went from Rajah yelling to the two of them hugging, and I was so confused. I sighed and shook my head.

“Brooke Lynn, what is it that you have to say?” Rajah asked.

“Y’all just need to get the fuck, like you need to get in what it is you have to say to each other,” I stuttered, struggling to get out the words through my annoyance and the slight buzz from the cocktail I’d been relying on to get me through this Untucked. “Cause this whole ‘I’m out of here, but now we’re best friends’ thing is like…”

“It’s a complicated thing,” Plastique said, sitting down and grabbing my knee lightly. I sank into the couch further and continued to sip on my drink. Rajah went back to the mirror to prepare for the lip sync. Was it a mistake to think the drama was finally over at this point? Oh absolutely.

“I think right now a lot of people are very, very frustrated,” Vanjie said. “We are all competing against each other, we start comparing ourselves to each other, forgetting that, bitch, they want you because of you not because of whatever goes on in here… you know.”

Yvie rolled his eyes, clearly still annoyed from his previous argument with Silky. I looked at Vanjie and saw that he quickly got annoyed with this response.

“What you rolling your eyes for?” Vanjie asked. _Great, here we go again._

“Cause like, that’s really cute to say,” Yvie sat his drink down and turned towards him. “But you were also the bitch who was like ‘Well, I guess the one girl who I want to go home is Yvie because she fought me.’”

I knew instantly that this was going to get very intense. Vanjie’s mouth dropped open in shock, and I silently began to hope neither of them would stand up and get closer to the other. As long as they argued from a distance, I could stay out of it.

“Girl, why you going backwards?” Vanjie asked once the initial shock of Yvie’s comment wore off. “At the time when RuPaul asked, I couldn’t think of nobody that should go home. I said ‘I’m just gonna say Yvie just because she called me out, but I know she was right.’”

“I thought we were closer than that, but she wanted to pop off at the red couch,” Vanjie continued. “That bothered me-”

Yvie cut Vanjie off and they started yelling at each other pretty angrily. I got up and walked to the mirrors to get away for a minute. Yvie stopped talking and threw up his hand. I knew better to think this was the end, and Yvie started up again a few seconds later. It was taking everything in me not to mediate, but I didn’t want to make it worse or make it seem like I think Vanjie can’t fight his own battles. Vanjie stood up and started getting louder, so I walked back over to the couch. I sat down and listened as they screamed at each other, just enough distance between them for me to feel okay with letting them handle it. Yvie got up and stormed off to the mirrors, both of them still yelling the whole time. I grabbed two couch cushions and stood one up on either side of me, trying to do anything to distract myself. I grabbed a third and put it over my head, finishing my couch fort, drink still in hand. However, the argument didn’t stop and when Yvie came back over, I knew it was going to escalate to a physical level if I didn’t stop it.

“Okay, stop it,” I said sternly, standing up and walking over to them. I gently pushed Vanjie’s hand down by his side as they continued to argue. Silky stepped between them as well, and I took the opportunity to push Yvie back. He got the message and turned around, leaving Vanjie standing with Silky and I. I turned towards Vanjie, who was quiet now.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” He huffed, still clearly annoyed. I decided now wasn’t the time to coddle him, so I sat back down on the couch.

“If you crying to me on my shoulder, then you start reading me-” Vanjie ranted to Silky.

“Can we just bottle our feelings like normal people?” I shouted, trying to prop myself back up after falling over. Somehow, I managed not to spill my drink as I struggled to sit up with my free arm. Finally, we were called back to the main stage. _Thank God_ , I thought to myself.

Plastique won the challenge over me, but I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I was proud of my friend for finally snatching her first challenge win. I smiled politely to the judges before heading to the back of the stage. Vanjie moved down to make room and I took the chance to stand next to him. If I was going to watch whatever intense lip sync transpired, I wanted to be next to the man I love. Rajah and Akeria were in the bottom two. It was a bit shocking to see Akeria there, but everyone knew Rajah would be there, including Rajah himself.

They both did well, but in the end, it was Rajah who went home. When she exited the stage, I knew we were only minutes away from being done filming for the day. I let that sink in and felt the stress of the competition melt away. As RuPaul began his usual speech to end the episode, I grabbed Vanjie’s hand. I turned my body slightly towards him and smiled brightly, feeling him relax as I gently squeezed his hand.

~~~

The van ride back to the hotel was unusually quiet. Everyone was still angry and tense from all the arguments that went down during Untucked. To add to it, Vanjie and Silky had argued with Yvie again when we sat on the couch after the elimination. I knew I’d probably hear all about it when we got back to the hotel room. I stared out the window, hand on Vanjie’s knee. I’d put it there more as a way to calm him rather than a display of affection. He was still very tense despite our little moment on the main stage, and he hadn’t said a word since we left the set.

“I can’t believe that bitch,” Vanjie growled as he walked through into my room. I’d already been standing near the door waiting on him. I moved in and put my hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore tonight,” I said softly.”Whatever happens tomorrow is gonna happen, but it’s just me and you for the rest of the night.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “You’re right. No need in staying mad when the bitch ain’t even here.”

“Good,” I smiled. “You did a really good job, and I’m proud of you for being safe.”

“Whatever,” He blushed. “Hey, what’d you grab my hand for when we were about to leave the stage?”

I laughed and kissed him. “I just really wanted to.”

“Not worried about it at all?” He asked, looking up at me with a smile.

“Nope,” I shook my head. “If I was, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“It was nice to have a moment like that,” He wrapped his arms around my waist, closing the distance between us. I pressed my lips against his, savouring the fact he was finally back to the calm and collected Vanjie that I knew and loved.

“Hey, thanks for breaking up that fight in Untucked,” He said as we pulled away. “I let it go too far, and it almost turned into a fistfight.”

“Of course,” I smiled, looking into his eyes. “I still love you even if I did have to stop you from throwing Yvie in the floor.”

“Shut up,” He laughed. “I love you too.”


	10. The most stressful night ever

Brooke Lynn’s POV

As we stood waiting to go into the workroom, I hugged Vanjie from behind and rested my chin on his shoulder. He grabbed my both of hands and laced our fingers.

“We should walk in like this.” Vanjie said, leaning back into my chest. 

“Are you sure?” I asked.

He turned his head and kissed my cheek. “Yeah, babe. I'm not worried about anything anymore.”

Before I could answer, it was time to walk in. The height difference between the two of us made it a little difficult to walk with me leaning on his shoulder, but we made it work. I stood beside him at the table, waiting to see what would happen. Everyone still seemed to be tense from the day before, which made it really awkward. Before long, though, RuPaul surprised us by popping into the workroom without the usual siren and video. 

~~~

We learned our challenge would be Snatch Game. Finally. I'd been waiting for what seemed like forever. Having fifteen queens this season pushed Snatch Game back a lot further than usual, and it was driving me crazy. At first, I was really excited, but then I realized… I’m not a funny queen. At all.  _ There’s no way they’ll put you in the bottom if you kill the runway _ , I thought, repeating the phrase that I’d been telling Vanjie for weeks.

I sat down at my workstation and the anxiety really started kicking in. It felt like my chest was tightening further with every breath I took. Vanjie and I both managed to make it this far, there’s no way I could leave him now. Not after he told me he loves me. I got up and walked over towards his workstation. 

“Hey, booboo,” I said as I reached him.

“Hey,” He responded calmly. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. It was a little comforting being around him rather than having a full meltdown by myself. It was helpful touching another person, to help anchor me in reality.

“How are you?” He asked as I sat down. Even being near him helped keep the panic at bay.

“I don’t really do a lot of characters ever and…” I took a deep breath and sighed, trying to fight tears. “So it just feels like a mental block. It sucks”

I didn’t want to cry in front of Vanjie, but I was so panicked about this challenge that I was barely holding myself together. Vanjie was looking at me with a soft expression. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on my knee.

“I think you’re gonna be fine,” He assured me. “Who are you gonna do?”

“Celine Dion?” I said nervously. 

Vanjie laughed. “Is that your final answer?”

I couldn’t help but laugh with him as he leaned back against my shoulder, giggling like a little schoolgirl. He leaned up and kissed my cheek. I finally started to feel better. I knew coming over to see Vanjie was a good idea. 

“Make something up live,” Vanjie said, turning his attention back to shaving in his mirror. “Just don’t freak yourself out before.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m just scared, ya know?”

Vanjie paused and looked over at me. “Just count to twenty five. If not, thirty. My ass had to count to forty the other night and that didn’t get me nowhere. Don’t freak yourself out.”

We talked for a few minutes longer before I decided it was time to go back to my table and start getting ready. I stood up and kissed his forehead as we said our goodbyes. With a smile, I sat down at my workstation. As I got ready, thoughts filled my head of how lucky I was to have such a sweet boyfriend.

~~~

Snatch Game was a disaster. Not just for me, but for Vanjie too. I knew before we even hit the main stage that one or both of us would be lip syncing tonight. I can’t even describe how shitty it feels to know you could be the one to end your boyfriend’s dream. 

_ I’ll send home my own boyfriend if I have to _ , I’d once said to Akeria. I don’t feel that way anymore. I’d hate doing that to him. I knew it would hurt him so bad, and I couldn’t be the one to do that. 

I stood in line waiting to go on the main stage feeling nervous as hell. I could barely stand still. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Vanjie standing beside me. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and lay his head on my chest.

“No matter what happens, it’s gonna be okay,” He whispered.

“But Vanjie I-” I started, but was cut off.

“Shh. Just focus on killing this runway,” Vanje said, still clinging to me. “That’s what you always tell me, right?”

I sighed. “Yeah. I know.”

“Mhmm,” He kissed my lips and let go. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I playfully rolled my eyes as he walked away. It was a little weird going from being the comforter to being the one who need to be comforted, but I’m not mad at it. In my distress, I didn’t realize at first that Vanjie wearing a bodysuit again.

“Vanjie, your outfit,” I said in a panic.

He sighed, an annoyed expression on his face. “I know.”

_ Please don’t let this be what sends him home _ .

~~~

Out on the runway, my outfit reveal made the judges scream. I hoped it would be enough to keep me out of the bottom, but I wasn’t sure it was. RuPaul usually isn’t very willing to forgive major Snatch Game fuck ups, so I pulled out every stunt I could to try and keep myself from lip syncing.

Michelle was really tough on Vanjie during critiques, and it made me want to scream. It took everything in me not to jump to his defense. 

When it was my turn, it started out really well with lots of praise. However, Michelle took no time ripping into me for my Snatch Game performance. I took deep breaths to keep myself together until they moved on to the next queen. I couldn’t stand hearing them say I’d disappointed Canada, my home.

~~~

I stood beside Vanjie in front of the mirrors in Untucked, a place that had almost become a second home to us at this point. This time felt so much worse than before.I was no longer confident in my place in the competition. It would be a miracle if I didn’t lip sync tonight, and I was very aware of that.

“I hope it's me and Yvie in the bottom two.” I stated blunty.

Vanjie looked up at me in shock. “What? Why?!”

“I don't want to lip sync against you,” I crossed my arms. “Ever.”

“Don't you want to win?” He asked.

“Not if it means I have to send you home.”

Vanjie shook his head. “That's not even right.”

“Listen,” I lowered my voice to a whisper as I pulled him into my arms. “I can handle myself in a lip sync. I will pull out stunt after stunt until my body can't take it anymore if that's what it takes to stay. But I don't want you to have to fight to stay tonight. And I certainly don't want you to have to fight against me.”

“Stop talking before you make me cry,” He laughed, looking up at me. I pressed my lips against his, pull away, and go in again. We couldn’t open our kiss any deeper than a quick peck. However, it was comforting to be this close to him despite where we were. Sometimes looking into those earthy brown eyes made me forget anything else existed. For some reason, all I ever wanted to do was protect him, no matter what would happen to me as a result.

“Well, let me go get this lip sync together, babe,” He sighed and walked away to prepare for the impending lip sync battle. I followed and stood nearby him as I went through my own routine. 

~~~

Vanjie was safe, thank God, but that meant I had to lip sync against Yvie. I gave it everything I had, just like I told Vanjie I would. Every time I saw Yvie pull some wild stunt, it was only motivation to pull a wild stunt of my own. By the end of the lip sync, I was breathing heavily, almost too exhausted to stand.  _ I don’t think I’ve danced this hard in years _ .

RuPaul’s dithery voice was about to send one of us home. But she doesn’t call either of us by name. “Shantay you both stay,” Was all I heard before I zoned out in the uproar of cheers. Yvie and I hugged tightly, congratulating each other for giving it the fight of our lives. I couldn't think about anything but getting back to Vanjie. I just wanted to get off the stage so I could hold him and tell him how happy I was to still be here with him.

As soon as I got completely out of drag, I speed walked over to Vanjie to pull him into a hug. We both held onto each other tightly, as if we were each expecting the other to disappear if we ever let go. 

“Don't miss the van, ladies,” Akeria said on her way out of the workroom. We snapped back to reality, laughing as we pulled away.

“You did it,” Vanjie grabbed my hands and squeezed them excitedly. “You actually did it.”

“Can we talk about this in the hotel room?” I laughed. “I'm so tired. I just need to get out of here.”

“Oh yes ma'am, miss Brooke Lynn,” Vanjie smirked, turning to walk away.

I burst out laughing. “Just go get in the damn van.”

~~~

“How in the fuck did you manage to keep turning tricks like that?!” Vanjie squealed as he stepped into my room.

“I guess I just  _ really _ wanted to stay.” I shrugged from my seat on the edge of the bed. 

“From what you said in Untucked, it sounded like you  _ really _ wanted  _ me  _ to stay,” Vanjie replied, mocking me with a sly smile.

“I do!” I laughed. “I want both of us to stay.”

Vanjie sat down beside me on the bed, turning his body to face me. “And why is that?”

“I'd rather make it to the end with you. I don’t want to be separated from you for even one episode. It would be torture for one of us to sit at home while we both miss each other terribly.” 

“What you did tonight… that shit proved you wanna be here,” He took my hand as he spoke. “Honestly, if RuPaul doesn't crown you, I'm gonna personally fight his ass.” 

Vanjie immediately laughed at himself once he realized what he said. I couldn't help but laugh with him.

“Aww, you'd really do that for me?” I teased.

“Listen, ho,” He scooted closer to me. “There's about a hundred thousand million billion things I would do for you.”

I laughed harder. “Is that even a real number?”

“Nope, but it don't matter to me.” Vanjie shrugged.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked after our laughter died out. “Michelle really let you have it out there.”

“It's Michelle,” He shrugged. “Nothing I do makes her happy.”

“Yeah, but are you okay?” I asked again.

Vanjie nodded. “I was more worried about you, honestly. They said good things about your runway, so I was really shook that they put you in the bottom over me.”

“It wouldn’t have been a double save like that,” I said. “That sounds really terrible to say, but I don’t think you would’ve survived against Yvie. It’s better this way. We’re both still here for another week and that’s what matters.”

“It’s not your responsibility to keep me here,” Vanjie huffed in frustration.

“I can take care of me,” I whispered, leaning close to him. “But I don’t even want to think about how much torture it would be for us if one of us went home.” 

I knew in that moment I would do anything I had to do to make sure both of us made it to the top four. We needed it to stay sane. Even one episode apart would be so stressful and I didn’t think either one of us could handle it.


	11. The night everything almost ended

Brooke Lynn’s POV

I woke up to find that Vanjie was no longer lying beside me. I sat up and looked around the room for him. However, he was nowhere to be found.

“Babe,” I called out.

“Yeah?” He answered, peeking his head out of the bathroom.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Nothing, sorry. You weren’t in bed, so I thought you were gone.”

“Just went to brush my teeth,” Vanjie smiled, showing them off. He slid back into bed beside me.

“Well, I missed you for all ten seconds I was awake without you here,” I laughed. Vanjie rolled his eyes playfully and I leaned down to kiss him. Our lips moved softly against each other for a few moments before he pulled away. 

“Since you were too tired last night,” Vanjie said as he climbed over onto my lap, facing me. “I think now would be a good time to celebrate your  _ legendary _ lip sync performance.”

I placed my hands on his hips and looked up at him dreamily. “And what are we gonna do to celebrate?”

“You do so much for me,” He began, leaning down to kiss me. The fabric of his tank top brushed against my bare chest. “Let me take care of you.”

I licked my lips, watching as he slowly took off his tank top and discarded it on the floor. His hands gripped my shoulders as he kissed me. He gently rocked his hips against mine, making me moan. He reached back and threw the blanket and sheets off of my legs. He broke the kiss and we kept eye contact as he moved down my body. I leaned back on my elbows and moved my legs apart. I closed my eyes as he ran his soft hands down my chest.

“Just relax, baby,” Vanjie said softly. He grabbed the waistband of my shorts and pulled them off quickly. I inhaled sharply as the cold air hit my naked skin. He moved back up my body and pressed his warmth against me. I felt his hot breath against my neck as he leaned down to kiss it. His ran his tongue up it slowly. I moaned,my hips jerking up to meet his.

“Fuck,” I growled as he bit down on my neck.

“Hmm, I seem to remember a time when you teased me for being a submissive bottom,” Vanjie laughed. “Guess I get to show you now that I can be more than that.”

“Well get to it then, Papi,” My voice cracked as I struggled to keep up my usual dominant persona. 

He carefully took off his shorts and threw them on the floor. After a lot of kissing and dirty talk, he sat up and slowly lowered himself down onto my dick, using his hand to guide me in. He bit his lip and started to slide up and down at a slow pace. Once he picked up the pace a little, I grabbed his hips and thrust in time with his movements. He let out a loud moan  that went straight to my dick as I wrapped my hand around him and begin to stroke him. 

“Fuck,” He moaned after a few more pumps of my hand. I could tell he was close. His face had a pink undertone and he closed his eyes tightly. Soon he came hard on my stomach. He sat very still for a moment, panting as he tried to catch his breath, then he climbed off of me and sat on the bed between my legs.

He shook his head, smiling as he took my dick in his hand. “I try to put all the attention on you, make you feel special, but you just couldn’t let me do all the work, could you?”

“Sorry, babe,” I laughed. He stroked my dick fast and several moans escaped my throat as I got close to my climax. I squeezed my eyes shut, my hips twitching upwards as I came. I relaxed into the bed once it was over, letting my breathing steady and my muscles calm down. I opened my eyes to see Vanjie beaming at me like he’d just won some big award. 

“I was scared when you got put in the bottom,” He said as he cuddled up beside me. “But I’m glad you’re still here.”

I smiled and kissed his forehead. “Me too. Couldn’t imagine being without you.”

~~~

Without even a siren or a video, RuPaul walked into the workroom, surprising us all. We got up from the table and ran over to where he was standing. I screamed out in excitement when we were told Reading is Fundamental was our mini challenge today. It was my favourite to watch on the show every season, and I’d been looking forward to doing it myself.

Poor Vanjie’s jokes just weren’t that funny. His reads were just things he’d normally say in the workroom so none of us laughed because we were waiting for punch lines that never came.

“Why y'all hoes not laughing?” Vanjie whined, lifting up his glasses. “Y’all are trifling!”

“Cause you’re not funny, bitch!” I called out, causing the other queens to laugh with me. He made a pouty face before moving on to his next read, which was about how ugly my toes are. I couldn’t help but chuckle at that one because I knew he was right. Dancing, especially ballet, does something awful to your feet, and mine are no exception.

After a couple more queens, it was finally my turn. I’d carefully prepared all my reads so I really hoped they’d be funny.

“Plastique Tiara,” I said, looking at him, ready to read my first victim.

“Hi,” He responded in his shy, quiet voice.

“I’m looking for a new apartment, how much are you charging for the vacant space between your ears?”

Everyone giggled, which only hyped me up for my next one. I looked over at Shuga, prepared to read him within an inch of his life.

“Shuga Cain, I’m redoing my fireplace and I’m short a brick,” I said before pulling my glasses down slightly. “Can I borrow your face?”

This read earned even more laughs. Shuga looked like his old ass might pee if he laughed any harder.

“Miss Vanjie,” I said, turning to him with a smile.

“Don’t get the divorce papers,” He warned playfully. I hoped he wouldn’t take my read the wrong way and get upset, but I wasn’t too worried.

“Now, the real reason I keep kissing you...” I paused for a second and Vanjie looked up from the floor with a small smile. “Is because it’s the only way to get you to shut the fuck up.”

The smile on his face grew brighter and lit up his whole face. “I’ll take that!”

I ended up winning the mini challenge and I was so happy. I hadn’t expected it, but it was nice to win, especially since it meant I’d be team leader if we were doing another team challenge, which there seemed to be a lot of this season.

Sure enough, we were assigned another team challenge. Earlier in the season, I would’ve done anything to have Vanjie on my team. However, after the scare of being in the bottom last week, I didn’t want to risk getting distracted by him. Instead, I picked Nina to be my partner, after all she was the best at  the things I’m weakest in -- comedy and acting. Though that seemed to upset Vanjie a little. I could only hope he’d understand it wasn’t personal. I paired him up with Plastique, which I thought would be a balanced group and prayed he’d at least be safe this week.

When I found out it was an improv comedy challenge, it worried me because that’s not something I’m usually good at. I was depending on  Nina being able to help me out to keep me out of the bottom.

~~~

The challenge went so much better than expected. I was fully naked and just screamed out whatever funny shit I thought of. Nina and I bounced off of each other really well and I was confident the judges would love it. As the crew started setting up for Vanjie and Plastique’s scene, I got a moment to speak to Vanjie alone in the workroom. 

“Why didn’t you pick me?” Vanjie asked and crossed his arms.

“I wouldn’t have been able to focus on the challenge if you were my partner,” I explained. “Just us by ourselves with no one to get us back on track if we got distracted, that would’ve been detrimental to both of us. I’d rather not have both of us in the bottom.”

He sighed. “I guess.”

“Vanjie, come here,” I said, pulling him into my arms. He wrapped his arms around my waist and relaxed. “You know I love you and I’d never intentionally hurt your feelings.”

“Yeah, I know,” Vanjie relaxed and rested his head on my chest. “I love you too.”

“Vanjie,” Plastique called out to him. “It’s time to go.”

~~~

I knew as soon as I saw Vanjie and Plastique’s scene that they’d be in the bottom two. None of us other queens could follow what was going on in the scene. It was just such a big mess. Watching it fall apart like that felt like a punch in the chest. I didn’t want Vanjie to go home and I felt like it was my fault for pairing him with Plastique.

Michelle read the hell out of Vanjie on the runway for his repeated bodysuits as usual. Even though I got high critiques and knew I’d be in the top, I was frustrated for Vanjie. It seemed like they never had a nice thing to say about him, even when he tried his hardest to be better. It drove me insane to hear them tear him down every week.

I felt terrible as we walked into Untucked. I waited for a calm moment where I could leave the couch and speak to Vanjie alone. 

“I am so sorry,” I said when I reached him. “I really thought I was helping you and Plastique by putting you two together. I thought you’d balance each other out.”

Vanjie shrugged, not looking away from the mirror. “It’s whatever.”

“It’s not whatever,” I sat down in the chair beside him, my eyes stinging, trying not to cry as sadness and guilt overwhelmed me. “You’re in the bottom because of me. I feel like shit.”

“Brooke, I am not in the bottom because of you,” He turned his head to face me. “I’m in the bottom because I fucked up in the challenge and my runway was terrible. That’s it.”

I shook my head, still fighting back tears. “I could’ve put you with Silky or Akeria and you would’ve been fine.” Despite my best effort, a tear slid slid through my lashes.

“Just stop,” He sighed, looking away as his own tears started to flow. “I’m not gonna go home tonight. I’m gonna fight. Hard.”

~~~

“Vanjie, shantay you stay,” RuPaul said after the lip sync finished. Hearing those words lifted such a weight off of my shoulders and I felt about ready to collapse. Vanjie walked over to stand beside me and I immediately slid my arm around him, pulling him close to me. He kissed my cheek, which made me smile despite how stressed I’d been. Plastique was my friend and my heart broke for him, but I was elated Vanjie didn’t have to leave.

I held his hand as we all walked back to the workroom. Neither of us said a word. We were too shaken up about Vanjie’s first lip sync. I was beyond tired, both physically and emotionally. As we entered the workroom, Vanjie pulled his hand away and walked over to the couch. I unintentionally went on a huge speech bragging on myself for how well I did in the challenge which seemed to upset a few people, especially Nina. I just wanted everyone to think I was happy despite the crushing guilt about nearly getting Vanjie sent home. I guess I overdid it. 

The van ride back to the hotel was silent. I wrapped my arms around Vanjie and he leaned into me. He lay his head on my chest and I rested my chin on the top of his head. The reality that either of us could go home at any time had never felt so real before tonight. Sure, I was scared last week, but I thought I had a good chance of staying. Plus, I could actually  _ do _ something to make sure I stayed. Watching Vanjie lip sync tonight was terrifying. There was nothing I could do about it and I couldn’t imagine being here without him.

~~~

“Are you okay?” I asked Vanjie, sitting down beside him. He was sat on my bed just staring at the wall.

“No,” His voice cracked as blinked away tears.

I pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly in my arms. “It’s okay, baby. We’re both still here and I’ve got you now.”

“I just want to be good enough,” He sobbed, finally falling apart as emotion shook his entire body.

“You  _ are _ ,” I said, tears flowing down my own cheeks. “You’re good enough for me.”

“I never do anything right,” Vanjie sobbed into my chest.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to stop my heart from shattering into a million pieces. “That’s just not true.”

“Yes it is,” He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and balled his hand into a fist. “They hate me.”

“If that was true, you wouldn’t be in the top six,” I said. I rubbed his back, trying to calm him down.

“Please don’t ever leave me,” He said, shaking and gasping for air as I could tell a panic attack was setting in.

“Shhh,” I continued to rub his back. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. I would never leave you.”

Vanjie was finally able to calm down after a few minutes. It broke my heart to see him doubt himself like this and get so upset. I felt partially responsible, but I had to keep it together for him. He needed me to be strong, so that’s what I did. His body relaxed against mine and his breathing steadied.

“There’s no way I would’ve made it so far without you,” He looked up at me.

“How’s that?”

“You keep me sane,” He explained. “I would’ve given up on the competition a long time ago if you weren’t here with me.”

I pressed my lips against his, moving my hands up to his cheeks. His arms wrapped around my neck as we kissed. I felt safe and at home with him. No more stress from the competition.

“You’ve had a long day, Papi,” I said, breaking the kiss. “Let’s cuddle up in bed and get some sleep.”

Vanjie smiled and kissed me before climbing over to his side of the bed. Once we were both under the covers, he instinctively threw his arm across my stomach and lay his head on my chest. When he looked up at me and smiled, I couldn’t help but think, _ I have never been more in love with anyone than I am with this man right now _ .


	12. Chapter 12

Brooke Lynn’s POV

RuPaul brought out the pit crew and I wondered what fun mini challenge awaited us this time. Any time the pit crew is there, you know it’s going to be something really interesting. 

“Each of you will be paired with one of these gorgeous, hot men, who are wearing underwear provided by Dirt Squirrel,” RuPaul said.

Vanjie must’ve looked over and noticed me looking at them because he reached up and covered my eyes with his hand. I thought it was really cute that he was jealous. When he moved his hand away, I grabbed it and laced our fingers to show him he had nothing to worry about. RuPaul explained that we’d have to use teamwork to move a ball between the assigned body parts to the trash bin. I thought it sounded really fun. Watching Shuga play made it look fun too. I ended up being next to go.

I was assigned to be hip to hip with my partner while holding an 8-ball between our hips. I turned so that I was facing towards the RuPaul and my pit crew guy was facing the bin. I grabbed onto his arm to help me keep my balance. However, after a few steps he grabbed my side roughly. I gasped and brought my hand to my chest. I looked at Vanjie, who shot me a warning glance. If I thought he was jealous before, that was nothing compared to now. The ball suddenly fell to the floor right before we would’ve reached the bin to drop it in. I have no idea how it fell, but somehow it did.

Vanjie ended up being a pro at this game. He managed to get at least three balls in the bin. It was great to see him let go and have fun for once. He jumped up and down screaming when it was announced that he’d won the mini challenge. I congratulated him with a few playful slaps on the ass. He couldn’t stop smiling and I loved finally seeing him happy again.

RuPaul announced that we’d be creating and performing a magic show for our main challenge. Since Vanjie won the mini challenge, he got to pick the teams. He didn’t pick me to be on his team, and even though we’d agreed before that being on the same team would be too distracting, I was still a little disappointed. 

I had Shuga and Nina on my team, which I thought would be a great combination. I thought we’d just sit down on the couch and an amazing show would suddenly come together. However, we were all over thinking it and it took forever to even come up with a name for our magic group. We were still trying to figure it out when RuPaul came over to check on us.

“Why do you think Vanjie didn’t put you on her team?” RuPaul asked. “Aren’t you guys very close?”

Any confidence I’d been feeling about the challenge was drained. Vanjie and I had been terrified all season about RuPaul finding out about our relationship and it had finally happened. I looked over at Vanjie. He was pretending to be very busy working, but I could tell from his sad expression that he felt a little bad about not picking me.

“She didn’t want our romantic connection getting in the way of our work,” I laughed nervously. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still scared of what RuPaul would think of our relationship. 

“Is there really a romantic connection?” He asked with a smile. 

I laughed, feeling a little less stressed. “Yeah! We have a situation-ship.”

“Have you slipped her the tongue?”

“Several times,” I smirked.

“Really?” He asked, seeming very interested in the all dirty little details. I could hear Vanjie laughing from across the room. “Have you slipped her your pinky finger?”

I laughed and looked away, feeling embarrassed as my team laughed at me. “Oh my god. You’re making blush, Ru. No pinky fingers.”

“You weren’t shocked that you weren’t chosen for Vanjie’s team?”

“This is a competition,” I started, speaking firmly. “I don’t expect anything like that. I don’t expect to be chosen for her team just because-”

“You’re sticking her the pinky,” RuPaul finished my sentence, making me laugh out loud. 

“I feel like a twelve year old girl,” I giggled. I felt an overwhelming relief that RuPaul seemed to be completely okay with me and Vanjie being together.

~~~

“I was surprised you didn’t choose Brooke Lynn,” I heard RuPaul say to Vanjie. “Because apparently you two are an item.”

I guess it was only fair that if he was gonna interrogate me when he talked to my team that he would do the same to Vanjie. I looked down at the information we were given on the magic tricks and tried to focus on which tricks I thought should be performed by which of my team members.

“I’m not gonna put my man in my group!” Vanjie fired back. The sound of his loud voice in a quiet room make me look up. “You know, get your own- go on your own side with, you know.”

I got up and stood behind Nina so I could hear the conversation better. I smiled as I listened in. 

“When he had the chance to pick people, he picked Nina, and I wasn’t pressed about it,” He continued.

~~~

“I hated the trick I originally picked, so I’m glad we practiced more and changed it,” I told Vanjie as we lay in bed that night. 

“You think you’ll do good?” He asked.

“Yeah, we feel really good about it now. What about you?”

“I don’t know,” He sighed. “Yvie and I want a script, but Silky and Akeria want to improv the whole thing. We might make it work, but I’m nervous.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I ran my hand through my hair.

Vanjie mindlessly traced shapes into my chest with his fingers. “Whatever. I'm gonna do my best and whatever happens, happens.”

I kissed his forehead and tried to fight away thoughts of him lip syncing again. If his team was in the bottom, he'd likely be lip syncing because he's the team leader, and the other people on his team are fierce lip sync assassins. Other than maybe Silky, but she was always talking about how ready she was to lip sync. I couldn't worry about that now. It would only stress me to death.

“Only a couple more episodes until we're out of here,” He kissed my cheek.

“I hope you'll be here for all of them,” I leaned leaned down and pressed my lips against his.

Vanjie smiled, earthy brown eyes lighting up despite the darkness of the room. “Me too.”

“Hey, at least RuPaul seems to be okay with us being together,” I smiled back at him. “If anything, he seems like he’s a fan of it.”

“Thank God,” He laughed. “It’s so much less stress now that we don’t have to hide it from him anymore.”

“Do we have any sort of plan for what we're gonna do when we get out?” I asked. I'd been so focused on the competition that I'd forgotten it'd eventually end. I'd also forgotten Vanjie and I live a decent distance from each other.

“My drag mom and I have been planning to move to LA,” He said as he lay his head on my chest. “Bad news is that's even further away from you. I really don't know what to do. Do you have any ideas?”

“I guess we just visit each other every chance we get.”

“We’ll make it work,” Vanjie said softly. Soon, he fell asleep and I was left awake with thoughts of how we’d make our relationship work after filming was over. 

~~~

I stood in front of the mirror changing from my magic show look into my runway look. My team’s performance went really well. We had a good time and both the judges and the audience seemed to enjoy it. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to watch Vanjie’s team, so I had no idea how they were doing. When the four of them returned to the workroom, they all seemed really stressed out.

I walked over to Vanjie’s workstation to check on him. “How’d it go?”

“I’m praying this runway will keep me out of the bottom,” He said. “It wasn’t a complete train wreck, but it wasn’t as good as it could have been.”

“Oh, Vanjie,” I sighed deeply. “Not again.”

“I really tried this time.”

I rubbed his back. “I know you did, baby.”

~~~

Yvie threw the rest of the team under the bus during critiques and it nearly started an argument between him and Vanjie. If Akeria hadn’t calmed Vanjie down, it probably would’ve turned into another nasty fight like the ones they’d had before, only this time it would’ve been onstage in front of the judges.

They loved Vanjie’s outfit, so I hoped he’d be safe. Michelle even said it was her favorite runway of the night. However, she continued on to say there’s been no character development with him, which really seemed to upset Vanjie. He started to cry as he gave a speech about how hard he’d been trying to improve every week. It was hard to listen to, so I grabbed his hand to comfort him.

The judges loved me and gave me very high critiques. It was great not to have to worry about myself, but I was uncertain of whether Vanjie would stay tonight. If he had to lip sync tonight, it’d be the second week in a row, and the other queens in his group are lip sync assassins. I was also confused because they didn’t like Shuga’s runway and said his performance wasn’t good enough. I thought being on the better team would ensure he was safe, but I wasn’t so sure anymore. 

~~~

“I could foresee the situation that was actually going to happen on stage between Vanjie and Yvie,” Akeria said. “And I was just like, it could be read as a misunderstanding, but at the same time, it was just the wrong time and place. I knew what it could possibly turn into just from previous events.”

_ Please don’t let this turn into another heated argument between them _ , I thought as I listened from the couch in Untucked. 

“I knew Vanjie was going to get heated,” Akeria continued. “So just like, okay, sis, just calm down. And I knew you wouldn’t have escalated until she escalated, but the way you delivered it was going to make her escalate.”

“I could see it in her,” I interjected. Vanjie had been really upset by what Yvie had said on the stage. I knew as soon as Yvie got started that Vanjie would’ve popped off if Akeria hadn’t been there to stop her. 

“Right,” He continued. “It wasn’t me calming her down because I agree with one of you over the other, I just knew what it was going to turn into. If she reacted the way that she reacts, I knew it was going to make you react the way that you react, and it was going to turn into a big disaster in front of a group of people who we’re trying to impress.”

I tuned out the conversation for a while because it was just Yvie and Akeria going back and forth about the same thing. I watched Vanjie get more stressed out as the conversation went on. He could barely sit still in his seat. 

“I don’t think that has anything to do with the amount of work,” Vanjie chimed in. “Because we all had to do the same stuff, remember what we had to say, and remember-”

I sighed and stopped listening again as Vanjie was cut off by Yvie. I was just glad that it didn’t seem to be getting very heated. After Nina jumped into the conversation, I was so over it.

“Just let it go,” I interrupted. “Vanjie, I’ve never seen you show emotion.”

“Everything I do is with emotion,” He replied, still a little annoyed. “Aint none of this, you know.”

“But I’ve never seen you show that emotion on the runway,” I explained. I realized the way I’d initially said it seemed like I was saying he never shows emotion in any situation, which isn’t true at all.

“Tear up and cry?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve never seen you get emotional like that. What brought that on?”

“Feeling like I’m disappointing,” Vanjie explained. “Cause at the end of the day I don’t really care what anyone else has to say, you know, x, y, and z. It’s all opinions, and that’s what I’m learning. When it boils down to them two, I do get emotional and I get upset.”

“It just happened,” He continued. “I was like ‘Oh shit’ and I couldn’t even talk. It just started happening.”

“It was sweet though,” I told him with a smile. “I liked seeing that.”

Silky gave me a look and started laughing, which made me laugh too. “Don’t look at me like that, Silk.”

“I don’t really usually cry,” Vanjie said. 

“And it was sweet,” I said to everyone. “I liked that.”

“It happens,” He shrugged.

I smiled and raised my hand to my chest. “I thought it was sweet, baby.”

A production assistant rolled over a TV screen. I wondered who the video could be for. I gasped as my mom appeared on the screen. “My mommy!” I squealed, fighting back tears. I wasn’t expecting to see her. I brought my hand up to my mouth as I listened to her tell the story of how she found out I was a drag queen. My mom and I have always been close despite her disapproving of my sexuality when I first came out. Despite my best efforts, a few tears managed to escape and roll down my face. I was so overwhelmed with emotions, I didn’t notice Vanjie get up and sit down beside me. He put his hand on my back, and I looked at him with a smile before turning my attention back to the video. 

“Anybody got a tissue?” Vanjie asked once the video ended. He continued asking until someone finally brought me one, even after Akeria let me wipe my eyes on her outfit. He grabbed the tissue from a production assistant and handed it to me.

“Thank you,” I said through the tears that were still leaking from my eyes. 

“Brooke, you are loved,” Nina smiled softly. “Your mom is brilliant.”

“My mom is the best. I love her so much.”

Vanjie continued rubbing my back as I told the other queens about my relationship with my mom. It touched my heart that he wanted to sit and comfort me like that.

~~~

I panicked when Vanjie and Shuga were announced as the bottom two.  _ Why is Shuga even in the bottom? Are they trying to make sure Vanjie goes home by putting him against someone who did much better in the challenge?  _ I started to panic as I thought about the possibility that Vanjie could be going home. I crossed my arms, squeezing them against my body as I watched nervously. My chest tightened as the lip sync ended, and I was struggling to breathe. I just knew Vanjie would go-

“Vanjie, that was magic,” RuPaul snapped me out of my thoughts. “Shantay, you stay.”

And just like that, I could breathe again. Tears streamed down Vanjie’s cheeks as he joined the rest of us at the back of the stage. If I hadn’t been on the opposite end of the other queens, I would’ve pulled him into my arms and held him there forever. Hell, I might’ve even cried with him. 

As the music played us off, I followed the others to the front of the stage. I pulled Vanjie close and kissed him in front of everyone. I hugged him tightly, then we left the stage with the other queens.

~~~

"I ain't lip syncing no more!" Vanjie yelled as he walked into my room.

I'd been waiting on him by the door, and I pulled him into a hug. "I had a panic attack on stage because I was so sure you were going home."

"I'm still here, baby," He kissed me as I let go. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

"I love you so much," I said, the tears that I'd held back on the runway finally spilling out.

Vanjie smiled and moved his hands up to wipe the tears from my face. "I love you too. Don't cry, I'm still here."

"I'm glad. I'm really glad."

"No more bottom two for me," He declared. "I gotta make it to the end with you."

"You're really hyper for someone who just lip synced for their life," I laughed. 

"I'm reset and ready to fight for the crown," He smiled and leaned up to kiss me. 

"Oh yeah?" I teased him. 

He pulled away from me, still smiling. "Unless you want me to go home."

"Never," I pulled him back in with my hands on his hips and kissed him again. 

His arms wrapped around my neck, our lips moving hungrily, as if we hadn't seen each other in years. He jumped up and wrapped his legs around my waist. I held him up by his ass, turning to push him up against the wall between our rooms. 

"You sure you're not tired?" I smiled as I whispered in his ear. 

Vanjie shook his head quickly. "No. Please."

"Good," I kissed his neck roughly. When I bit down, the hottest moan escaped his throat making me hard instantly. I grinded my hips against him and he arched his back against the wall, pulling my hair.

"Wanna take this to the bed, Papi?" I asked.

"Fuck. Yes!" Vanjie panted breathlessly.

I carefully walked us over to the edge of the bed and threw him down onto it. It was almost hilarious how quickly we both reached for our shirts and discarded them, too needy to waste any time. He sat up slightly and grabbed my hands, pulling me on top of him. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. I pulled away and ran my tongue from his collarbone to up to his ear. He squirmed under me, biting his lip hard.

"Stop teasing!" Vanjie begged.

I sat back on the bed, resting on my heels. "That's not how you talk to me, is it?"

"No, I'm sorry," He whined. "I'm sorry! Please don't stop."

"Did you forget something?" I asked, not moving despite how bad I wanted to.

Vanjie reached out and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry, daddy. I won't do it again, I promise."

"Good," I smirked, loving how much control I had over him. "Now get on your hands and knees."

Almost as soon as I got the words out of my mouth, Vanjie obeyed. He crouched on the bed, quietly waiting for what would come next. I sat up on my knees and scooted closer to him. Then I leaned over and bit down on his shoulder. He whimpered, and I felt him shiver beneath me. I sat back up and took my dick in one hand, teasingly rubbing it against his hole, and I held onto his hip with my other hand to keep my balance. He tried to push back against me, but I pulled away.

"I thought you were gonna be good?" I asked with a sigh. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Vanjie groaned.

"Since you seem to want to do all the work," I moved back closer to him. "You can rock back and forth on me until I think you're ready to be a good boy."

"Yes, daddy." He said softly.

I put one hand on his hip again and pushed into him slowly. "No touching yourself."

Vanjie moved slowly at first, then he picked up the pace a little. After a minute or so, he seemed to realize it wasn't as much fun doing it by himself. He slowed back down, and I figured he'd been punished enough.

"That's enough," I gently patted him on the hip. "You can lay down now."

Vanjie lay down on his back and looked up at me, patiently waiting. I leaned down and kissed him. 

"You did good, baby," I kissed him again. "You okay to keep going?"

"Please," He smiled and put his arms around my neck. I reached my hand down and guided myself into him. I picked up a slow pace, kissing him lovingly. He moaned into the kiss and wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling our bodies even closer together. There was barely enough room between us to breathe. 

“You’re so beautiful,” I panted against his cheek. Soft, ragged moans left his throat and I had to hold myself together. We’d never gone slow like this before, and it was so magical. I gently kissed his neck and he tilted his head back, giving me easier access.

“Oh fuck,” Vanjie moaned as my teeth grazed his soft skin. “I’m so close.”

I increased my rhythm slightly and it sent Vanjie over the edge. I slowed down until I was barely moving and kissed him. I pulled out, stroking myself until I finally came on his stomach.

I lay down beside him and kissed his shoulder. “I wanted it to be like that the very first time, but I didn’t realize I was gonna get a second chance after that, so I changed my mind.”

“Well I’m glad we got to do it now,” Vanjie looked up at me with a smile. “It was really nice, baby.”

“I’m glad too,” I kissed him softly. “Let’s get some sleep so you can make your big comeback tomorrow.”

Vanjie laughed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Papi,” I sighed contently as I rested my head on his shoulder.


	13. The Makeover Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The makeover challenges causes a little more drama than everyone expected

Brooke Lynn’s POV

Our mini challenge was to fake slap the other queens. Vanjie and I may have had a little too much fun pretending to slap each other. Ever since we realized we weren’t in danger of being kicked out for dating, any chance we got to interact in the workroom was nice for us, especially getting to pick on each other for the camera. 

I won the mini-challenge, which I was really excited about. Then, RuPaul surprised us by bringing back some of the eliminated queens for the makeover challenge. I saw my friends Ariel and Plastique among them, which made me happy. I'd missed seeing them in the workroom every day. 

“Brooke Lynn,” RuPaul said as he turned to me. “You won the mini-challenge, so you get to pair up the queens. So first,” He continued. “Who do you pick for yourself?”

“I’m going to pick Plastique,” I smiled. Plastique ran over and hugged me. He seemed just as happy as I was about our reunion. 

I picked Shuga to work with Nina. The three of us had become close friends before Shuga was eliminated, so I knew they’d work well together. I picked Scarlet for Yvie. They’d also been friends before Scarlet left. I kinda wanted to pair everyone up either with a friend or someone I thought they’d work well with. So far, it seemed to be working out perfectly. I put Akeria and Honey together, which they both seemed really happy about since they’re both part of the famous Davenport drag family. I wanted to give Ariel to Vanjie, so I had no other choice but to give Soju to Silky. I didn’t know how that would turn out, but Silky had  _ ‘That Look’ _ that said she was not pleased with my choice for her partner. 

As we all went our separate ways to prepare our partners for the makeover, I heard Vanjie and Ariel talking about the wigs that Ariel left behind when he was eliminated. Until now, we’d all been thinking they’d been left for Plastique because that’s what Plastique told us, but Ariel told Vanjie he’d left them on accident. I was kind of shocked, but I tried not to focus on it.

The more Vanjie and Ariel discussed the wigs, the more upset and frustrated Ariel got about it. The other pairs started whispering about it, and I even heard Shuga say that Ariel was looking to stir up drama. I hoped it wouldn’t cause any issues for Vanjie in the challenge. Thankfully, he settled down after a minute or two. 

I grabbed two dresses from my area and brought them over to the workstation. I also grabbed a blonde wig and a red wig. Plastique was really excited about our outfits, so I was confident we’d do well. It wouldn’t be hard to make her look like me, so with Plastique being so excited, I knew we’d be able to sell the look to the judges. I got him into the dress I’d picked out for him and started making adjustments on it. Once we got the outfit situated, we sat down at the Vanjie’s workstation with him and Ariel to discuss our runway walk. 

~~~

“Why’d you pick Plastique?” RuPaul asked during our walkthrough. I explained to him that Plastique has a good runway walk and he fits in well with my family aesthetic. In true RuPaul fashion, he interrogated me about my choice in partners for the other queens. I assured him that I put people together who I thought would work well together, but he didn’t believe me. His main point was that it seemed shady to pair Silky and Soju together. I didn’t do it to be shady. As I told him, it would’ve been difficult for Silky to work with anyone. I wanted to make sure the other queens would have someone they work well with, so I wasn’t particularly concerned with Silky.

When RuPaul left us to go talk to Silky, they somehow got into a long argument about his pads. Poor Soju looked scared and embarrassed. None of what Silky was trying to say made any sense and the rest of us just laughed at him.

~~~

We were given a short break after the walkthroughs were over. As soon as the eliminated queens walked into the workroom, my head had been filled with questions about how clingy Plastique had been before he got eliminated. Although I’d temporarily forgotten about it while he was gone, it’d been bothering me on and off since it started happening on the fourth or fifth episode.

“Plastique,” I called to her as I sat down on the couch. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure, Mom,” Plastique smiled and ran over to sit beside me.

“I’ve just been thinking about something a lot,” I said, trying to find the correct words. “And I really wanted to ask you about it now that you’re back.”

He turned towards me and placed his hand on my knee. “What is it? You can ask me anything.”

“The episode after Vanjie and I kissed in Untucked and everyone saw it,” I took a deep breath. “You were really clingy with me that whole day and a couple of times in the new few episodes. I have to ask… Do you have a crush on me or something?”

Plastique laughed. “Brooke, you know I have a boyfriend.” 

“That’s never stopped anyone from looking at other people, as bad as it sounds.”

“Okay, fine,” He sighed. “Maybe I do, but at that time I didn’t know you and Vanjie were serious. I thought it was just a one-time thing and it wouldn’t go anywhere. I was also capitalizing on your thing with Vanjie for screen time, but mostly because I thought I had a chance with you after you were done messing around with Vanjie.”

“Vanjie and I were already dating at that point,” I explained, getting very frustrated with the whole situation. “We were never just hooking up. I love Vanjie a lot and I hope I always feel that way.”

“Wait, I thought you and Ariel were best friends?” I continued. “She asked me that morning if Vanjie and I were dating. Didn’t she tell you?”

“She did, but I didn’t believe her,” He shrugged. Before either of us could say anything else, we were interrupted by Vanjie plopping down in my lap. 

“What we talking about over here?” Vanjie asked. 

Plastique smiled and stood up. “I’m gonna go see what Ariel is up to.”

“You are so jealous,” I said with a laugh once Plastique was gone.

Vanjie turned to face me and raised his eyebrows. “Did I have a reason to be?”

“We’ll talk about it later,” I assured him with a kiss. “We’re almost done filming for the day anyway.”

~~~

“So what’s the tea with Plastique?” Vanjie crossed his arms. He hadn't talked to me the whole van ride back to the hotel and now he was standing in my room looking pissed. 

“I called her out for being really clingy and flirty before she got eliminated,” I explained. “And she admitted that she has a thing for me. Or had.”

“So is that why you picked her?” He asked. “So you could play out whatever little thing y’all got going on?”

“No, not at all.” I rose to my feet. “I love you, and that’s exactly what I told Plastique.”

“And let me guess,” Vanjie stomped over to where I was standing by the bed. “You put me with Ariel so she could distract me. I know those bitches are best friends and they probably planned this shit out before they even walked back into the workroom this morning.”

“You’re not even listening to what I’m saying,” I held my hands out, pleading.

“I don’t need to!” He screamed. “I’ve heard it all before and you’re just gonna cheat on me like every other guy I’ve ever been with!”

“I would never do that!” My voice was thin with shock and pain that he’d even think that. “All the things I say to you -- about how much I love you and planning how we’re gonna make our relationship work once we get out of here, all of that is real. Do you not see that?”

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. I took and deep breath and walked over to answer it. I opened it to find Ariel standing outside my door.

“Are you guys okay?” Ariel asked. “Sorry to just butt in like this, but I was walking to Plastique’s room and I heard all the yelling.”

I stepped to the side and closed the door behind him as he walked into our room. “He thinks I’m cheating on him with Plastique.”

“I bet you helped her plan to steal my man,” Vanjie sneered at Ariel.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Ariel crossed her arms. “But go off, sis.”

“Vanjie is convinced that you and Plastique are conspiring to break us up so that Plastique can be with me,” I explained. “I tried to tell him there’s nothing going on, but he won’t listen to me.”

Ariel threw his hands up. “I have nothing to do with any of this. Plastique told me an episode or two before I was eliminated that he likes Brooke, which is why I asked you two if you were dating. I told him it was a bad idea to make any kind of move because you two were together, so any conspiring is being done completely by Plastique. I’m not involved, nor do I know anything about it.”

“So Plastique  _ is _ tryna take my man,” Vanjie put his hands on his hips dramatically. “I knew it!”

“I honestly don’t think he’s really even concerned about Brooke anymore,” Ariel sighed, an annoyed tone in his voice. “He’s been back home with his boyfriend for a week, why would he be chasing a stupid crush when he’s going to be headed right back to his boyfriend tomorrow after filming?”

Vanjie’s arms fell to his side. He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth again and looked down at the floor.

“I don’t know,” He mumbled. 

“I’m gonna go now,” Ariel turned towards the door and opened it. “Y’all figure this shit out cause I really don’t want any arguing tomorrow in the workroom.” The door clicked behind him.

“Now do you believe me?” 

“Yeah,” Vanjie sat down on the edge of my bed. His voice sounded thick and tired. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

I sat down beside him. “Not gonna lie, it really hurts my feelings that you assumed I was gonna cheat on you.”

“Every relationship I’ve ever been in has ended because of cheating,” He tilted his face up trying to hold back as tears started to fall. “I guess I’m not used to anyone actually giving a shit about me.”

“Listen to me,” I grabbed his face and turned his head to face me. “I care about you more than I have ever cared about anyone. I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this much or this quickly before I met you.” 

“Really?” Vanjie whispered.

“Yes, really. I think about it all the time. Sometimes I just look at you and I think ‘Wow, I have more love for that man than I knew existed.’ I hope that never changes.”

Vanjie smiled then scooted closer to me and rested his head on my shoulder. “I hope it never changes either. I’m always imagining all the cute couple shit we’re gonna do when we get out of here.”

“I do too,” I laughed. “I want you to meet my cats. I wanna introduce you to my mom. I wanna meet your mom too, of course. Trust me, there’s going to be a ridiculous amount of dates.”

“You have cats?” He looked up at me and smiled.

“I do. Two of them and they’re basically my children. I love them so much.”

“Awww, I love kitties!” He squealed.

I laughed and kissed him. “Just when I didn’t think I could love you even more than I already did.”

~~~

Everyone was really tense in the workroom the next morning. Akeria asked Ariel about the wig drama, which I was now having to hear about for the fourth time. Plastique got upset because he didn't want to talk about it again. People were making fun of him because Ariel didn't leave the wigs for Plastique like he'd been telling everyone, and they embarrassed him by asking in front of everyone. 

Akeria asked Scarlet why she said she was surprised Vanjie and Silky were still in the competition. That started a whole big argument between Scarlet, Silky, Akeria and Yvie. I wondered if anyone's makeup would ever get finished in time with all this drama going on.

"Vanjie was really upset with me last night," I said to Plastique as I finished up his makeup.

"Why?" Plastique asked.

I put down the makeup brush I was using and sighed. "He thought I was gonna cheat on him."

"You wouldn't cheat," He turned around to look at himself in the mirror. "Even I know that."

"I know. He's been hurt a lot before, so he just assumes the worst. Everything is fine now, though. We talked it out."

"Good," Plastique turned back around and sighed. "Hey, I'm sorry I caused problems for you two. I didn't mean to and I promise I'm not gonna do anything to break you up."

I stepped over to my rack of costumes and grabbed Plastique's dress. "I appreciate that. Here, let's get you dressed."

~~~

Our runway went flawlessly. Plastique and did our routine exactly as we practised. I thought ours was really good, but I was even more impressed with Vanjie and Ariel. Vanjie did so good on Ariel's makeover that they looked like twins. A few times I even had to do a double take because I mistook Ariel for Vanjie. 

The judges loved Vanjie and Ariel as well. Michelle even told Vanjie she was proud of him, which made him cry tears of joy. The other judges had wonderful things to say too.

"Congrats, Vanjie," I whispered to him.

He turned to me with a smile. "Thank you."

Plastique and I also got high critiques from the judges. I nearly got emotional myself, and I did everything I could to hold myself back from crying.

We were then asked who should go home. That dreaded question. I tried to distance myself emotionally and said Silky. Turns out, it was a pretty even split. Half of us said Silky and half of us said Yvie. I gritted my teeth and went through in my mind how I knew Untucked would play out.

~~~

As expected, Silky was very pressed about people saying he should go home. Yvie was surprisingly calm. He seemed more sad than angry. I felt overwhelmed by emotions again as I explained to Silky that I didn't pick her because I don't like her. I had no idea why I was so emotional. Maybe it was leftover emotional from the previous lip sync or Vanjie and I's argument about Plastique.

Silky and Vanjie left the couches to talk in the back. Silky was feeling really down and Vanjie wanted to try to make him feel better. I could tell Silky was really upset with me and I hated it. I didn't want anyone to be mad at me for any reason, especially not one of Vanjie's best friends.

A video message was played for us and it was from Vanjie's mom. I was shocked at how beautiful and young she looked. It was also adorable to see him so emotional over someone he truly cared about. I could only hope he'd be as emotional about me in the future.  

~~~

I was expecting Vanjie to win the challenge, but I ended up winning instead. I was a little surprised, but it was nice for once to share the top with my boyfriend rather than being worried about him going home.

They announced my prize -- a 2 person trip to Aruba. I smiled. Even if he didn’t get to win, Vanjie would enjoy the prize with me. "Vanjie, we're going on vacation," I called to him. He seemed very happy with that, which made me happy too.

I was also shocked that Nina was in the bottom two rather than Yvie. I really thought it'd be a lip sync between Silky and Yvie. I think everyone else was expecting that too. 

I was even more shocked that Nina went home. Nina and Shuga were my two best friends in this competition, and now they're both gone. It really sucked to know I was alone now other than Vanjie.  _ God forbid he goes next. I might lose my mind. _

~~~

"You did so good tonight," I said as we cuddled on my bed.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Aww thank you, baby."

"I'm proud of you," I smiled so big it hurt. "You really turned things around and showed the judges what you can do."

"Oh, stop. Don't make me fall for you any harder."

I placed my hand under his chin and tilted his face to mine. I gently pressed my lips against his. In that moment, nothing else mattered but Vanjie. I wasn't worried about who would go home next or who would win the crown. I just wanted to be there with him forever.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked him when we finally pulled away.

"Of course," He smiled.

"Well…" I took a deep breath. "You're my first boyfriend."

Vanjie's mouth fell open in surprise. "I-I am?"

"Yeah. It's kinda embarrassing, but before you, I was too afraid to commit. I was just sleeping around."

"What's different about me?" He asked. 

"Uh. Well," I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to figure out what to say. "You're the sweetest and most caring man I've ever met. Falling in love with you was so easy. I've never felt that before."

"You're gonna make me cry again." He laughed and looked away. 

"Congrats on being in the top tonight," I kissed his forehead. "I really thought you were gonna win though."

"It's okay," Vanjie smiled. "You were just as deserving as me."

I placed my hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "It was nice to be in the top with you."

"It sure was. I told you I wasn't lip syncing anymore!"

I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him close to me. He sighed and laid his head on my chest. My heart beat raced, giving away how much I care for him. 

Vanjie lifted his head to look up at me. "Do you think the next episode is the last one?"

"I hope so," I laughed. "I'm ready to go home so we can be free to do whatever we want. If I end up winning, that's cool. If not, that's cool too. I just want to be with you."

"You're too much with this sappy shit today," He playfully rolled his eyes.

"Oh just wait until we get out into the real world and I can take you out."

He laughed and kissed me. "I can't wait."

After a while of watching TV, Vanjie lay his head on my chest and closed his eyes. His breathing soon slowed and I knew he was asleep. I watched him sleep for a few minutes, admiring how peaceful he was. Then I closed my eyes and sleep soon came to me as well.


	14. The end of filming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the last few days of filming. At least until the reunion and finale, but those are months away.

Brooke Lynn's POV

Being in the top five felt amazing, especially being there with my boyfriend. As Michelle Visage entered the workroom, I thought about what our challenge would be. I figured if this was the last episode, it’s usually the one that involves us writing and performing a verse for one of RuPaul's songs. 

Sure enough, the song we’d be writing a verse for was Ru’s "Queens Everywhere". We'd also be learning some choreography from Todrick Hall for the performance. I was excited about that because I love Todrick's work and I was up for a challenge. 

As we sat down and got to work, I decided I would write a tribute to Canada for my rap. I listened to everyone else discuss theirs as I worked. When I told them about mine, they all looked at me in the same way. I couldn't tell if they were impressed or worried, but I was confident in what I was writing. Silky tried to be shady and call me out for the millionth time about giving her Soju in the makeover challenge. I just told her she was too busy talking and needed to save it for when it counts.

Soon, it was time for Vanjie to record his part of the song. He walked towards me as he got ready to leave the workroom. He quickly kissed me on the lips then went on his way. I was sure he'd kill it. I'd heard him rap before, in the shower and in the van, and I thought he was pretty good.

~~~

I had a lot of fun recording my rap with Todrick. He seemed to like what I'd written and the way I delivered it, so that made me happy. I was also kinda glad I didn't have to record it in front of the other contestants like in some of the past seasons. It was nice to just have a one on one with Todrick.

I'd never rapped before, but I felt confident that I was doing well at it. I did all the hand gestures and things I thought rappers did, and really just let myself have fun with it. Todrick laughed a lot, which I thought was a good sign.

~~~

I strode confidently over to where Michelle and RuPaul were recording their podcast. I figured their questions for me would likely be about my relationship with Vanjie, and I was prepared for that. 

"So now, throughout this competition," RuPaul started, and somehow I just knew it would be a relationship question. "You've become very close with Vanjie."

"Mhmm," I responded simply.

"Had you ever been more than friendly with another queen before?"

"I have, a couple of times," I explained. "Nothing serious, I'd never even had a boyfriend."

"Ever?" Michelle gasped in surprise.

I shook my head. "No, never."

It was kind of weird admitting that to people. Nina was first to know, of course, because she'd known me for so many years. Other than that, the only person I'd told was Vanjie, and I'd waited several weeks into our relationship to even tell him. Now that'd I'd told RuPaul and Michelle on national television, there was no more hiding it. It was just something I'd have to get used to people knowing.

~~~

The last thing we all had to do for the day was learn the choreography with Todrick. Vanjie was first up and I watched carefully as he went through the choreography. It wasn't bad at all as far as his technique, but he wasn't selling it to the audience. Todrick called him out on exactly that. On the next try, he immediately improved and I felt a proud smile rise to my face. 

"Good job, baby," I said as I strolled over to take his place. He gently squeezed my hand and brushed his shoulder against mine as we passed each other. 

Todrick was impressed with how well I did the choreography, but he thought I was a little too ballerina for this hip hop choreography. He made me promise that I would put some of the hip hop style and attitude on it. I at least hoped I knew how to do that.

After we'd all had a chance to show how we were doing on that choreography, Todrick took us from the main stage to another part of the set. He informed us that it would be part of a big club dance scene for the music video. He also told us we'd only have one take for it. That made all of us a little nervous, but I tried to stay positive about it.  _ I'm a dancer, I should have no problem with that _ , I thought. And on the bright side, there would be no doing take after take of the same thing for hours like with some of the skits earlier in the season.

~~~

Vanjie and I flopped back on my bed after a long day of dance rehearsal. We had both been working really hard at learning all the choreography, and for the first time since we'd been dating, we both focused a lot more on winning than each other.

"How do you think you're gonna do tomorrow?" I asked.

Vanjie wrapped his arm around my waist and lay his head on my shoulder. "Good. I hope I make it to the top four."

"Me too," I sighed. "But hey, if one of us doesn't make it, this is the last episode, so the other won't have to worry about being stuck here without being able to see each other."

"I wanna be in the top with you though," He looked up at me, a look of concern on his face.

"You really don't think one of us is gonna go home, do you? We were both great today."

"I don't know," He sighed deeply. "I'm just not used to this whole one take idea yet. I can't fuck up or I'm gone. I don't even have a challenge win yet. The rest of you have at least one."

"Don't worry about that," I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. "If someone else really fucks up tomorrow, the judges aren't gonna be concerned about the fact you haven't won a challenge yet."

"I guess you're right," Vanjie's signature smile finally returned to his face. "I shouldn't be worried about that right now anyway. Not when I'm in bed with my favorite man."

"You have more than one man?" I joked, pretending to be shocked and offended.

"Oh, shut up," He laughed. "You're the only one and you probably always will be."

I smiled and tried not to let the incredibly sweet words he'd just said make me emotional. "I hope that's the case, I really do."

"Me too," He whispered as he lay his head back down on my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my heartbeat. Who could've ever imagined I'd want my first boyfriend to be my last? Vanjie means the world to me and I never want to let him go. I closed my eyes and drifted off as thoughts of life after filming circled my head.

~~~

We were so excited that we practically ran into the workroom the next morning. It was the last day of filming until the season aired and after this, we could finally go home. Vanjie and I would finally be free to see each other whenever we wanted and actually go out on dates. 

The five of us talked excitedly about the competition as we put our makeup on for the final challenge. We'd rehearsed long hours yesterday and now it was time to put that training to the test.

"Branjie," Akeria said from her seat at the mirror. "Is that gonna continue after?"

"Yeah, we're gonna--" I started and was cut off by Vanjie.

"We were just talking about it today," He said with a smile. 

"Y'all, really?" Akeria asked.

"Yeah," I responded as we continued our makeup. "We're gonna see where it goes and see what happens."

"You're going to be so far apart and constantly busy and--"

"Whatever you-- If you want it to work, it'll work," Vanjie assured him. "If you don't put effort into it, is not gonna work."

I smiled as I thought about how much we both wanted our relationship to last after the competition was over. It may have started in the workroom, but it sure wasn't going to end there.

"Yeah, I think y'all should," Akeria told us. "I really do enjoy y'all together other than, you know, the smacking."

Vanjie laughed. "I knew it was gonna go left."

"I can definitely do without all of that," Akeria joked. "Other than that, you know, for the most part…"

"I'm so happy y'all approve," I laughed as I finished my makeup and put my wig cap on. I really was happy. If Vanjie's friends liked our relationship then there was a very good chance it'd work in the long term. There'd be no fights between us due to his friends disliking me. I may not have had my own relationships before Vanjie, but I'd seen my friends in enough of them to learn how it works.

~~~

I thought the challenge went really well. I was proud of myself. I watched Vanjie in the mirror as we stood in the workroom getting into our runway looks. Vanjie was wearing a beautiful green floor-length ball-gown. Paired with a wavy brown wig, it was probably my favorite thing he wore on the runway beside his Victoria's Secret Angel and his makeover challenge runway. 

Meanwhile, I put on an outfit that was very ballerina. It gave Swan Lake vibes and I was happy with the way I looked in it. I could only hope the judges would love both of our looks as much I did.

~~~

"I don't think this is the best version of your drag," Carson told me during my critiques. For the first time this episode, I started to get nervous. It only got worse as Michelle read my performance. I'd been so confident in myself and my place in the competition that maybe I hadn't killed the challenge as much as I thought I did. The other judges had negative things to say as well and my mind started spiralling. I didn’t want to lip sync, not after three challenge wins. 

When it was time for Vanjie's critiques, they loved his runway but thought he didn't do well in the challenge. That freaked me out even more because A’keria and Silky both got mostly good critiques. That meant if Yvie also got good critiques…

_ Fuck _ , I told myself,  _ Don't think about that right now. _

Just as I feared, the judges loved Yvie. Although I tried to deny it and push it out of my head, I knew Vanjie and I would be lip syncing against each other. It was something we'd been afraid of ever since I lip synced against Yvie and Vanjie was in the bottom three with us. I didn't want to do it, but I had to decide if winning was the most important thing to me. It was a question I didn't yet have an answer to.

~~~

In Untucked, I tried to ignore the impending lip sync against my boyfriend and just kiki with the other queens. However, I could tell from the energy in the room that we all knew it was coming.

'Vanjie, Brooke Lynn," Silky said after a while. "To have to lip sync against each other tonight, how does that make y'all feel?"

"You gotta do what you gotta do," Vanjie responded to Silky quickly. "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath. "I have always looked at our relationship as completely separate from this competition. I came here to do a job and I'm here to do the best I can do, so if I have to lip sync against Vanjie, I'm gonna give it my all. I'm not… gonna go easy because it's her. Whatever happens, happens. And if I win and get murdered by her fans then… so be it."

I said it as seriously as I could, but it was all a lie. On the inside, I was breaking. I didn't want to lip sync against Vanjie. I didn't want to be eliminated, but I certainly didn't want Vanjie to be eliminated either.

"We came here first, you know, with our own dreams," Vanjie chimed in. "Regardless of what happens, we know it's not personal. It's down to five, it's bound to be one or the other."

"It's neither of our faults," I said to the others, trying to convince myself as well. "Whatever happens."

"The circumstances suck. It’s like Brooke Lynn said. If I stay, fierce, bitch, I will be excited. If I go home, I will be sad, but bitch, at this point, it's down to the nitty-gritty."

I tried to keep up my confident and poised persona as I walked over to the mirrors. I grabbed my bag and pulled out my iPod. I wanted nothing more than to hold Vanjie and cry and tell him how much I didn't want to do this, but I knew that would be extremely unhelpful to both of us. Vanjie came over and started practicing for the lip sync beside me. I tried to pretend like he wasn't there, but it was hard. Eventually, I gave up and stepped over to him.

"You okay?" I asked with a sigh as I sat down in the chair next to him.

"Yeah, it just sucks," He said quietly, and I could tell he hated the situation as much as I did. "I hope it's not us, but you feel strongly about it."

I sighed again. "I have a feeling it will be. I mean, I just… like Silky got… it was much more… it was overwhelmingly positive. I'm pretty sure it's us."

"Oh," His voice cracked. 

We sat there in silence for several seconds just looking at each other. The circumstances were clearly painful for both of us. I could see it in his face.

"Well, you know you're amazing," Vanjie said when we could breathe a little again.

"I think you're amazing too," I told him.

"Go have fun," He tried to force a small smile even though I could tell he was hurting. "Just have fun out there."

"Do your best. I'll do my best."

"I mean," He took a deep breath, clearly trying not to get emotional. "Regardless, we're in the top five."

"We're in the top five, right?" I repeated, trying to make us both feel better by emphasizing our accomplishment.

He sighed. "Yeah."

We sat in silence for a few more seconds and I could feel my heart breaking. Lip syncing against each other had been a distant nightmare for so long, and now it was about to become reality. Vanjie stood up out of his chair and leaned over towards me. He pressed his lips against mine and we kissed for several seconds before turning our attention back to practicing the lip sync.

~~~

Vanjie was announced first as being up for elimination. I looked over at him and saw a tear or two running down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and made a kissy face at me. I smiled through the crushing pain in my chest, trying to show him that everything would be okay.

As the lights went down and the song started, I shut out the world around me. I pretended that Vanjie, the judges, and the other queens weren't there. I pretended it was just me dancing alone. I gave it my all. 

Before I knew it, the song was over and I was snapped back to reality. RuPaul made us wait in suspense for what felt like forever. My name was called to stay and I nearly passed out. I was happy to be in the top four, but I was hurting for Vanjie. I'd just taken away his dream and I hated that feeling.

I ran over to him and grabbed his face. Our lips met and we kissed like it was the last time we'd ever see each other.

"I love you and I'm sorry," I pulled away for a second. 

"I love you too," Vanjie said and then I went in for another kiss. All I wanted was to take away his pain and his tears. It took everything in me to let go of him and join the others at the back of the stage. I grabbed Yvie's arm as I reached him. I rested my head against his shoulder and a few tears escaped from my eyes. Vanjie's exit was over the top, hilarious, exactly like him. I couldn't help but laugh, and neither could anyone else. He'd always been able to make me laugh no matter what I was feeling. 

~~~

I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Vanjie. They made the rest of us stay on set until he'd packed up his hotel room and left. As soon as I was back in the workroom, I'd written down my phone number and told a production assistant to give it to him. I could only hope they had, but I wouldn't know until they let us go home, which I found out would be tomorrow morning.

I closed the door of my hotel room behind me and fell to the floor. It was the first night I'd been without Vanjie in weeks and I didn't know how I'd ever be able to sleep without him by my side. My emotions overcame me and I broke out into full bodied sobs. I wished I could've gone with him or even been able to say goodbye. A double elimination might be kinder than having to feel this soul-sucking loss.

"Vanjie," I cried out even though I knew he wasn't around. "I'm so sorry."

No one came to check on me. No one asked if I was okay. I just sat there on the floor crying for hours. I cried until I got too tired to cry anymore, and I fell asleep leaned up against the wall.


	15. Back in the real world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filming is over and Brooke and Vanjie continue their relationship in the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The reunion made me wanna quit writing this fic, but I powered through it and I’m back. Hope you all continue to read cause I’m gonna continue to write for sure.

Brooke Lynn's POV

I was awakened by the sound of knocking. My heart raced as I remembered where I was and what had happened the night before. Before I could even stand up, my production assistant Angela burst into the room.

"Brooke Lynn, it's almost time to go-" She paused when she saw me on the floor. "Are you okay?"

"Vanjie is gone," I explained, fighting back tears. "I lip synced against him and sent him home. He's gone."

She sat down beside me and hugged me. "I'm so sorry. At least it's over now. You can go home. I'm sure you'll see him soon."

I just nodded and sat there silently. I didn't want to talk anymore, all I wanted was Vanjie. I always hoped we'd make it to the top four together. Even if he didn't make it, I didn't think I'd have to be the one to take that away from him.

"Brooke," Angela said, bringing me back to reality. "It's time to go to the airport so you can go home."

"Oh," I stood up. "Let's go. I wanna get out of here as soon as possible."

~~~

I was finally given my phone back on the way to the airport. I saw the date on my phone and realized it had taken six weeks to film the show. No wonder it hurt so bad to be without Vanjie for one night. He'd been sleeping in my bed with me every night for about five of those six weeks. 

I immediately opened the texting app on my phone. Thankfully, there was a text from and unsaved number, which I assumed would be Vanjie. I quickly opened it, my heart racing.

**Unsaved number:** _ Hey it's Vanjie. I mean uh Jose. I miss you already. Text me as soon as you get your phone back. I love you <3 _

I saved his number in my phone and smiled, overwhelmed with happiness. He wasn't mad at me. The lip sync hadn't ruined our relationship.  _ Thank God. _ I took a deep breath and typed out my response. 

**B** : Hi, Papi. Last night was so hard for me, but we can talk about it later. I'm almost at the airport. I love you and miss you too. Talk to you after my flight.

I was dropped off at the airport by one of the production crew and I gathered up all of my luggage from the trunk. I couldn't wait to get back home to my cats and my friends, but most importantly, I couldn't wait to discuss the future of our relationship with Vanjie. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again.

~~~

I woke up just as my flight landed in Nashville, thankful to be back home. As I collected my luggage from the carousel, I pulled out my phone and ordered an Uber to my apartment. While I waited for my ride, I called my mom to let her know I was home.

"Brock?" She asked as she picked up. "You're finally home?"

"Just got off the plane in Nashville," I explained.

"How did it go, sweetheart? Did you see my video?"

The Uber pulled up and I put my luggage in the trunk before hopping in the back seat. "I have so many things to tell you. Thank you for that video. I really needed that when they brought it out. It made me cry like a big baby in front of all the competition."

"Glad you liked it, sweetie," She laughed. "Tell me everything."

"Well, I met this boy," I could feel my face turning red. "His name is Jose."

"Please tell me you finally have a boyfriend!" Mom exclaomed.

I couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. "Yes, mommy. I do. He's amazing."

"When can I meet him?” she practically squealed. “Oh, I'm so happy for you."

"Soon, I hope!" I looked out the window and saw we'd just pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex. "Don't you want to know how I did in the competition?"

"Oh, yes," She giggled. "Of course."

"I made it to the top four," I explained before thanking my Uber driver and collecting my things from the trunk. "We won't film the crowning until the season has aired. I hope you'll be able to be at the finale filming."

"That's great, Brock! I'm proud of you. I'd love to be there. It would be amazing to see you win."

She paused for a second before adding, "Did your boyfriend make it to the top four with you?"

"No, he didn't," I sighed as I rolled my luggage into the lobby. "He got very close though. He placed fifth."

"You sound sad. Did something happen?"

"It was awful," I confessed. "They made us lip sync-- one on one compete against each other and I won, which meant he got eliminated."

"I'm sorry that happened," She said quietly. "Are you two okay?"

I reached the door of my apartment with a sigh. "I think so. I had a text from him when I got my phone back saying he misses me. The feeling is mutual."

"That's good news. I hope it's going to work out. All I want is for you to be happy."

"Can I call you later?" I asked, pulling my keys out of the side of my suitcase. "I just got back to the apartment."

"Of course," she said in her sweet, motherly tone. "I'll be around whenever you need to talk."

"I love you," I replied softly. It had a completely different meaning than when I said it to my boyfriend, but I meant it just as much.

"I love you too, Brock," She said before hanging up. I slid my phone into my pocket and took a deep breath as I turned the key in the lock. I walked into my apartment and my cats Henry and Apollo came running over, giving me a real talking to -- yowling to, more like -- for being away for so long.

"Hello, my babies," I bent down, the door clicking shut behind me. "Daddy's home. I missed you guys so much."

They both meowed loudly and stood on my leg, competing for my attention by pushing each other away from my hand. I laughed as I tried my best to pet them both at the same time. When I finally had a hand free, I grabbed my phone and typed out a text to Jose.

**B:** _ I'm home now. I hope I can see you soon. I wish they had let us say goodbye to each other before we left. There's so much we need to talk about. _

Less than a minute after I hit send, my phone started ringing. It was him.

"That was fast," I laughed. "I wasn't expecting you to call so quickly."

"I miss you," He sighed into the phone.

"I miss you too. You know, I couldn't sleep last night. I passed out after crying for hours. I'm just so sorry about everything."

"Don't worry about it," He sounded like he hadn't slept in weeks. "The producers probably set it up for the drama. It's not our fault."

"I was so worried you'd hate me," I admitted. All the emotions I'd felt last night on the hotel room floor came flooding back. They built up in my chest and throat, stinging my eyes.

"I love you too much to hate you over something that we had no control over.” My heart melted hearing him be so calm and reassuring. “Don't feel guilty about sending me home. We promised each other we'd do our best and that's exactly what we did."

"I love you too," I sighed, my body wobbly with relief. "It's so good to hear your voice."

"I want to see you," He yawned sleepily.

"I'm supposed to be flying to Chicago in a couple of days to see a friend," I pulled the phone away from my ear and turned it on speaker so I could dig through my texts to confirm the date. Then I suggested, "You could fly in and stay in my hotel room with me."

He laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time we've shared a hotel room. I would love that. Let's do it."

"Did you just wake up?" I asked, connecting how deep his voice sounded and how he’d yawned a few minutes ago.

"Oh, yeah. I fell asleep after you said you were boarding. I turned my volume all the way up so I'd wake up when you texted again."

He paused for a second to yawn then added, "By the way, I found out your boy name is Brock. It fits you."

"I didn't really pin you as a Jose," I teased. "I guess I can get used to it."

His foghorn laugh rang out through the speaker of my phone. "Damn, bitch. You got me. Hey, send me a picture of your sexy ass for my phone contacts. I don't wanna look at the little default thingy no more."

"I can send a picture of my ass if you want," I laughed. "But I think the people around you who have to see it all the time would prefer my face."

"Where was all this humor in Snatch Game, bitch? You could've won if you were as funny as you're tryna be with me right now. Anyway, just send me that handsome face, baby. We can save all the other stuff for the hotel room."

"I'll send it as soon as we get off the phone," I assured him. "You send me one too."

"I will," He yawned once more. "Lemme get back to sleep. It's dark out. You go to sleep too and I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Papi," I said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight, Brock."

The biggest smile crossed my face as I ended the call. I made sure my cats had food, then headed to my bedroom to lay down. My bed was still neatly made up from when I left. I didn't even bother to turn on the light. I stripped down my boxers and slipped under the covers. It was weird not sleeping next to Jose, but it was better than sleeping on the floor. I closed my eyes and after a while, I fell asleep.

~~~

I rolled over in bed and stretched out. The sun was shining through my window. I looked over and saw Henry and Apollo laying on the other side of me on the bed. It would suck to leave them with friends again for a couple of days while I was away with Jose, but I really missed him. As much as I loved my cats, they'd survive without me for a little while longer. I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and saw I had a new text from Jose.

**Jose:** _ Good morning _

**B:** _ Good morning! You booked your flight to Chicago for tomorrow? _

**Jose:** _ I did. I can't wait to see you _

Before I could respond, another text from Jose came through.

**Jose:** _ Hey you never sent me that picture of you _

I laughed and rolled my eyes. I exited the messaging app and clicked on the camera instead. I tried different angles and facial expressions until I finally settled on one I thought looked good enough for Jose. It was just a simple picture of me laying in bed with the blankets almost up to my shoulder. I didn't try too hard to make my facial expression sexy, but I didn't try too hard not to either. I reopened our texts, sent the photo and hoped for the best.

**Jose:** _ Damn baby I wish I was in bed with you right now _

**B:** _ Don't you owe me a picture too? Lol _

**Jose:** _ Yeah whatever. Gimme a min. _

I smiled and took a deep breath, patiently waiting for him to send over a picture. I didn't know what to expect, but knowing him, it'd probably leave me begging for the time to pass until we were together again. He loved to ruthlessly tease me sometimes.

My phone dinged and I opened the photo at lightning speed. The photo featured Jose sitting on the edge of his bed in a pair of grey briefs with a rainbow waistband. They were pulled down slightly in a teasing manner. He had a towel draped around his shoulders, and he was holding one corner in his left hand and his phone in his right hand. I quickly typed out a text before I could get too mesmerized by it.

**B:** _ Fuck, Jose. Are you trying to kill me? _

I clicked on the picture again and looked over it carefully. I scanned my eyes over the body I'd come to know so well over the past six weeks. Thoughts filled my head of the things I'd done to it, and the things I wanted to do to it in that moment, and I bit my lip. My boxers tightened and I felt my hard dick pressed against my stomach. A new text notification appeared at the top of the screen and I tapped it quickly. 

**Jose:** _Did you like that, daddy? ;)_

I inhaled sharply as I felt my dick twitch. Jose knew exactly how to make me want him. It drove me crazy -- I was used to being the one in control.

**B:** _ Such a bad boy. You've got me thinking about all the dirty things I'm gonna do to you as soon as I see you tomorrow night. _

I slipped one hand into my boxers and started stroking my hard cock. I knew I would have to punish Jose for this when we were alone together. I couldn't just let him think it was okay to tease me whenever he felt like it. Another text appeared on my screen.

**Jose:** _Are you touching yourself thinking about me?_

"Fuck," I moaned and I felt my dick twitch in my hand. I almost didn't want to text back, but I thought Jose at least deserved a response considering he was the one making me feel this good in the first place.

**B:** _ I am, baby. When I see you tomorrow I'm gonna punish you for this. You couldn't have just waited like a good boy. You just had to tease me. _

I reopened the picture and let my mind get lost in thoughts of Jose. I imagined running my hands down his soft skin from his chest to his hips. I imagined leaning over and kissing his neck-

**Jose:** _ Do you have any idea how badly I want you inside me right now? _

My thumb hastily typed out a response.

**B:** _ Show me _

I stroked slowly, patiently waiting for Jose to respond. When we were filming RuPaul's Drag Race, I couldn't have imagined one of the first things we'd do after getting out would be sexting, but I didn't mind at all. A new message appeared; this time it was a video. I opened it and bit my lip when I saw it was a video of Jose touching himself. He stroked his dick fast and moaned my name as he came hard on his stomach. 

A deep moan escaped my throat and I increased my pace. I tossed my phone aside. My eyes squeezed shut as I pictured myself leaning over Jose, kissing him as I fucked him hard. Pleasure overwhelmed my body and I knew I was about to cum.

"Oh, Jose," I managed to breathe out as I came in my hand. I pulled my hand out of my boxers and stretched out across the bed as I caught my breath. I lay there for a few minutes with my eyes closed. I heard a text notification from my phone and quickly grabbed it.

**Jose:** _ Did I make you cum, baby? _

**B:** _ Yes. God, I miss you. I can't wait to see you so I can do all the things I've been thinking about. _

**Jose:** _ I miss you too. Being alone for the first time without PAs in the hall or the stress about filming is gonna be amazing. _

**B:** _ I know.  _

**B:** _ Hey, I'm gonna go eat breakfast. I'll talk to you in a little bit <3 _

**Jose:** _ Ok baby _

I jumped out of bed and stumbled sleepily over to my dresser. I changed my boxers then threw on a pair of blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. Then I grabbed my phone and made my way into the kitchen.  _ What an interesting start to my day. _


	16. What do we want this to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke and Vanjie are finally reunited after filming. Vanjie is all in, but Brooke starts to question everything.

Brooke Lynn’s POV

My plane landed in Chicago and I couldn't have been more excited. It had only been a few days since I last saw Jose on set, but I'd missed him so much in that short amount of time. His flight was scheduled for an hour after mine, so I knew I had a little bit of time before he'd arrive. 

Once I got to our hotel room, I rolled my suitcase over to the dresser and started to unpack my clothes, making sure to leave enough room for Jose's things in case he wanted to use the dresser too. I then climbed into bed and checked my phone. Nothing. I sighed and closed my eyes. Patiently waiting for Jose was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

Without even realizing it, I fell asleep. I was suddenly awakened by my phone ringing. I looked over and saw it was Jose calling. I grabbed my phone and hastily answered it.

"Hey, baby," I said, unable to contain the smile on my face. 

"I'm getting out the Uber now," I heard a car door close in the background. "I'll be up in just a minute. Now listen, when I knock on the door, you better let me in or I'm gonna whoop your ass."

I laughed. "Of course I will. I didn't have you fly out here just to leave you out in the hallway."

"Alright, Mary," Jose cackled into the phone speaker. "I'll see you in a minute."

I stood up and practically ran to the door. I felt nervous as if it were my first day of school or I was meeting a celebrity. Despite all I'd already been through with Jose, I still got the jitters when I even so much as thought about him.

As soon as I heard him knock, I threw the door open. He gasped in surprise at first, but then his expression turned into the brightest smile. I wrapped my arms around him and we hugged each other tightly. No words were necessary to express how excited we were to finally be back in each other's arms. He pulled away slightly then pressed his lips against mine. I'd nearly forgotten how soft his lips were. 

"Fuck these clothes and shit," Jose said as we pulled away. "All I need is you."

I playfully rolled my eyes and grabbed his suitcase before rolling it into the room. He picked up his duffle bag from the floor and carried it inside, closing the door behind him. 

"When I unpacked I left some room in the dresser drawers if you wanna use them for your clothes too," I smiled as I sat down on the edge bed. 

He dropped the duffle bag on up of the dresser and turned around to face me. "I can do all that later. I missed you too much to waste any more time standing over here."

Jose strolled over and straddled my lap. I grabbed his hips, looking into his earthy brown eyes. He leaned in slowly and kissed me. My hands moved around to his ass and grabbed it. Jose inhaled sharply as he moved his lips against mine. I'd been dreaming of this moment for days. All I'd wanted was for us to be together in the real world.

Jose leaned over and pressed his cheek against mine. "This is all I've been thinking about. The whole time I've been home I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I needed to see you. How much I want you inside of me."

"Don't think I've forgotten you teasing me the other day," I growled. "I'm still going to punish you."

"Do it," He whispered in my ear. 

I picked him up and lay him down on the bed. I wasted no time, climbing on top of him and leaving a trail of kisses down his neck. The feeling of need spread throughout my body like a wildfire. I could barely keep my focus long enough to get out of my clothes. Jose pulled off his shirt as my hands reached for his shorts. 

I smirked as I noticed he wasn't wearing underwear beneath his shorts. "Looks like somebody was prepared for this."

"I told you I've been thinking about it," His hands moved slowly down from my neck to my bare hips.

I leaned down and began kissing his neck again. He let out a loud moan as I bit down. As I continued kissing and biting his neck, I ran my hands down his chest and stomach tortuously slow until I reached his dick. I wrapped my hand around him and stroked slowly, causing him to squirm beneath me. 

“Hmm,” I whispered against his ear. “How should I punish a bad boy like you?”

Jose whimpered in response. I rolled him over onto his stomach and asked him to get on his hands and knees. He obeyed, quickly moving into position. I moved one hand to his shoulder and slowly drug it down to the small of his back. His body trembled beneath my fingers. I bit my lip as I watched, overwhelmed with pleasure at how much control I had over him. I continued making my way down his body until my hand reached his ass. I grabbed it roughly, earning a moan from the small Puerto Rican man. 

I leaned over and pressed my chest against his back, covering his hands with mine. “Here are the rules, Jose. No talking and no touching me or yourself. Is that clear?”

“Yes, daddy,” Jose said, breathing heavily in anticipation of what I would do next.

I reached my hand back and grabbed my dick, lining it up with Jose’s hole. We both moaned as I pushed in slowly. The three days we’d been without each other had been three days too many. The feeling of finally being inside of him again was almost too much to handle. I began thrusting torturously slow. 

“I missed you so much,” I moaned into his ear. Jose gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. However, he did exactly as he was told and neither talked nor tried to touch me or himself. I left kisses and bites all over his neck and shoulders, which made him moan. 

“Since you’ve been so good,” I placed a soft kiss on his neck before continuing. “I think we can start this thing for real. Is that what you want, baby?”

I paused for a second, remembering the rules I gave him before adding, “You can talk now.”

“Yes. Please,” He begged breathlessly.

I sat up and pulled out of him. “Come sit on my lap and face me. Forget all those rules I said earlier. I don’t care anymore. All I want right now is you.”

Jose turned around and made his way over to me. I lifted him up and sat him down on my lap, his legs on either side of me. He reached up and grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss. There was no sense of urgency or need, there was just me and Jose.

~~~

“Hey, Brock?” Jose said as he rested his head on my chest.

“Yes?”

“Say we were to stay together, like until we die and shit,” He looked up at me. “Would you want to have kids?”

I smiled at the thought of Jose and I with kids. “Yeah. That would be really nice.”

“I think so too,” He lay his arm across my chest and snuggled closer to me.

I hadn’t really considered the future much until that moment. I’d been so focused on the competition that I’d nearly forgotten that we both have lives outside of it. I thought about all of the things that could possibly happen in the future: Moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, adopting children.  _ Is that what I really want? Do I really want all of that with the only boyfriend I’ve ever had? _

I didn’t have an answer to that yet. I knew I loved Jose, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to settle down and be with the same person for the rest of my life, especially now that I was about to be on national television. However, I couldn’t tell Jose that. He seemed to love me just as much, if not more than I love him, and I didn’t want to hurt him. 

“Is everything okay, Brock?” He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. “You got really tense all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. “It was nothing.”

~~~

Jose and I sat down close to the stage so we’d have a good view of the drag show. We were here to see my good friend T-Rex. I’d been friends with him for years and Jose knew him too, mostly from online and attending RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing parties at Roscoe’s. As we waited for the show to begin, Detox sat down beside me.

“Hey, boo,” He called out excitedly as he grabbed my knee. “How have you been?”

“Extremely busy,” I laughed. “It’s good to see you though.”

“You’ve been missing for two months. I know what that means.”

Jose’s phone suddenly started ringing. He cussed at it before running outside to answer it.

“I didn’t even see Vanjie’s tiny ass sitting over there,” Detox exclaimed.

“Oh yeah,” I blushed and looked away. “He’s here with me.”

“Really?” He asked. “What’s the tea on that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know how much I can say without breaking my NDA.”

“You and Vanjie are fucking!” Detox burst out laughing. “I can’t believe this!”

“Shhhh!” I whisper-yelled at him. “We started seeing each other during filming, so we can’t really talk about it until the season airs.”

“I’m not gonna tell anyone,” He said, both of us looking up as Jose returned to his seat. “Just know that if I’m at any viewing parties while it’s airing, I’m telling everyone I saw you two here together.”

“Brock,” Jose interrupted as he leaned into closer to me. “I just got off the phone with my manager. I have to go on tour in a few days.”

I sighed. “How long are you going to be gone?”

“Two or three months. I’ll have days off here and there, but not a ton.”

“Oh,” I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. “Let’s talk about it more after the show, okay?”

Even though I tried to be calm and collected in that moment, I knew everything was about to change for us. His original season had still been airing when we went to filming, so I should’ve known he’d have to start touring right after we got back. Somehow it still caught me off guard. I didn’t want to be without Jose for months. I didn’t want to only see him one night every couple of weeks. I wanted him by my side every day and laying next to me in bed every night. 

~~~

“How are we gonna make this work, Jose?” I said from the bathroom as I changed out of my day clothes and into my sweatpants. I walked back into the bedroom and threw my clothes on the floor beside the bed.

“I don’t know,” He groaned. “I just know I really want it to work. I love you too much to give up just because I’m traveling a lot.”

“I love you too, but I literally have no clue how to make a relationship work under  _ normal _ circumstances, let alone when I’ll see you maybe four days a month for the next two or three months.”

“Don’t you dare break up with me right now, Brock,” Jose said quietly from the bed, looking down at the floor. “Not after everything we’ve been through just to be together. We risked everything during filming not knowing whether we’d be kicked out or not.”

“Then tell me what to do to make things work,” I sat down on the bed with a sigh.

“We can see each other every day that I’m off. You can even come to some of my shows and stuff. I’m sure I’ll be in Nashville or Toronto at some point and you can come see me. I won’t be on tour forever, Brock, I-”

“Okay,” I cut him off. “We’ll try to make things work.”

“Really?” He asked as I got under the covers and scooted towards him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Yes, baby. I’m sorry that I freaked out over your tour schedule. I didn’t think you’d have to leave so quickly after we got back from filming. You’re my first boyfriend, and I’ve never had to try to work someone else’s schedule into my life before. Being in a relationship for the first time is so scary for me.”

“It’s okay,” Jose whispered and kissed my cheek. “I understand. I think maybe now is a good time to tell you why I freaked out so much about Plastique flirting with you.”

I rested my chin on top of his head and waited for him to tell his story. He took a deep breath and snuggled closer to me. I could feel his breath on my neck as he gently rested his head against my jawline.

“The guy I was with before you...hurt me in more ways than one. I knew it was a toxic relationship, but I was scared to leave. I’d moved in with him, so I was scared I’d be homeless if I left him. I was also worried that I’d never find someone else, so I stayed and just dealt with all the pain for a while. One day I just couldn't take it anymore and left. If my drag mother hadn't let me move in with her, I probably would've ended up homeless for a while. Sometimes when we argue, it’s like I go back to that place in my head and I freak out.”

“I would never do anything to hurt you,” My heart broke at the thought of ever hurting him.

“I know that,” He sighed. “I just get so scared of losing you that I shut down and push you away.”

“I’ve never really been in love before, but I know that I love you, Jose. I’ve had crushes before, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. I don’t want to lose this even though I know you being on tour is going to be incredibly difficult to deal with.”

“Don’t worry anymore about that right now,” Jose said followed by a yawn. “Let’s just get some rest.”


	17. I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you

Brooke Lynn's POV

Jose and I have been trying to make our relationship work for four months now, but it's just not working for me. Being tied down to someone I barely ever see drives me insane. I still love him, but I have needs and I need to be free from this relationship. I can't be with someone I never get to see. 

Jose was visiting me in Nashville before he had to head off on another tour. He'd be heading to the airport in a few hours, so I felt as though I had to act quickly. I felt like it'd be cruel to break up with him over the phone, so I wanted to do it before he had to leave.

"Jose," I sighed deeply as I walked into my bedroom to find him playing with Henry on the floor.  "I need to talk to you about something."

Jose threw one of Henry's cat toys for him to chase after and stood up. "What is it, baby?"

"I don't think I can do this anymore," My heart broke actually hearing the words out loud.

"Can't do what anymore, Brock?" He asked cooly as he walked over to me.

"I tried, Jose, okay? It really sucks sitting around waiting for you to get back from tours and getting to see you only when you're not too exhausted from the show the night before to fly in. Do you know how hard it is for me when I go out and people are hitting on me, but I can't take anyone home because I know you're halfway across the world somewhere trusting that I'm just going to wait for you to come back? My entire adult life I've just gone out and fucked whoever I wanted to.” I’ve worked myself up, I’m frustrated. My voice is hard. “Sometimes this relationship feels like a prison and I have to get out before it drives me crazy."  _ Before I hurt you any more. _

Jose took a few steps back. The look of shock and hurt on his face was almost too much for me to bear. He looked into my eyes and I could see the tears already forming in his own. I can see it behind his eyes, I’m breaking his heart. I love him, and if it was anyone else making his face do that, I’d want to punch them. But it’s me, breaking his heart, me, twisting a dagger into my own chest. I hate this every bit as much as I knew I would. Even though I stand by everything I just said to him.

"I thought you loved me," His voice cracked as tears ran down his cheek. The dagger twisted.

"I do,” I insisted. “And I always will," I reached out to grab his hand, but he quickly pulled away. "But I can't handle all of the touring. You're a big deal, I get it, but why should I have to sacrifice my freedom because you walked backwards and said your name three times?"

"Do you not remember what we just finished filming  a few months ago? You got to be on television too. That's how our whole relationship even started. Once season eleven airs, you'll be touring all the time too. A lot of that time, we'll be touring together. VH1 is gonna milk the hell out of our relationship for ratings, so we'll probably be together all the time. Do you really wanna make that hard on both of us by breaking up with me before people even know we're dating? Once the fans see us on TV together, they're going to harass us every second of every day until that NDA finally lets us say if we're still together or not. What the fuck am I supposed to do, Brock? Pretend like we're still happily in love while I'm all alone and wondering-- no --  _ knowing  _ you're out fucking other guys?"

_ He’s being ridiculous now. _ "You can't tell me you don't want take home some hot guy when you're on tour." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I don't!" Jose screamed, a stream of tears still flowing from his eyes. "I love you with everything that I am. I'd hate myself if the thought of cheating on you ever even crossed my mind. I can't believe you would stand in front of me and say you think about it all the time. You disgust me, Brock!"

"Just go, Jose," I growled, anger overtaking me. "Get your stuff and get out. Now."

"Fuck you!" He said as he stormed past me. "I can't believe I ever loved a manwhore like you."

"It's been over for months. I don't know how you didn't see that. I stayed because you begged me to back in Chicago. I should've broken up with you as soon as Drag Race was over. Better yet, I should've never asked you out after the first time we had sex. I should've just fucked you and left like I wanted to."

"I hate you!" Jose half screamed, half sobbed from the living room. "I wouldn't care if I never saw you again. I wanted to marry you someday and have kids together. I thought that's what you wanted too, but fuck all of that! You even introduced me to your mother, but I guess none of it matters now, does it? Thanks for wasting my time."

With that, he slammed the front door and he was gone. Immediately I felt this gross, sinking feeling. I hadn't meant all of that horrible stuff I said to him, but he'd just made me so angry that it'd just come out. I felt sick. I'd just thrown out the only man I'd ever loved and probably crushed any chance I had of getting him back in the future. I'd only needed time apart until things calmed down with his schedule--  _ a break, Brock! That’s all you had to ask for! _ Instead I'd burned all my bridges with no hope of ever going back. I ran to the bathroom and crouched down by the toilet as I felt overbearing nausea coming over me. I threw up for what felt like hours. 

When I couldn't throw up anything else, I lay on the floor and sobbed. As I replayed the fight in my head, my thoughts surrounded me.  _ What have you done, Brock? Why did you emotionally destroy the person you care about most? You're so selfish. _

I heard my phone ringing in my pocket, but I didn't bother to reach for it. I knew it wouldn't be Jose asking to come back. It would probably never be Jose again. It finally stopped ringing, but almost immediately started again. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. Through my tears, I could see Nina West's name on my screen. I answered it.

"Brock, what the hell is going on?" He asked. "Jose just called me and said you broke up with him and kicked him out. Wait, are you crying?"

"I'm a horrible person," I managed to get out. "I said the most disgusting things to him, and I didn't mean a single word of it."

"Everything is going to be okay. Just calm down. I'm here for you and I'll help you however I can."

"I can't," I gasped for breath, realizing too late I’m now in a full on panic attack. "I can't. I can't."

"Brock, you have to calm down," His soft voice said through the speaker. "Remember how to ground yourself. Five things you see, four things you can feel, three things you hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste."

As I went through the process, my breathing steadied and I stopped crying. Nina had been my friend for over ten years, so of course he knew exactly what to do. He'd seen so many panic attacks over the years.

"If you're ready, can you tell me what happened with Jose?" He asked calmly.

"I couldn't handle it anymore. He's always gone and I'm stuck here missing him. I couldn't even use my usual coping strategy of fucking every man in sight because-"

"I've told you to stop doing that anyway," Nina interrupted. "You're gonna catch something."

"I know, I know. I just wanted that kind of freedom until his schedule calmed down. I was going to try and get back together with him in a few months, but then we started yelling at each other and now I've ruined everything. I told him we should've never been together and that I originally only wanted him for sex. I didn't mean that, but he probably hates me now. In fact, he screamed it so loudly that my whole apartment building probably knows he hates me, and they know he’s right to."

"Oh my God," Nina gasped. "Why'd you say that to him?"

"I don't know," I sniffled and sat up. "I was just really angry. I let it go way too far and it's too late to fix it."

"How do you know it's too late?" He asked. "Maybe you can talk to him later and tell him you didn't mean it. Right now you just need to give him some time to calm down."

~~~

I haven't seen Jose in months. We haven't spoken at all since we broke up. However, we'd gotten word that the cast of season eleven would be revealed soon, so I knew I'd at least have to see him. There were so many times when I'd wanted to talk to him and apologize, but I hadn't ever gotten the courage to do it. I'd spent most of my time in clubs getting blackout drunk and sleeping with any man that caught my eye. I didn't care who as long as I could get my mind off of Jose for the night.

I sat in my hotel room getting ready for the live cast reveal. I was so nervous about seeing Jose, but I knew I had to concentrate and make the fans love me. First impressions can mean a lot in the Drag Race community. If the fans don't like you, your every move will be scrutinized for the rest of your life. 

When I was completely in Drag, I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I knew in that moment that I couldn't run away from my problems anymore. I had to face Jose and all the anger I was sure he had towards me. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I took a deep breath and nervously made my way to the door.

"Time to head to set," A production assistant that I hadn't met before said as I opened the door. I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me.

~~~

"Are you gonna talk to him?" Nina asked as we all stood backstage together. 

I looked over at Jose and sighed. "I don't know. Should I?"

"Uh, yes!" He exclaimed. "You guys need to make up. Like immediately. At least get on speaking terms."

I looked over at him again. He was standing with Akeria and Silky, laughing and making jokes. He looked happy, and seeing him that way made me happy and made my heart ache. I wished I was still the one making him smile. I wished seeing me wouldn’t ruin it.

"He had a new boyfriend, you know," Yvie interjected. "They were only together for a couple weeks and they broke up because he's still not over you."

"Really?" I asked. 

"Yeah, girl. I don't know what it is about you, but he just loves you so much. I don't think he'd ever be able to be happy with someone else."

"You should go talk to him," Nina added. "He might be angry at first because you haven't ever apologized for what you said, but he'll forgive you."

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves, then I moved over to where Jose was standing with his friends. They both looked at me like I'd kicked a puppy, which made me even more nervous. 

"Uh, Jose," I looked directly at him to avoid the glares of Silky and Akeria. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," Jose shrugged.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him off to the side. I looked at his expression as I let go of his hand, trying to guess how mad he was.

"I owe you a huge apology-"

"Fuck yeah you do," Jose crossed his arms.

"I didn't mean all those things I said," I told him softly. "I don't even know why they came out. It was just a heat of the moment thing. I wanted to get it over with so that I didn't have to convince myself that I wanted to break up."

His facial expression changed from angry to confused. "Wait, you didn't want to break up with me?"

"No, not at all," I grabbed his hand. "What I wanted was a break. It just didn't feel like the right time for us. I dunno, maybe we even got into a relationship too quickly."

“I’m supposed to believe that after all the shitty things you said?” Jose asked. “You may be telling the truth-- maybe you didn’t mean what you said, but you let me believe it for months. You really hurt me, Brock.”

“Jose, I swear I didn’t mean any of it,” I started to break down inside. “I fell in love with you from the moment I met you. I could’ve never been so cold as to just have a one night stand and then never speak to you again. I’ve done that to so many people, I would have if I wanted to, but I could never do that to you. I still love you and I always will. I just need all the stress of our crazy lives to settle down before we can figure this shit out.”

"Are you saying you wanna get back together?" He asked with a serious expression.

"Yes," I took a deep breath. "I want us to just be friends for a while first though. When the season airs, we'll be on tour a lot. Sometimes together, sometimes not. I think we should wait until our schedules die down a bit before we even consider getting back together."

"Okay," Jose nodded. "I'm cool with that."

"Good. Well, I'll see you after we're done here, right?"

"Yeah," He said. As I walked away, I heard, "You look real sexy in that outfit."

I laughed. All felt right with the world again.

~~~

"They want us to do what?" I asked Jose as we sat at a table in a restaurant in Los Angeles. I was there visiting him a couple days before I had to go to Toronto to host a viewing party for the first episode.

"Production wants us to pretend like we're still together until the reunion," He sighed.

"Why?" Something about it didn't sit right with me.

"They said if people think we're still together," Jose explained. His voice sounded far away. "They'll want to keep watching to find out."

"So basically they want to exploit our relationship for views."

"Pretty much," He shrugged. "I didn't say it was right, I'm just telling you what they told me."

"What do you think about it?" I looked at him as I took a sip of my drink.

"I mean…" Jose sighed and leaned on the table. "I'm not against it, but I'm worried I might get too invested in it... end up just as disappointed as everyone else when we have to tell them we've been broken up for months."

I shifted nervously in my seat. I didn't want to hurt Jose again, but I knew my best chance at the crown would be doing anything and everything I was asked to do by VH1 and World of Wonder. "How much time do we have to decide?"

"We have until the third episode," He explained. "That's the first time we kissed on camera."

It had been so long since we filmed that I'd nearly forgotten what happened. I wasn't sure if we were ready to watch our relationship play out on television, much less pretend like we were still together. However, I felt obligated to do whatever was asked of me. It was an internal battle I didn't know if I could win.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Jose. If you don't want to-"

"I'm not a child, Brock," Jose cut me off. "I can handle myself. If I wanna destroy myself emotionally just to get the fans to love me, then let me do that. Do you think they'd let you win if you tell them you don't wanna do it? I mean, they're probably gonna make our relationship the main focus of the season. If they weren't, we wouldn't have had to lip sync against each other."

"Hey," I said softly and put my hand on his arm. "Relax. It's okay. If that's what they want us to do, let's do it. We're friends now, right? It can be like… friendly flirting. If it ever gets too much for you, we can talk about it and reign it back in a little."

Jose laughed. "Alright. At least we got a few weeks to mentally prepare before we actually gotta do it."

"Exactly," I smiled. "We can do it."


	18. Chapter 18

Brooke Lynn's POV

The time finally arrived that we'd have to start flirting online. RuPaul’s Drag Race released a preview clip of us kissing this morning, and the fans were already losing their minds. It was March 14th, a day I’ll never forget, the day the internet finally found out about us. Watching that clip brought back so many emotions for me. It was the first time I’d seen it from a fan’s perspective, but it also felt like living it all over again. That moment, that little kiss, brought me back to the very beginning of our relationship. It was before we started dating. Before we even told each other our feelings. It was way before I messed everything up.

I retweeted pretty much everything that RuPaul’s Drag Race, World of Wonder, and the fans tagged me in. I also commented flirty comments and heart emojis on anything Jose posted on Instagram. Although it was all for fanservice, the way we interacted felt so real. I closed Instagram and typed out a text to Jose.

**B:** _ How are you feeling? _

**Jose:** _ I'm okay. You? _

**B:** _ Yeah I'm fine. _

**Jose:** _ Good. We can do this. _

**B:** _ Everything is gonna be alright :) _

~~~

We finally got to see each other on Easter. I'd wanted to go home to see my mom for the holiday, but she said Jose and I needed to stop avoiding each other if we were ever going to get back together. I knew she was right, and that's how I ended up in LA instead of Toronto.

"Hi," Jose greeted me with a smile as he opened the door of his apartment.

"How have you been?" I asked.

He stepped away from the door so I could carry my luggage inside. "I've been good. How about you?"

"I've been good too," I smiled. I thought about how lovely it was to be on good terms with him.

"Trixie and some of my friends asked us to go out with them tonight," Jose said as I sat down at his kitchen table.

"That should be fun," I said, before noticing he wasn't excited about it. "Are you worried about something?"

"You know the fans will go crazy when they see us," He sighed. "And we can't tell people we're not together right now because we'll break the NDA and get in trouble." 

I stood up and pulled him into a hug. "It's gonna be over soon, Jose. Remember, if it gets to be too much for you we can stop."

"I can handle it," Jose huffed, resting his head on my shoulder. "I just wish we didn't have to pretend like we're happy."

It hit me because I  _ was _ happy. But I understood what he meant. "I know," I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not just you," He looked up at me. "I expected too much from you. I've had such a bad experience with past relationships that if the past keeps repeating itself… maybe it's unrealistic for me to keep hoping for a fairytale."

"Listen to me, Jose," I cupped his cheeks in my hands. "You are amazing and you deserve all of those things you want whether I'm ever able to give them to you or not."

Jose sighed and put his hands over mine. "Even if that's true, I only want that life with you, Brock."

"Maybe one day," I nearly choked on the lump in my throat. "We just can't right now."

"I know that." Jose pulled away, leaving me standing alone in his kitchen.

~~~

We decided we'd go hang out with his friends after all. It was awesome to finally get to meet the legendary Trixie Mattel. Surprisingly, she seemed just as excited to meet me. Trixie and I watched the dancers together, and even though I couldn't see Jose through the crowd in the dark, I could feel his jealousy brewing.

I heard his voice getting close and turned around to see him walking towards me. As he stopped beside me, I saw he was on Instagram live. He turned his head towards me. As soon as I turned to look at him, he turned back towards the camera. When I turned back as well, he turned to me and kissed my forehead. I didn't know whether he was doing it for the fans or if it was real, but I knew from the pang in my gut that I didn't want to be just friends anymore. At least not for the night.

~~~

Later, back at his apartment, Jose admitted what I already suspected. "I got so jealous tonight watching you with those guys at the club," Jose said as he closed the door behind us.

I laughed. "I know. You kissed my head on Instagram live like you were claiming me for everyone to see."

"I was," He stepped closer to me. "Even though we may not be together right now, you're still mine."

Knowing what we both wanted in that moment, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips against his. It was the first time we'd kissed in months, but it still felt the same; it still felt so right. My heartbeat slowed, relaxing into him like a hot bath. Our lips moved together slowly and softly, like we had all the time in the world.

"Wait," I pulled away. "Jose, we can't do this."

"Why not?" He whispered, his eyes still on my lips.

"It's too soon. I don't want you to get hurt again."

He sighed and turned to lean on the kitchen table. "Damn it, Brock. Sometimes it feels like you're torturing me."

"I'm sorry," I tried to put my hand on his back, but he moved out of reach. "I thought I might be ready, but I'm not. Kissing you still feels so right, but I can't risk things ending again, especially not as bad as they did before."

"Why did you kiss me?" He crossed his arms. 

"I don't know," I ran my fingers through my hair. "Maybe I thought it'd feel different than it did before. Or maybe I just needed to feel that feeling again."

"Don't play with my feelings," He turned away and tilted his head up, fighting tears "I can handle the online flirting we have to do, but I can't handle it if it's real. You can't just kiss me like that. If you're not ready to be more than friends, don't do anything that suggests you are."

. The long forgotten knife in my chest that first showed up in our relationship-ending fight struck me again, as if nothing had changed. I stepped towards him slowly,  my voice ragged. "I didn't mean to mess with your head. I just wanted to kiss you, so I did. Please don't cry."

"It's fine," He took a deep breath. "Just forget about it."

~~~

The reunion finally came. Jose and I were so ready for everyone to know about our breakup. We couldn’t bear to pretend anymore. It had been hard on both of us, but it was especially hard on Jose. There had been a few nights when he'd almost told the truth, the most recent was a few days ago. Some nights he'd get really drunk and post depressing songs or old photos of us. Some nights he'd say that he wished everyone knew what was going on.

"Now, the world is dying to know," RuPaul looked back and forth between Jose and I. "Are you two still a couple?"

Although we'd both been waiting to be able to answer that question for months, hearing it out loud hit us both harder than we expected. We couldn't seem to get the words out. I looked over at Jose, who was looking back at me with a sad expression on his face. He looked like he might burst into tears at any second, so I knew I had to steel myself and say it.

"No." I looked away from Jose so I wouldn't get emotional. "We are not."

"Why not?" RuPaul asked.

I took a deep breath before continuing. There was a burn in my throat I couldn’t let Ru or Jose or anyone else see. "We dated for about four months after the show and we tried to make it work, but our schedules were just very different. He was traveling all the time, I wasn't traveling at all, so we never really saw each other and... it was scary for me."

Jose nodded, looking down at the floor. I didn't want him to hurt anymore, but I knew we had to just get it over with.

"What does being in a relationship mean to you?" RuPaul asked. "Does that mean you're committed to one another?"

"Yeah," I said very matter-of-factly. 

"Or can you date other people?"

"It wasn't just that," I explained. "The number one thing that's always been important to me is my freedom. I've always wanted to be free to be able to do what I wanna do." Jose was glaring at me now. I kept going, trying to take more of this weight on my own shoulders. "So to factor somebody else into my life plans and just have the feeling like I could never... look at somebody else and find them attractive or ever flirt with somebody else, that really scared me. I was starting to feel stifled."

Jose rolled his eyes, his energy all static and bitterness. I knew he'd be mad at me for a while.

"It was hard because I really do care for Vanjie a lot," That was the first time in over nine months I'd said his drag name instead of his real name. "And I still have a lot of love for him."

"Vanjie," RuPaul turned his attention to Jose. "You said that you wanted that Nicholas Sparks, 'The Notebook.'"

"Yes," Jose finally spoke for the first time in what felt like hours. "I'm a romantic at heart and when it comes to stuff like that-"

"I love that about you.” The words flew out of my mouth. I wanted to compliment him, make him feel better. It didn’t work.

"Don't play," He said coldly. He  _ was _ mad at me, and he was done pretending, for anyone. "I wanted that 'The Notebook' experience and I was getting a Post-It."

I had to laugh at that statement. It was the most random thing to say, but very true to Jose's personality. It's one thing, among many, that I've always been drawn to about him.

"That's why we're on good terms," Jose explained, his expression flat. "We recognized it early and it is what it is. We had different views."

"What was it like to relive it on television?" RuPaul looked back over to me.

"Honestly, that's been really nice," I smiled. "It was a really nice moment for me. It's a great memory to have and like I said I'll always love him. I really do have a love for him."

"You know I love you too," Jose said quietly.

"I'm just really happy we can still be friends," I continued. 

I stopped talking once people started saying they doubted my feelings for Jose when we were filming. It especially hurt to hear it from Nina and Jose. I defended myself without even knowing what I was saying. I was so hurt that I just went into defense mode. By the next question, I didn’t even remember what I’d said.

"Do you want to get back together?" RuPaul asked, first to Jose, but when Jose didn't answer, he turned expectantly to me.  _ I’m the mouthpiece of this relationship now I guess. _

"I'm not going to say never," I looked over at Jose. "I still have feelings for you and I know you still have feelings for me. Just as long as we always have love for each other, anything is possible."

"Let me give him a hug," Jose stood up and speed-walked over to me. I pulled him close, off the floor as I leaned back, playfully hooking a leg around him. The other queens let out a chorus of 'Awww' as he kissed me and we hugged. 

"This ain't fake motherfuckers," Jose yelled at the camera. I laughed away some of the built-up tension, at last knowing everything would be okay.


	19. Things are changing

By the time the season eleven tour started, I knew I couldn't be just friends with Jose anymore. We both needed more than that and it was driving us crazy. 

"Jose," I said as he sat on the edge of the bed in my hotel room. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Jose, who was still in full drag after a show, moved closer to me.

"Us," I sat up in bed. "I don't know if I'm ready to get back together, but I need something more than this."

"So what are you asking for?" Jose sighed.

"I don't know," I grabbed his hands. "Friends with benefits maybe."

"Are you gonna stop sleeping around?" Jose asked. "At least until this tour is over? I don't wanna see you with someone else."

"Yes, fine," I took his hand in mine. "Whatever you want, baby."

"Can we just start small?" Jose leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"What do you mean?" I smiled, looking up at him.

"Like maybe start with blowing each other," He said. "Then after a while we can start fucking again."

"Sounds like a plan to me," I cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

Jose shifted on the bed and climbed on top of me. He kissed me again, his hand wandering down from my pecs to my stomach. I desperately wanted to feel his touch again. It had been so long since we had sex of any kind that I'd nearly forgotten what it was like. Nearly.

He hastily pulled my shorts off and moved down my body. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Please."

I moaned as I felt his warm mouth around my dick. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he bobbed his head up and down. Drunk sex with strangers is nothing compared to sex with someone you love. I pulled on his hair the closer I got to coming. 

"Fuck," I threw my head back as I felt myself go over the edge. "Jose."

Jose sat up and turned his attention towards the door. "Shit, Brock. I think one of the queens caught us."

"What?" My thoughts moved like sludge.

Jose got off the bed and moved towards the door. "I thought I heard a voice."

"Where is Vanjie?" I heard from the hallway. It sounded like Asia O'hara.

"Um why are you in Brooke Lynn's room?" The voice came again when Jose opened the door, still in drag. "What's going on in there?"

I froze and watched as Asia tried to push her way into the room. Jose pushed her back out and stepped into the hallway.

"Hurry up and get dressed," He said to me before closing the door behind him. "Five minutes. Come on."

I thought he would come back once he got rid of Asia, but I got a text message instead.

**Jose:** _ Dumb bitch Asia caught us and she wouldn't go away. She was recording on her phone when I came out _

**Jose:** _ I'll be back later _

**B:** _ Sometimes I forget we had a very public relationship. it's been over a lot longer for us than the viewers. _

**B:** _ Of course the queens would be trying to catch us together so they can get all the social media attention _

**Jose:** _ It'll be alright. We'll figure it out _

And, when I read that message, I let the anxiety in my throat dissolve. Jose said it’ll be alright, so it will. I forgot how he has an easy override to my head. I wonder if it’s healthy.

~~~

A couple days later, Jose got sick. He still came our show out of drag to support the rest of us, not wanting to disappoint. When it was over, instead of going out for drinks with the girls, I followed him back to his room. He insisted that he'd be alright on his own, that it was just a cold but I insisted.

"I'm fine," Jose whined as he laid down on his bed.

I took my wig off with a sigh. "Just let me take care of you."

"Friends with benefits don't take care of each other when they're sick," Jose huffed.

"If they're working towards a relationship," I reminded him. “They do.” I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and brought it to him. "You need to stay hydrated."

Jose took the bottle from me and took a few sips from it. Then he placed it on his nightstand and laid back on the bed. "You're going to get sick if you stay. Everyone is gonna know you caught it off me."

"I don't care," I laid down beside him. "You're sick and you need me."

"I told you I'm fine," He groaned.

"Just shut up," I laughed and pressed my lips against his. "I'm not going anywhere no matter how much you protest."

"Fine," Jose sighed. I reached over him and grabbed the liquid Nyquil from his nightstand. I poured some into the little cup for him and made him take it, ignoring every protest. Within the hour, he was snoring next to me.

~~~

I guess getting sick was inevitable. I was at home when I came down with Jose’s crud, so it wasn’t as bad as it would have been on tour, but it also meant Jose wasn't around to take care of me.  _ I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself _ , I thought.  _ I don't need a boyfriend to take care of me. _

As soon as the fans found out I was sick, they immediately knew I'd gotten it from Jose. It's all anyone talked about. Even Nina talked about it at a gig. 

**Jose:** _ I'm so sorry I got you sick babe _

**B:** _ i told you when you had it that I was gonna take care of you even if I caught it from you. _

**Jose:** _ I know but I'm not there to take care of you its not fair _

**B:** _I'll be alright by myself_

**Jose:** _ I miss you _

**B:** _ I'll see you pretty soon tho _

~~~

The summer flew by in a series of pride events and short tours. Jose and I got to see each other a lot because we often got booked together or at least in the same city. The more time I spent with him, the less I wanted to ever be with someone else.

By the end of the summer, I was exhausted. Thankfully, I had a nice break in my schedule to recover from Pride season. That break also gave me all the time in the world to think about Jose. I knew I had to do something soon, while the time still felt right, otherwise he might end up with someone else. I picked up my phone and started rehearsing what I wanted to say to him.

**B:** _ Jose I've been thinking about moving to LA _

**Jose:** _ So we finally gonna live on the same side of the country, huh _

I took a deep breath. Knowing what I was going to say next made my palms sweaty.

**B:** _ The reason I'm bringing it up is because I was thinking that would be the perfect time for us to finally get back together. _

**B:** _ Maybe even live together. _

I decided I’d rent out a hotel room just in case, but I at least had to try. Once I knew everything was going to work out, I’d cancel it.

**Jose:** _ For real? _

**B:** _ Yes _

**Jose:** _ This ain't a joke? _

**B:** _ No. It's been almost a year since we broke up, but I still think about you every single day. _

**B:** _ I miss you and I need you _

**Jose:** _ How soon are you wanting to move in with me? _

**B:** _ If you want me to move in, I swear to god I'll start packing right this second _

**Jose:** _ Damn you better get off the phone then cause it sounds like you've got a lot of packing to do ;) _

**B:** _ Really? You want this? _

**Jose:** _ Duh! I love you _

**B:** _ I love you too _

For the first time in a long time, I cried. Happy tears instead of all the sad ones that had fallen since Jose and I broke up. I held my phone to my chest and sighed happily. Finally, I felt everything was falling into place.

~~~

"I think we've unpacked all your shit," Jose leaned against the kitchen counter. 

"Do you think Henry and Apollo are going to get along with Riley?" I asked, looking over at my cats, who were cautiously investigating their new home.

"They better," Jose laughed. "I wouldn't want us to have to break up again because the kids tear us apart."

I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Me either, baby."

Jose leaned back into my embrace."What do you wanna do tonight to celebrate moving in together?" "Let's watch a movie," I kissed his cheek. "I'm too tired to do anything else.” I knew he was too.

"What do you wanna watch?"

"Well," I thought for a second. "I heard the live action Aladdin movie was really good."

"I thought I was dating Brooke Lynn, not Ariel," Jose turned towards me, a smirk on his face.

"Oh really?" I pressed my lips against his. "I bet Ariel wouldn't make you feel nearly as good as I do."

"We can do all that later," He laughed. "Lets see how good this movie really is."

~~~

We sat down on the couch together and Jose turned on the movie. We didn't get very far into it before we lost interest in the plot in favor of getting close to each other. I slowly ran my hand up his thigh and kissed his neck, resting my head between his shoulder and jaw.

"Don't you want to finish this?" Jose laughed.

"Nah," I whispered in his ear. "I'd rather listen to you scream my name while I fuck you, baby."

"Mmm," He turned his head and kissed me. "Then let's go see how you like our bed."

I picked Jose up bridal-style and carried him into the bedroom. I lay him down on what was formerly his bed, but was now ours, and climbed on top of him. We kissed hungrily as if the world would end if we didn't hurry. My lips marked the territory between his neck and collarbone, making sure to pay special attention to the spots I know drive him crazy.

We were out of our clothes soon enough, Jose was growing more impatient by the second. With every kiss on his neck, he dug his nails into my back. I reached down and fingered his hole as I continued kissing along his jaw, nibbling at his ear. He moaned as my fingers brushed his prostate.

"Brock, please," Jose begged. "Just fuck me."

That was all I needed to hear. I sat up and positioned myself at his hole. He moaned as I pushed into him, carefully at first because of the time we’d spent apart. Once I was in, however, I thrust hard and fast, his choked moans only encouraged me to keep going. 

"Fuck," I leaned down and kissed him. "I missed you so much."

Jose only moaned in response. He was breathing heavily and digging into my back, so I moved my hand down to stroke him in time with my thrusts. His moans only became louder, more desperate, until finally he came in my hand, coating my stomach.

I pulled out still hard and pressed my lips against his. Jose’s mouth was sleepy but his hand wasn't as he wrapped his hand around my dick and pumped it as quickly as he could. I moaned into the kiss, feeling myself getting close. I thrust into his hand to create more friction and let out a deep groan as I came hard.

"It feels great to finally do that as a couple again," I said when I regained the ability to speak.

"I hope we stay together this time." Jose rolled over on his side and yawned, reaching out to interlace our fingers. "I love you too much to let you go again."

I pressed my stomach against his back. "I hope we do too."

I wrapped my arm around his waist and kissed his shoulder, our fingers still connected. Being back with Jose felt coming home after a long time away. He'd always known I was the only one for him, and although it took me a little longer to find out, I knew too. The only confirmation I needed was the feeling in my chest as we lay in bed in our shared apartment that he was the one for me too.


	20. After all this time, I'm still into you

I never ended up using that hotel room.

It's been three years since I moved in with Jose. I never thought when we made this decision that years down the line we’d still be very much in love. It was this past year, when I threw my back out and the doctor said “well that happens as we get older” when I was staring at the ceiling, as it was the only thing I could do, and having Jose take care of me, that I realized I need to marry him. I need to marry Jose and I need to have kids while I’m still able to take care of them. And I know that Jose is ready to be married. I just hope he’ll settle for marrying me.

The day before, me and Nina were sipping martinis sitting on our couch late at night, staying up to wait for Jose to get home from a gig. He’s still in high demand, and so am I, but after that spell and not being able to move, I’ve actually been taking everyone’s advice for once on vacation time.

"Is everything going according to plan for tomorrow night so far?" asked Nina. 

"As far as I can tell." I lean my head over the top of the cushions, smiling like an idiot. "I can't believe this is actually happening."

"Me either," Nina laughed. "I never imagined you getting married. Jose? Absolutely. You? I thought you were gonna be the gay Hugh Heffner."

"The internet jokes that I've turned Jose from a ho into a housewife," I shifted on the couch into a more comfortable position. I trace little patterns on the upholstery, the ghosts of memories of Jose and I on this couch through the years dancing in and out of my mind without any one taking over. "But honestly, it's the other way around. Before I met him, I would've never even thought about getting married."

Nina smiled. "I'm so glad I've been able to be your friend through it all. It’s magical, watching this change take place in you."

"It sure has been a long time," I shook my head. "We're both getting old now."

"We started old,” remarks Nina. “Old in gay years, anyway. And Jose is still young and wild."

"Isn't that the fucking truth," I laughed and clucked to Apollo, who was stalking the edges of the living room. "Sometimes I lay in bed feeling like death because my back is killing me and he'll just be in here, chasing the cats. I swear, he's an adult toddler."

"I'm glad you were able to bring them with you," Nina said as Apollo jumped up to sit in his lap. "I'd miss the little cuties too much if you hadn't."

"If I couldn't bring my babies, I wouldn't have moved in. We would've had to figure something else out. They love it here though and they actually get along with his dog Riley, so it all works out."

"Bitch, I'm home," Jose yelled as he walked through the front door, his voice bouncing off every wall and light fixture in the apartment. Riley woke up and came bolting out of the bedroom, his nails scratching along the floor. Jose seemed then to notice our guest. "Oh, hey Nina."

"I wish my boyfriend would call me bitch as soon as he got home," Nina laughed. 

Jose rolled his eyes playfully. "Gotta have a boyfriend first." Nina held up his hands as if to say ‘got me there’.

"How was your show, baby?" I asked as he plopped down on my lap.  Riley pounced on Jose's arm and licked his face.

"It was good," He picked Riley up and held him to his chest, petting him. "I'm tired as fuck though."

"If you wanna go ahead and go to bed, I don't mind," I kissed his cheek softly. "I'll be there in a little bit."

"You sure?" Jose asked.

"Yeah. Go get some rest."

"Goodnight," He leaned back and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Nina."

"Goodnight," Nina and I both said.

"I love that man so much," I sighed as I watched Jose close the bedroom door behind him.

“You said  _ everyone _ else is gonna be there tomorrow?" Nina asked.

"Yep," I smiled, confident despite Nina’s skepticism. "It's gonna be like another season eleven reunion."

"You're not gonna announce another breakup are you?" Nina joked.

"I hope not. It was hard enough the first time."

"Well, I'm gonna let you guys get some sleep. My Lyft is here," Nina said, standing up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be safe," I called after Nina when he reached the door. 

"I will," He assured me with a smile.

I made my way to the bedroom and paused once I opened the door. Jose was fast asleep on his back. I stood there and watched him for a minute, and I couldn't help but smile. I lay down beside him and lay my arm across his stomach. Soon, I fell asleep too.

~~~

"What's this?" Jose asked as we walked into a room of all our season eleven sisters. "What's everyone doing here?"

I put my arm around his shoulders. "Just a little get-together for the queens from our season." 

Jose was the only one in the room who had no idea why we were there. Yvie, Nina, Scarlet, Silky and Akeria have all been helping me plan it out. I was so happy that everyone, especially Silky, was able to keep their mouths shut about such an important secret.

"Hey everyone," I said loud enough for everyone to hear. "Can I get your attention for a minute?"

I paused to wait for them to settle down. Akeria was covertly recording it on his phone already, and I knew Ariel had already been on Insta Live, and probably still was, from the way he was holding their phone. "You were all there when Jose and I first met. You got to witness the beginning of our relationship and see us fall in love with each other. Things were rough the first time, for sure. But, over time I realized I couldn't be without him, so I asked him to take me back and we ended up moving in together three years ago this coming Sunday." Cheers broke out in the room. Phones were held up less secretively. I can’t bear to look at Jose until I’m done saying what I have to say. I’ll have to watch his reaction on social media later. "Here we are three years later, another lease later and miraculously, we’re still together. Jose has known since the second I walked into the workroom that I was the one. It took me a lot longer to realize it for myself, but I know he's the only man for me.

"Jose," I turned to face him, unable to hold back a smile. My throat was so tight I had to clear it twice before I was able to continue. "I didn't even know what love was before I met you, but now I know that I love you more than anything." I slowly shifted onto one knee, gently, can’t risk my muscles spasming at such an important moment. I pulled a ring box out of my pants pocket. His hands are over his mouth and he’s leaning slightly. I still can’t let myself look in his eyes. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!” His voice was barely there, but he leaned down and kissed me, tears flowing freely from his eyes. "Even though you made me cry in front of everyone, you asshole."

Our audience cheered and I stood up, embracing my new fiance tightly. When I finally let go, I slipped the ring onto his finger and pulled him into a kiss. 

We had a long line of friends ready to congratulate us when Jose and I finally broke apart. It felt amazing to be able to share that moment with all of our friends. Plastique screamed in my face in excitement -- my ears rang but I couldn’t be mad at her. Silky pulled me into a crushing hug. When Silky let me go, I noticed Scarlett running around taking selfies with everyone. I couldn’t help but smile. I was endlessly thankful to have them around for that moment.

~~~

In 2 years, Jose and I managed to pull together our perfect wedding. If it went the way we planned, everything would be just the way we, or rather Jose, dreamed it would be. He insisted we had our wedding at the Alexandria Ballrooms. I didn’t mind that at all because the venue is quite magnificent and it holds five hundred people. 

We certainly had a lot of love and support from friends and family, and that was one of the best parts about it. I was a bit surprised at how well Silky and my mom got along despite being complete opposite personalities. My mom is a sweet, quiet lady while Silky is… well, Silky. They kept each other entertained while Silky guarded the door to make sure Jose didn’t come in. Meanwhile, I managed to forget to eat before coming to the venue, so Yvie had to force feed me because I was getting hangry. I assured myself that Scarlet would’ve helped with that if she hadn’t been overly busy taking selfies in front of all the decor with Plastique and Ariel. In that moment, I questioned a bit why I allowed those three to be in the same room. Jose’s mom came in to see me for a minute and brought his brothers, who were a bit thrown by my Canadian accent. 

“Everything looks very pretty out there, Brock,” His mom told me with a bright smile.

“That’s all thanks to Jose,” I laughed. “He did all the planning and picking out decorations.”

“I may have had a little influence on his choices,” She winked.

I heard Jose’s voice in the distance, and suddenly a very stressed Akeria burst into the room. “Your drama queen son is looking for you,” Akeria told Jose’s mom. 

_ “Ay dios mio, Jose!” _ She yelled down the hallway. “Give me one second, son, I’ll be right back!”

His mom rolled her eyes as she turned back to me. “I’ll see you out there, baby. I have to go rescue your husband.”

I laughed and waved to her. When she stepped out of the room, I noticed everyone had stopped what they were doing. Even Scarlet and Plastique had pulled themselves away from their phones to look up in concern.

“What?” Silky addressed the room. “Y’all never seen bridezilla?”

Plastique giggled, breaking the trance that seemed to have taken over the small crowd. Everyone went back to their previous action. Staring at myself in the full-body mirror in my full getup, I blew out a long nervous breath.  _ What a wild ride this is going to be. _

~~~

As I stood in front of him on that illustrious day, listening to Monique Heart, who Jose had chosen to officiate, I physically could not stop smiling. We invited everyone we knew. Our families-- the ones who support us anyway, which isn’t a lot, though we were thankful for the ones who did come. Our friends, both drag friends and others. They were all sitting in whitewashed wood chairs watching us get married, blood family and chosen family, all mixed together.

We decided on a semi formal dress code for our guests. Jose would never let anyone outshine him on his wedding day, so he asked that no one come in drag (Of course someone had to push the rules, but Detox kept it cute, at least). Our colors were violet and gold, which I thought was a bit strange for a summer wedding, but I wasn’t going to question any of Jose’s choices. I wanted him to have anything he could imagine. That pissed him off a little bit. I could remember one fight in particular:

_ Jose was annoyed that I was letting him have complete control over the wedding planning. I just wanted him to have what he wanted -- I’d be happy with whatever he picked. To him, that translated as I didn’t care about it so I was just pushing all the planning off on him.  _

_ “Why don’t you care about this?” Jose huffed. “This is our special day!” _

_ “I do care!” I whisper-yelled. The professional planner, who we hired to help Jose keep track of everything that needed to be done, was just outside. I didn’t want to make the poor kid uncomfortable. It wasn’t his fault that picking the color of the napkin holders had gone wrong. _

_ Jose crossed his arms. “It doesn’t seem like it to me.” _

_ “Jose.” I uncrossed his arms for him and took his hands in mine. “I don’t care if the napkins are black or white or cream colored, or if the corsages are irises or Queen Anne’s lace. I just care about slipping a ring on your finger and kissing you in front of our family.” _

_ “Fine,” Jose’s face cracked and he had to dab his eyes.. “But you’re not allowed to complain if you don’t like any of it.”  _

_ I kissed his hairline. “Deal.” _

Nina was taking photos. We both had our moms there to help us get ready. Akeria and Silky had been there to keep us apart all day. At multiple intervals, I was ushered out of rooms, just to keep me from seeing my future husband.  _ Hmmm… husband. _

Jose and I had both decided to write our own vows. I was nervous about messing mine up, but I knew the love in Jose's face, and probably some tears, would be worth it.

"Brock," Monique said. "You can go first."

I took a deep breath and pulled my crinkled notecards out of my pocket. I looked down at them, gripping them tight in my sweaty hands. "There's nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time, but we didn't give up on each other. I mean, look where it got us. We're getting married in front of our family and friends. You taught me what love felt like. And you taught me what heartbreak felt like. You taught me that missing someone you love is so much harder than missing your cats when you're away from home," Everyone laughed, including Jose. "If someone told me on the day we met that someday we'd be standing under a wedding arch together, I'd tell them they were crazy. That I’d never. Before you, I never imagined anything more than burying myself in my work for the rest of my life, surrounded by my cats.” A polite chuckle rolled through the crowd. I continued, “Now, for the first time in my life, I want all the cliche things. I want a house and I want a family. I want kids! Which I never thought I’d say.” Another bout of polite laughter rolled over the gathered audience. “I want all of it, and I want it all with you, Jose. I love you. Forever."

"Jose..." Monique gestured towards him with a side-eye and a smile.

"Damn it, Brock," He laughed and wiped away a few tears. "He always makes me cry when he says sweet shit. Anyway, I thought you was fine as hell the first time I seen you get out of drag in the workroom. I was like 'Imma make that man my husband or at least get under him,' if you know what I'm saying," Laughter erupted in the crowd again. Jose even laughed at himself. God, he was gorgeous with that ear to ear grin. In the crowd, I heard the easily identifiable voice of Plastique screaming  _ Yaaaas! _

Jose resumed, "But seriously, we had some hard times, it for sure wasn’t all rainbows and kittens. But at the end of the day, we love each other and that's all that matters. I hope I'm still loving you when I'm old and wrinkly. Let's be honest, you'll get old and wrinkly way before I do, with ya old ass. And yeah... That's all I got."

It was informal and humorous, but that's just Jose. I wouldn't have it any other way. When we kissed for the first time as husbands, the whole world felt different. He was no longer my boyfriend or my fiance, Jose was finally my  _ husband, _ legally bound and entitled to Social Security if I ever committed the sin of leaving him behind on this Earth. This moment  _ was _ all butterflies and rainbows and cliches and it was all I could've ever wished for.

~~~

The room where the reception was held was decorated so opulently courtesy of Jose’s creative mind and his impeccable sense of beauty. There was plenty of room for us and our guests to dance, along with tables and chairs around the edges of the room for the older folks. Admittedly, I wanted more input on the reception than the actual ceremony. To keep the dance floor orderly, I had convinced Jose that we should use the traditional dance order: our first dance, the parent dance, the trade-offs. Other than that, I’d let him plan everything exactly the way he wanted.

When it was time for the two of us to have our first dance, Jose grabbed my hand and dragged me out to the dance floor. Although he was in his thirties now, Jose was just as young and carefree as ever. My body may have been slowly falling apart, but not Jose. He was just the same as he was when we met. He paused on the dance floor and placed his arms around my neck, a giant smile on his face. I smiled back at my new husband as I placed my hands on his hips. 

“So we finally did it, huh?" Jose laughed as we swayed back and forth to “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. "We're married now and shit."

I chuckled and kissed his forehead. "I'm still kinda in shock that this is actually happening, but I'm happy. There's no one else I'd rather be standing here with."

"Why do you always do that?" Jose looked away as tears formed in his eyes, his signature smile still on his face. "You know it makes me cry when you say sweet bullshit like that."

I laughed and leaned in to press my cheek against his hair. "It's your wedding day, baby. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to cry."

Because neither of our fathers are present in our lives, we decided the two of us would dance with our biological and drag mothers instead.

"You look as handsome as ever, Brock," My mother smiled, looking up at me. "I always knew you'd find a good man and settle down. I’m just  _ so _ pleased to finally see you two get married."

I chuckled. "Thanks, mom, it  _ has _ been a long time coming." I happened to look over and see Shuga capturing the moment on her phone. Jose and I were truly the center of attention on this day.

Jose appeared beside us with his mother, who still hadn’t aged a day since I first met her years ago. "Mind if I cut in?"

"I would love that." My mom grinned, letting go of me to dance with Jose.

Jose's mom hugged me tightly before laying her hands on my shoulders. "You are so good to my son," she said. “And to your new mother-in law.”

"I wasn't always that good to him," I sighed, my brain flashing back to past fights and our long break up.

She cupped my cheek with a gentle yet calloused hand. Her smile felt like it had seen a century and finally had found a home. “The love between the two of you is very strong. No matter what happens, you will always find your way back to each other.” 

After she said that, I had to bury my face in her shoulder for the rest of the dance, let her rub my back and hum softly next to my ear so I felt the vibration of her voice, even though I couldn’t hear anything in the crowded ballroom.

After that dance was over, we allowed everyone to come onto the dance floor. Jose and I took a short break, sitting at our head table together. We watched our friends and family enjoy themselves as we relaxed. I spotted Scarlet and Yvie dancing together in the crowd, Scarlet’s head on Yvie’s shoulder, which I found adorable.

“When did  _ that _ happen?” I asked Jose, chuckling lightly.

“What?” Jose furrowed his brows.

I gestured towards the two queens. “Look at Scarlet and Yvie.”

“Oh,” He nodded as he noticed them. “I have no clue. That’s some wild shit though. Kinda cute.”

I couldn’t help laughing at his comment. I sighed contently as I gazed around the ballroom. Everyone we loved was in the room helping us celebrate our love. Every little fight and tiff we’d had in the years leading up to tonight was forgotten. In fact, I was glad we’d taken the time to do this right. You only get one wedding if you play your cards right, and I couldn’t have imagined a more special wedding, and it was the happiest day of my life.

Our wedding day however, would be eclipsed as the best day of my life, little more than a year later.

~~~

"I don't think I’m ready," Jose whined, hiding behind me. We were standing in a linoleum hallway that smelled like disinfectant.

"Jose," I laughed. "It's too late. She's already born."

Jose and I decided pretty soon after we got married that we wanted a baby. We ended up finding a surrogate and having a baby that way. Jose had been nothing but excited right up until we were standing outside the door of her room.

Jose huffed. “What if Anna decides she wants to keep her?”

“She’s already been moved to another room and is getting ready to go home.”

Jose held onto my shirt like a toddler and leaned his head against my back."I don't wanna mess her up," he confessed. His voice sent vibrations through my spine and ribs.

I turned around and sighed. "Five minutes ago you couldn’t wait to be a dad. Now you won't even go see her?"

"I'm sorry," Jose wrapped his arms around me. "It  _ just _ hit me that this is actually happening and…  I don't feel ready."

"Both of our moms have told us we’ll never be ready,” I quipped. Seeing his daunted expression, I switched gears. “Plus, don’t forget that I'm always gonna be around to help. And so are our friends." I stroked my fingertips through his hair. "Can we at least go look at her?"

Jose nodded. "Okay."

I took his hand in mine and we walked into the room together. We looked over to the left and surrounded by three nurses was a tiny, red-faced, squirming baby. Jose gasped and squeezed my hand. I felt a wrench in my chest, something like all those years ago when I thought I’d lost Jose for good. This feeling though, this was the opposite. 

"She's so small," He whispered.

"We’re about finished with measurements,” One of the nurses said with a smile. “You can hold her in a minute if you want." 

"Yes, please!" A bright smile appeared on Jose’s face.

I watched as one of the nurses curled her arms under the baby on the counter and pulled her to her chest. Bouncing the pink newborn from hip to hip, she made her way over and handed the little baby girl to Jose. He took her, supporting her neck like the nurse guided him to. I couldn’t help but curl my hands around Jose’s shoulders, watching him from above. Her eyes were the teeniest bit open, and the way he looked at her about made my heart burst. As soon as Jose locked eyes with her, he was smitten. I knew he would be, which is why I pushed him to at least meet her before he decided he wasn't ready for a baby.

"What's her name?" One of the other nurses asked him.

"Cassandra Isabella Hayhoe," He looked up at me, eyes bright and smile wide.

"Aren't you glad I convinced you to come in here?" I laughed.

"Yes," He stroked her tiny face softly. "I love her so much already."

"I do too," I put my arm around him and kissed his head. "She looks so much like you."

"It feels crazy to me that I helped create this tiny little human." A few tears ran down his cheeks. "I can't believe I'm actually holding my baby.  _ Our _ baby."Jose looked up at me. "Do you want to hold her, Brock?"

"If you can stand to not be touching her for a few minutes," I laughed. "Yes, I would love to."

He lay our little Cassandra in my arms very carefully. She stared up at me with her chocolate brown eyes and any coldness left in my heart, any piece of my soul I’d kept closed off after all these years, left over from when I refused to get attached to anyone, that last icy stronghold melted away. As I looked at our newborn daughter, I knew what love felt like for the second time in my life.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Get Those Cookies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435932) by [artificialalexandria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialalexandria/pseuds/artificialalexandria)




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